It's Meme Time here at VFTP Command Central...

...and then it's off to slay the essay dragon at the other blog, where I need to gin up two posts by this time tomorrow. Here, courtesy of Ambulance Driver, is the "LALOLKFATYK" Meme, (which is coincidentally the word for a Vogon wedding dance where the bride and groom stomp puppies to death to the accompaniment of bagpipes and the cheers of the wedding party.)

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? No.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Yesterday evening, at the effort of trying to explain to yet another internet twink that 1+1 did, in fact, equal 2, and that he wasn't entitled to have an opinion that "3" made a better answer.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? I don't write, I print. It's tolerably legible. I guess I like it, or at least don't feel any great antipathy towards it.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Red, richly marbled roast beef. Prosciutto is a close second.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Just my inner one, and she's quite enough of a handful at the moment.

IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I'd try. Being friends with me is a lot of work at times, or so I'm given to understand.

DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? You're new here, aren't you?

DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Not on a dare. No way, no how. Not just "No", but "Helllz no!"

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Golden Grahams. Or anything with those crunchy little marshmallow bits in it.

DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? I untie my shoes, but the boots I usually wear have side zips, which are just the greatest thing ever.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? I am fairly certain that I'm pretty weak.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Pistachio.

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? How they carry themselves; I can't stand folks who cringe. Stand straight and look folks in the eye, dammit.

RED OR PINK? Red. I have two cute red jackets that should be back in style any year now and I can hardly wait.

WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? I'd hate my laziness, but I can't seem to work up the energy to do it. Pass the mojitos.

WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? That's a tough one. I'm awfully self-contained; "When the ship lifts, all bills are paid." I do have plenty of friends I wish I saw more of, however. Pesky 'real life', with all its jobs and geography. Why can't they all be right here, right now?

WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Black Reeboks, blue jeans.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? A bowl of chili, with shredded cheese, sliced jalapenos, and enough McIlhenny's Habanero sauce to crinkle the roof of my mouth like cellophane.

WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? "Anthem" by Leonard Cohen just ended, "Crawling" by Linkin Park just started.

IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Periwinkle, because the name always made me giggle.

FAVORITE SMELLS? Steak on the grill. Hoppe's #9. Burnt gunpowder. Dogwoods. Honeysuckle. The smell of a clean cat. Leather.

WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Bob the gunsmith.

FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? I don't like watching sports. I do however love watching baseball, which is not a sport, but rather a game.

HAIR COLOR[S]? Strawberry blond.

EYE COLOR? Blue.

DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? No.

FAVORITE FOOD? A very, very rare steak.

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? I'm all about the happy endings. Scary movies would run to an average of ten minutes long if the damn protagonists would just pack heat.

LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? In a theater? 300. At home? Equilibrium.

WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? White. It says "Kitten Thinks Of Nothing But Murder All Day."

SUMMER OR WINTER? Fall. It's the season for nostalgia.

HUGS OR KISSES? Generally hugs. They're less often bungled.

FAVORITE DESSERT? "If I had room for dessert, I'd order another steak."

MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? I'd say "Ambulance Driver", but I boosted this from him in the first place.

LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Lawdog. When you come up with original material as easily as he does, why bother with memes?

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I'm jumping back and forth between Baseball for Everybody, by that traitor Tom Glavine, and Knowing the Enemy: Jihadist Ideology and the War on Terror, by Mary Habeck.

WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? At this point in time, VFTP Command Central is not equipped with a mouse pad, and hasn't been since I went optical.

WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? At this point in time, VFTP Command Central is not equipped with a TV, and hasn't been since I figured out that it's all dreck and that anything worth watching would eventually be available on DVD.

FAVORITE SOUND[S]? Gunfire. Redline upshifts. Ludwig Van. A purring cat.

ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Generally the Beatles. Except for "Gimme Shelter" and "Honky Tonk Women".

WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Ljungskile, Sweden.

DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? No. I am relentlessly average.

WHERE WERE YOU BORN? I was born in Chicago, IL so I could be close to my mother.

WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK? I wonder if John will play?

(PS: Thanks, Ambo Driver, for doing all the hard formatting with the bold text and stuff so I could just copy and paste. :))