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“I only regret that I have but one face to palm for my country.”
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Friendly Business Pointer!
The fact that you felt compelled to include the word "legitimate" in your email header of "WOW! ONLINE MONEYMAKING BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY! LEGITIMATE!!" tells me that it is not, in fact, probably all that legitimate.
This does not pass what I like to call "The Fancy Ketchup Test."
Ever look at those ketchup packets you get at fast food joints? Some of them are emblazoned with the words "Fancy Ketchup."
If you have to tell me it's fancy, it probably isn't.
Contrariwise, if I go to a high-falutin' hotel, and they serve freshly-made ketchup in a little crystal bowl with a silver spoon, they don't need to tell me their ketchup is fancy, as it's quite plainly obvious that they're serving some fancy damned ketchup.
I worked for a major financial co. for almost 22 years, and they had banners all over, in the building, stating, "********** is the BEST Company in the World!" They didn't, and the fact they felt the need to keep telling us said it all.
Reminds me of my wife and our comments about such things..."Quality with a 'k'" (referring to all the types of products that emphasize how great they are...with purposefully mis-spelled words such as 'Kwality').
I always notice it with "Heavy Duty" batteries-- they actually are some of the lamest batteries you can get.
Then, too, movies with the name of the author behind the premise usually suck: "William Shakespeare's Hamlet"-- Hey, if it was for folks who knew Hamlet, they wouldn't have to say who the playwright was, nomesayne?
"Bram Stoker's Dracula." Ooh. That's gonna be a treat, right?
Next you'll be telling me those nice men with terminal illnesses in Africa aren't REALLY going to cut me in on 1% of their multi-million dollar funds they need to transfer through a US based account!
Or that I'm NOT really a secret winner of the Irish Lottery I never played!
I've sent in my routing numbers, waiting for the big bucks to roll in. . .
This does not pass what I like to call "The Fancy Ketchup Test."
ReplyDeleteEver look at those ketchup packets you get at fast food joints? Some of them are emblazoned with the words "Fancy Ketchup."
If you have to tell me it's fancy, it probably isn't.
Contrariwise, if I go to a high-falutin' hotel, and they serve freshly-made ketchup in a little crystal bowl with a silver spoon, they don't need to tell me their ketchup is fancy, as it's quite plainly obvious that they're serving some fancy damned ketchup.
Would a fifth exclamation point change your mind?
ReplyDeleteAs Terry Pratchett puts it, multiple exclamation points are the sign of a diseased mind.
ReplyDeleteI worked for a major financial co. for almost 22 years, and they had banners all over, in the building, stating, "********** is the BEST Company in the World!"
ReplyDeleteThey didn't, and the fact they felt the need to keep telling us
said it all.
Good businesses don't have to tell you they're good.
ReplyDeleteno wonder you have a headache, people yelling at you all the time.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of my wife and our comments about such things..."Quality with a 'k'" (referring to all the types of products that emphasize how great they are...with purposefully mis-spelled words such as 'Kwality').
ReplyDeleteI always notice it with "Heavy Duty" batteries-- they actually are some of the lamest batteries you can get.
ReplyDeleteThen, too, movies with the name of the author behind the premise usually suck: "William Shakespeare's Hamlet"-- Hey, if it was for folks who knew Hamlet, they wouldn't have to say who the playwright was, nomesayne?
"Bram Stoker's Dracula." Ooh. That's gonna be a treat, right?
As opposed to somebody else's Hamlet and Dracula?
ReplyDeleteMary Shelly's Frankenstein instead of Jennifer Shelly's Frankenfabulous?
ReplyDeleteI think those guys just like stole all the Twilight episodes.
Bastille day!
ReplyDeleteIf it has the work "re-elect" in the subject field, it's completely above board.
ReplyDeleteCompletely.
And strangely, the word verification is "wookado". I wonder how they create these CAPTCHAs.
Next you'll be telling me those nice men with terminal illnesses in Africa aren't REALLY going to cut me in on 1% of their multi-million dollar funds they need to transfer through a US based account!
ReplyDeleteOr that I'm NOT really a secret winner of the Irish Lottery I never played!
I've sent in my routing numbers, waiting for the big bucks to roll in. . .