So, rather than phone it in, I'll just leave y'all with the headline from yesterday's Blount County
Daily Times:
Man Beaten Unconscious With Shovel (I don't know why seeing that splashed across the front page kicked my gigglebox over...) and go have a lie-down.
See what you shovel-nuts are responsible for? How many more people have to fall to shovel violence before we get reasonable shovel-control laws?
ReplyDeleteHoo boy. Let's see now:
ReplyDeleteWhen the Bill of Rights was written, shovels were straight and wooden. No Union Razorbacks, no plastic-framed Ditch Witches, no full-slew Warner & Swasey Hop-To's, able to spray dirt in all directions. Clearly the Framers never meant to grant the average citizen access to these tools. The National Guard has them; that's enough in today's society.
Next?
I am glad to say that I have never seen a shovel. It is obvious that our social spheres have been widely different.
ReplyDeleteWe used to call a spade a spade. Things happened.
ReplyDeleteWell, I think that, with proper controls, certain shovels are okay for those properly trained in their use. Snow shovels, long-handle digging implements, grain scoops - - These should be okay.
ReplyDeleteBut it is clear that the average person has NO legitimate use for the compact, easily concealed, military entrenching tools and survival shovels.
After all - - It's for the children.
I see that this is no time for wearing the shallow mask of manners.
ReplyDeleteSoon we'll have know nothing legislators trying to designate everything with a handle of under 3 feet and a cross-grip as a "Sharp shooter."
ReplyDeleteThere will be plenty of dung shov-- er-- thrown, and the spadeaphobics will malign all shovels as "Idiot Sticks." Soon the Anti-Shovel Movement will become so entrenched, the cry "No honest man needs a shovel" will ring across this land, and we won't be able to dig our way out; we'll have to ditch our tools.
I'm told in that in Texas a civilians can own tracked excavators and, gasp, front end loaders.
ReplyDeleteAnd are free to use them on their own property.
Shovels don't beat people unconscious, people with shovels beat people unconscious.
ReplyDeleteI see no reason to be so wilde about it...
ReplyDeleteHad the victim carried so much as a pocket trowel, this tragedy might hve been averted.
One word: Spetznaz. Case closed.
Just between you and me, what this world needs is more people beaten unconscious with shovels.
ReplyDeleteI'd start at the "10 Items Or Less" lane at the supermarket and work my way to around behind the counter at the DMV...
But, like the errant comma-delineated clause in 2A, that brings in legal definitions of "unconscious," and SCOTUS starts to chew its sleeve...
ReplyDeleteSnark-infested waters ;)
ReplyDelete