Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Wonder no longer...

Brian J. Noggle has solved the mystery of the Unidentified SoCal SLBM Launch, which the government is claiming was a flock of birds towing a weather balloon through a cloud of swamp gas back-lit by the planet Venus.

We are grateful that our slumbering galactic overlords are still keeping one slit-pupiled eye half-open watching out for us, their tasty and nutritious charges.

18 comments:

  1. See, nobody wants to talk about the alien problem cause everbody's being all polite and PC and such. Dont want to get any of that AZ backlash.
    Wait. What. These are not the same aliens? Oh.
    Nevermind

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  2. My bet is that the North Koreans have dropped off a short letter to the U.S. stating that any merchant ship could "accidentally" lose a bit of deck cargo overboard that contained an IRBM sealed in a tube and weighted to float submerged with the pointy end up.

    Which way did the thing fly? If the course had been reversed 180 degrees, where would it have landed?

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  3. Wait this is proof that James Cameron's FIRST crop of Hippie Smurfs are REAL?

    Quick Call Lt. Coffey, he has the right idea!!!

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  4. I thought that the theory that this was a projection of power to Asia while Oby was over visiting was hilarious. There are just too many wrong things in there to make any sense whatsoever. Is it bad that the alien theory makes more sense to me?

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  5. I guess I am the only one who seems concerned about a ballistic missile that nobody seems to know about blasting off. Didn't phase our fearless leader, and I guess the military is just shrugging their shoulders about it. So much for missile defense systems. Anybody know where the hell it went?

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  6. Contrail theory, which I lean towards, ought to be easy to verify, what was onthe radar out there?

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  7. Nothing to see here folks. Move along.

    Gerry

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  8. The best part of the whole thing is people who complain about defense spending and believe this was a missile launched by a hostile power see it as an argument for defense spending cuts.

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  9. Probably the Mexican Drug Cartels field testing their Anti-Border Patrol UAV Missile Defense system. We should have the BATFE run background checks on the illegal smuggling of Estes Rocket Engines to Tiajuana and stop the "Straw Buying" of igniters.

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  10. Newport Beach webcam footage the next day makes a pretty strong argument for it being US Airways Flight 808 from Honolulu to Phoenix.

    Don't feel bad, though; there are still plenty of nuclear warheads pointing right at you.

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  11. Actually, it is Dr. McNinja shooting down a dinosaur scout ship to prevent an invasion.

    http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/20p24

    (Story begins here: http://drmcninja.com/archives/comic/20p1)

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  12. I was hoping for private launch with a side order of "who wants to know?"

    Yes, there are plenty of potential downsides in that scenario too, but I'm feeling a little wookieish today.

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  13. looks like an airliner to me.

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  14. Seems likely, dammit. Oh well, maybe next time.

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  15. . . . but . . . but . . . you mean it wasn't a mass drone launch from Atlantis' Pacific Base to anihilate an incoming Wraith invasion?

    hmph.

    WV: symonces - symon ces something's fishy in Denmark about that whole 'airliner' story.

    BoxStockRacer

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  16. I just found the US Airforces Aircraft Identification Chart:

    http://lyoness.com/TidBits/fun/us-airforce-aircraft-identification-chart/

    Really clears things up a bit.

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  17. According to The People's Cube

    Soros escape pod seen over Los Angeles; clueless Pentagon denies 'action by U.S. adversary,' searches ocean bed for hatches and trap doors

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  18. But, what if this is a cohort of that Chinese army officer writing books about how China needs to whup the tar out of the US, to put China in it's rightful (world domination) role?

    What if this is a Chinese sub practicing for the return of Air Force Convoy 1 from The Junket To End All Junkets? (Sending the First Lady to talk to sex workers for Veterans Day. Oops, lots of support for the "United States as we used to know it.")

    Just think how many media and government types could be at risk!

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