This Google Analytics thing is the shizznit. It's got more graphs than a Congressional subcommittee hearing and more buttons than a waiter at TGI Friday's. I even know what some of them do.
According to this, you are probably an American (and living in Texas), using a cable connection and Internet Explorer, on a machine running WinXP with a screen resolution of 1024x768. You're most likely a white male between the ages of 35 and 45, make $40k-$80k/yr, and could stand to lose a few pounds, or so your doctor says. You're a Capricorn, and you forgot to take the trash out last night. Yes, that was the garbage truck that just went by. Too late.
How does Google know all this stuff? Beats me. I'd wonder more about why webcams and microphones have become such popular PC peripherals lately, though.
Jeez, Tam:
ReplyDeleteA: For your information, Miss Prissy Pants, even though I went to sleep at 0230 last night, I got up at 0730 this AM to run the trash out before the truck could pass me by... uh, right now.
B: And I'm not a Capricorn.
C: And I could sign in as Me if Google wasn't on the fritz for me the last few hours, which seems frightening-- No Google is like no morning sunrise. I was a Google fan from 'wayyyy back, but lately, I'm beginning to wonder if the Web doesn't need to diversify a little bit more.
D: (Uh, the rest of that crap was spot-on. But as for the coupla extra pounds: I'm workin' onnit!)
ReplyDelete--Matt
The other day, a Google desktop thingy just appeared. There's a searchbox, local weather, a clock, and photos from my harddrive...
ReplyDeleteWe had a discussion: "Did you put this on the computer?"
"No, I thought you did"
We're still perplexed, and a little creeped out.
The male in Texas part is correct, everything else is wrong.
ReplyDeleteI use a Mac. And it's Monkey's job to take out the trash.
As I've told you before, you're missing a lot of good info in your stat package because your code isn't in your comments section. you can switch to inline comments and fix that.
ReplyDelete-SayUncle
BTW, today's word verification is: lglmqwkd
Wow...the garbage truck literally just drove by.
ReplyDeleteThat's scary.
Although I didn't "forget" to take it out...the can wasn't even half full so I just didn't bother.
I wonder if I'll get a refund on my utility bill this month?
I'm a Leo, and trash day is Friday, otherwise everything is spot-on.
ReplyDeleteWasn't me. I use W2K, I'm of a wholly acceptable weight, and I'm a Virgo.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I wasn't online last night.
Regards,
Rabbit.
Correct: American, WinXP @ 1024x768, white male, $40k-$80k, doctor sz nd to lose weight.
ReplyDeleteWrong: not in Texas, dial up (this week), FireFox, not 35-45, not a capricorn, son takes trash out when I remind him, trash day is thursday.
If you split the difference on the dial up/broadband part, it's pretty much a tie.
Shane
I'm in Texas, female, and Aries. And a redheaded one, so I got that going for me.
ReplyDeleteThe Taller Half handles the trash bits.
Ha, I defy all but two.
ReplyDeleteI should get that thing, it would be interesting to see it make its calculations from a sample of six..
At the time of my first reading, the only things correct are American white male, salary, and I could stand to lay off the chips and beer.
ReplyDeleteOnly when I get home do you get to add cable and IE to that; I have vista boxen cranked up to 1280x1024.
And I'm a Libra. Nyah :p (translation: I sneer at your attempts at compartmentalization! You cannot pigeonhole the Dr. Strangegun!)
totally wrong. Washington here, on a Mac, using Firefox, on a 1680x1050 display.
ReplyDeleteHm. Well, at least the WM, age, and astro sign are on...Well, I could lose 10-15 lbs, too.
ReplyDeleteOOPS !
ReplyDeleteMale Leo, wrong side of 45, and the garbage chute down the apartment hallway is open 24/7.
Lost 35 pounds in last 2 years,could still lose another 10.
Oh-and a Cnadian too, which I share with a whole 3% of your devoted readers.
Gemini. Brown-skinned islander. Kalifornistan (unfortunately). Firefox.
ReplyDeleteAnd I already took the garbage out.
Canadian on Ubuntu-Firefox.Got the Capricorn right.
ReplyDeleteGlenn
AZ, firefox, 2048x768, <35, Scorpio. Everything else is close enough. But trash comes twice a week, so no worries.
ReplyDeletemozilla, fishes, trash is resp of senior male descendant, I was asleep, computer was on 8-)
ReplyDeleteTX, correct
age, correct
weight not,
r
Google is close but they are too skewed by non-Texas data.
ReplyDeleteOne most of us use at least dual monitor's and 1024x768 is for the birds. At least 1920x1200x2 monitors.
35-45 is reasonable.
XP and DSL (cable is too socialist, DSL means I don't share well)
Texas of course.
WinXP because Vista requires too much new software just to surf the net.
40k to 80k? What a joke. Obviously they must be thinking about our oil bonuses and not our salaries. Goggle blew this one big time.
Yes, overweight and lack of exercise. Heat, humidity and eating out too often causes that.
Trash forgotten? No way. Stuff reeks too bad if you miss it in the heat and humidity.
Webcams and mikes? Yeah they are around, but not used much.
You all should come to Texas and enjoy the time. You all would be welcome here.
American > ding!
ReplyDeleteTexas > bzzzt! Minnesota
Cable > bzzzt! DSL
IE > ding!
WinXP > ding! (Pro)
1024x768 > ding! Dual Monitors.
White Male > ding! (Iron Ranger)
35-45 > bzzzt! 50
$40-$80K > ding! $70+
Lose weight > bzzzt! I have a BowFlex. I crack walnuts in the crook of my arm, you can bounce a dime off my abs and when the new phone books show up I tear the old ones in half with my bare hands.
Capricorn > ding! Year of the dog.
Forget Trash > bzzzt! Always on schedule, like me. I have to be. Single dad, two teenagers, one of each flavor. Both are expert shots and have firearms safety certification because their dad is an instructor in his spare time, which is very little.
db