Regular-sized zip-loc sammich baggies are really only sized for PB&J on Wonder Bread or balogna and mayo on Roman Meal. If you want a grown-up sandwich, say, deli-cut pastrami and swiss on seeded rye, you need the "XL"-sized zip-loc sammich baggies.
Given this fact, how come the Fresh Market only carries the one size, and it's the bitty ones?
Because real sammich-makers use waxed paper and a frilly toothpick, punk.
ReplyDelete/ducks and runs
Because Fresh Market is a HIPPY market, and poly bags are too environmentally yucky poo poo.
ReplyDeleteWrap your sammich in something biodegradable, like a lunch bag made of real hippy skin.
Maybe it's because the scrawney hippie chicks at the fresh market couldn't eat an XL sized bag of that rabbit chow that they eat and, like most hippies, they can't think beyond their own frame of reference to see that others might want the XL sized bags. I blame a severe animal protien deficiency.
ReplyDeleteoh... as long as I'm insulting hippie chicks anyway... they smell funny too.
s
Fresh Market's really a lot more yuppie gourmet than vegan hippie, actually.
ReplyDeleteOh NO joke they are. It's like a vortex of smug.
ReplyDeleteThey want you to use waxed paper so that by the time you get home, the bread will either be soggy or dried out and likely to taste like sawdust.
ReplyDelete"Because Fresh Market is a HIPPY market, and poly bags are for carrying your stash in." TFTFY
ReplyDelete...'Cuz they're Commie Pinkos, and carrying the 20 mil, H-D, quart size, dual zip-loc bags for real food would negatively reflect upon the store, what with it being in the middle of hippie central, as you've previously described at length.
ReplyDeleteThey say that nothing on the internet is ever really lost. It just floats around 'out there' somewhere for ever.
ReplyDeleteIt occurs to me that this blog will be wonderful material for a doctorate in a century or two. 'A Snapshot Of A Sane Woman In The Crazy Years', perhaps.
I love the singing hippy up the tree.
'Jayne Austen Book & Gun Club'. Damn, I wish I'd thought of that.
Then we get a Peanut Butter and Jelly (which is seedless jam, right?) sandwich.
Long pause for thought, with an ear cocked for the frantic hum of Lord Sandwich spinning in his grave.
Then, as if it doesn't have enough problems already, you take this poor sandwich and imprison it in non-permeable plastic, instead of wrapping it kindly in a large paper towel.
Can we have more snaps of the Book and Gun Club, please? They are all wearing the hat his mother knitted, and everything.
Best wishes.
What do you want to put a deli-cut meat on seeded rye sandwich into a zip-loc for? Put it on a plate, sit down and eat it. Have a cold beer and a dill spear with it. Watch a baseball game or NASCAR race. Make snide remarks about World Cup pansies. (Hint: use fatty NY Deli pastrami. Heat in microwave for 45 seconds, then pile high on the rye. Melting swiss cheese on it is optional.)
ReplyDelete"Fresh Market's really a lot more yuppie gourmet than vegan hippie, actually."
ReplyDeleteMost yuppie gourmets that I've met are nothing more than rich hippies who also eat meat.
Contrary to what most younger people think, sixties hippies were not a bunch of vegetarians like the ones now, that came years later. I've seen many a stoned hippy in a greasy spoon chowing down on burgers during an attach of the munchies.
Ed,
ReplyDeleteYeah, this is that awesomely fatty stuff.
Plastic wrap. It's like a size-your-own bag!
ReplyDeleteThat or paper towels work wicked good too, so long as you don't pack yer sammich right next to the ice pack in yer lunch pail!
Ed, my wife makes those except she uses Onion Rolls instead of Rye.
ReplyDeleteYum!
"Cause they hate you & you suck.
ReplyDelete:)
sv
I blame the NRA. They won't protect our free speech, and now they won't advocate for ample baggies. Bastards! Return my dues and stop sending me magazines!
ReplyDeleteCartoon (Playboy? New Yorker?) from the late sixties: Two hippies sitting at a table, one holding a baggie and saying, "Wow, man, did you know a sandwich will fit in one of these?"
ReplyDeleteUsed to be every grown-up used to know how to wrap a sandwich using wax paper.
ReplyDeleteDon't wrap it like fast-food joints wrap their sandwiches. Do it the right way. Take enough wax paper so that when you lay the sandwich in the center, the long bits extend up about 6" above the sandwich. Make the ends meet and roll them toward the sandwich. Then fold the other ends in a manner similar to that used on Warsaw-Pact bullet packets, only fold the ends UNDER the sandwich.
The sandwich will stay wrapped like this whether in a paper sack or lunch box.
Sheesh, I've gotta explain EVERYTHING to you kids...
gvi
In an unrelated, but important FOOD comment, LOLLYPHILE (of S.F.)
ReplyDeleteis discontinuing it's BACON FLAVORED LOLLYS, due to the oil spill (I just received an email from them in this regard).
SO, if you like those Chocolate-Real Bacon Lollys, better hop to!
P.S. Mayo, not mustard on bologna?
You hit it gvi!
ReplyDeleteI thought that was a (my) family secret.
Must've come from packing lunch pails during the last depression...
Last week the late-night food cue here was "pizza", and I had none. Now I am craving pastrami on rye with melted swiss cheese and a pickle, and there is none of that for twenty miles around either! (Must anticipate Tam..must anticipate Tam..)
ReplyDeleteNCDave
Sigh. Wife's back on Weight Watchers, and I'm lucky to sneek in an extra bowl of Cheerios. Also GVI forgot to mention that the wax paper helps to keep your sammich from exploding when you put it in the office micronuker. P.S.: What's a Fresh Market? All I have in my neck of the woods is Giant Eagle, or I can go down the road to the Giant Eagle, or cross the railroad tracks and head south to the Giant Eagle.....
ReplyDeleteNC Dave:
ReplyDeleteYou have it easy. Twenty miles? I've got to fly to the next country over (Australia) at great expense for a pastrami on rye.
And I don't know if the Aussies would even know how to make one if I did head that way.
And pizza? The stuff here makes Dominos look good.
Oh, well, at least I can get good meat pies...
That is "query", Tam. Maybe you're supposed to cut your sammich up into cute little finger pastramionrye sammiches so that they, and you, fit in.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the quers like you using that word, though. But it's okay if they do. Perfectly good word hijacked. PC is some dumb shit.
AT
Perchance, have you asked them why?
ReplyDeleteDear Joe in PNG
ReplyDeleteWell, at least you don't have to pay $50-$60 for a rack of lamb, if you can find it. As for pizza... I smell a business opportunity!
Nah, it's only the very few folks from N. America that don't like the local pizza. Seems we have an irrational desire to put this "sauce" stuff on it.
ReplyDeleteHowever, the Chinese resturants here are incredible.