How to not get killed.

Not too many blocks from where we went to go see the movie Saturday afternoon, apparently the five-oh was clearing up a crime scene where two women had been found sitting in a car, shot dead as Dillinger.

The legacy media interviewed one local bright light who said

"I'm scared to walk my dog out here now because they were probably around my age, around 20," said Jessica Mallah. "I don't want to walk around alone now because I don't know what happened to them, if it was personal or just a random act of violence."

Well, Jessica, I'm going to say it was probably a random act of personal violence. As a community service, allow me to share Tamara's Handy Tips For Not Winding Up On The Wrong Side Of The Yellow Tape:

1) If you're in a bad neighborhood, the kind where you get to hear gunfire and sirens on a nightly basis, move. If you can't move, have yourself inside at a decent hour, before the time when "suspects" start outnumbering "witnesses" on street corners.

2) As a matter of fact, having yourself in at a decent hour is good advice for just about anybody. Ask your local po-po, but I'd bet that in most places, not much good happens after ten p.m.; certainly after midnight, the majority of the folks not already at home are already legally intoxicated, or are engaged in business transactions buying or selling intoxicants. Saying that these people are overrepresented in criminal and traffic code violations is like saying that rednecks are overrepresented in the stands at a NASCAR race.

3) Regardless of your opinion of the War on (Some) Drugs, the fact remains that, for now, drugs are illegal. This means that to get any for your own use, you have to come in contact with some one who is, by definition... class? Anyone? That's right, a criminal. Now, other than engaging in a little unlicensed pharmaceutical distribution, your particular connection may be a saint and a member of the Kiwanis. On the other hand, how well do you really know them? They've demonstrated the willingness to break one law; what others do they break? What other criminals do they associate with? What are the chances of this all ending in tears? If you want to play the safe side of the odds, wear your seatbelt, don't ride motorcycles, and stay away from the dope and the people who use it.

4) Likewise, hitting people is against the law. You should stay the hell away from people who think fisticuffs is an appropriate method of conflict resolution for adults. Particularly if they also have a fondness for judgement-impairing substances like Budweiser. I don't care if you lovelovelove them; if they have proven their willingness to talk with their fists, they will do it again, and maybe worse. If you are living with them or hanging around them, get out. You can then settle your differences from the other end of a phone line a whole lot safer than you could have from inside the tiger cage.

You'll notice that I didn't get into traditional self-defense talk, whether about handgun carry permits and pepper spray or being alert and dialing 911? That's because if you follow the handy lifestyle guidelines above, you will remove 99.99% of the chances that you will ever need the rest of it, because truly random violent crime is really pretty rare most places and can often be avoided by simple alertness.

So, there you go: Stay away from people who habitually break laws. Stay away from places where people who are breaking laws tend to congregate. If you want to move on to being an advanced practitioner, we can start talking about alertness color codes and training and carry permits and such, but the above steps should have you well down the road to a safer life.