Wednesday, September 16, 2009

CSI: Lafayette.

The current suspect is the D&D geek, in the driveway, with a broadaxe.
A large, medieval-style weapon was recovered at the scene.

McCoy described it as a doubleheaded, broadax with two 6-inch, stainless steel blades protruding from opposite sides.
Those East Coast college kids ain't got nothin' on the ones out here in flyover country...

18 comments:

  1. "We've gotten conflicting stories about what happened," McCoy said. "The victim has not been willing to cooperate. One conflicting part is whether or not he should have been there."

    So, they have a guy on a gurney at the horsepistol with a big axe sticking out of his shoulder and he refuses to say who did it?

    Lafayette Police Detective: "Come on, buddy, tell us who did it."

    Complaining Witness: "No, not until you give me my twenty-sided dice back so I can make my saving throw."

    That crime is so stupid it had to take place in Indiana. Oh, right, it did.

    I'm wearing boots of escaping!

    Shootin' Buddy

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hey, I'm impressed at the John Hopkins student. I remember reading in my SCA book years and years ago in middle school that the whole "lopping off of limbs with swords" thing was made up by overimaginative storytellers.

    Assuming the self-defense angle holds up.. wow. Sounds like an interesting kid who knew how to use the danged thing.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "I remember reading in my SCA book years and years ago in middle school that the whole "lopping off of limbs with swords" thing was made up by overimaginative storytellers."

    Whoever wrote that SCA book didn't know about the gravesite at Visby, then. There's more than one person there that lost both legs to a single swing...

    ReplyDelete
  4. King Arthur: [after Arthur's cut off both of the Black Knight's arms] Look, you stupid Bastard. You've got no arms left.

    Black Knight: Yes I have.

    King Arthur: *Look*!

    Black Knight: It's just a flesh wound.

    ..lolwow. Courage of conviction is setting new precedent in our youth.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hey, they were just LARPing "Pleasure Prison of the Brythuvian Demon Whore."

    ReplyDelete
  6. I know almost nothing of metallurgy, but wouldn't using stainless steel in an axe be kind of a waste?

    And, I wonder if the Hopkin's student was using a Hanzo sword?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was curious if it was at least a good Paul Chen and not some flea-market SLO.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Obviously the guy was axe-ing for it. And his reluctance to make any statements is because he's looking to bury the hatchet.

    As for the student with katana, you have to hand it to him, it sounds like a decently executed move.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "What's this?"
    "A sword?"
    http://www.angryalien.com/0905/highlanderbuns.asp

    ReplyDelete
  10. Broadax? Oh, is that where I left it? Great, if you'd just hand it over I'll be on my way... uhhhh...

    Yannow, on second thought that isn't mine. Gotta go... bye!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Now I want to know if the Katana was one of the real-deal uber-expensive swords, or one of the mock-up wall-hangers that is cheap, but still quite sharp.

    Such evidence could invoke a 1911 vs. Glock, AK vs. AR, .45 vs. .40 vs. 9mm type flame-war!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Six inch blades? Pfft. Piker.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @ deadcenter. Yes it would be a waste.
    The wall hangers aren't good for anything except looking at. In addition to the stainless steel blades, the swords usually have a rat tail tang that won't withstand a lot of full contact action.A replica axe would hold up better, but it is made of the wrong material for any serious use.
    Having said all that, stainless steel is a lot harder than flesh.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Tam namedrops Paul Chen, establishes sword-geek credentials.

    The Arms Room needs an Atrim tactical.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Tams - ironically, I recall another article in that book (Known World Handbook, circa early 1990's) did mention Visby. I rather think in retrospect the "overactive storytellers" argument came from a gentleman playing around with a mid-80's reproduction in the back yard and concluding "if I can't do it, it can't be done." Professor Kagan's "higher naivete" seems the wiser course I think - essentially "if the old sources all say something happened, assume there's at least a good chance they knew what they were talking about." ...and I suspect you're right about the sword.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Michael Hughes, 43, who lives two doors down from the house where the slaying occurred, said he was getting ready for bed at around 1:30 a.m. when he heard screams from the rear of the home.

    Blood curdling screams from the burglar are the best part of katana self defense ...

    ReplyDelete
  17. On the Johns Hopkins katana report: OK, I'll grudgingly admit that it's possible for ninjas sometimes--sometimes--to be as cool as we pirates are.

    "[Police spokesman Anthony) Guglielmi said the [dead criminal] man had been arrested on charges such as burglary several times before, and had been released Saturday from a Baltimore County jail. "

    Color me astounded.

    ReplyDelete
  18. As for the axe incident--read between the lines. It's a so-called boyfriend in the house of a girlfriend...and there's ambiguity whether he was supposed to be there. And it was the woman's son who fetched him a mighty blow.

    Sounds to me there might be a lil' something hinky with the "victim".

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.