That started my day with a giggle.

MINNEAPOLIS, Minnesota (AP) -- A convicted felon who became a motivational speaker -- and used his life experiences to warn teens about the dangers of drugs and crime -- is accused of going on a bender, threatening to kill his girlfriend and her son, and smashing a former prison buddy in the face with a statue of John Wayne.

Well, maybe he said something bad about the Duke...

I dunno why that kicked over my giggle box. You have to admit that the John Wayne statue adds the perfect Dada touch to the paragraph, though.