Books. Bikes. Boomsticks.
“I only regret that I have but one face to palm for my country.”
Monday, April 04, 2011
'Cause I'm all scientific and stuff...
I'd like to propose a quick test: I'll burn a Bible, a Koran, a copy of Chevy Power magazine, a Talmud, a U.S. flag, a Book of Mormon, and a Lakers jersey. We'll see how many UN aid workers each one kills. .
My money's on the Lakers jersey. Nothing riles up the masses like dissing a ball team. Next thing you know, there'll be white french trucks burning in Riverside, with blue helmets scattered along Rodeo Drive.
Well, if recent events serve as evidence, burning a Dodgers jersey is likely to elicit a similar response as the Quran. (although prolly not of the same magnitude and definitely not with as much headline-grabbing media fanfare)
Don't take it out on the poor bastard in fatigues. He's just going where his chain of command sends him. If you're going to chuck anybody off the Empire State Building make it one of the suits sitting in the council chamber that sends those poor schmucks out.
And make sure you've got enough oompf behind your throw. They've got fences to stop that sorta thing.
With regard to to the Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy at New York, my previous proposal: to wit, that we hotwire USS Intrepid, joyride it around a little, then anchor off Turtle Bay and use the catapults to fire old toilets through the windows at the UN...
My money's on the Mormons to go all Mountain Meadows Massacree on you.
Well, given that the famous all-riled-up quote from the greatest military leader in the Book of Mormon is, "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children", I reckon the Mormons will probably just pray for you. And leave a bunch of zuccini on your porch.
I had IRA guys using the religion & freedom bulls**t to try and off my entire field trip class back in the late 70s & early 80s (yes, we went on more than one field trip to London, and the IRA hit the parks with the kids) with nail bombs. Muslims don't have the patent on terrorism. They're just the flavor of the month. How about those riots over the VCU games? It all seems rather stupid to me.
To be fair the IRA is like a more competent version of the Weathermen (I myself was surprised at how lefty they were when I started looking into it, not that the "totally unbiased, we swear" media is gonna be pointing that out anytime soon) and the commies were into the whole domestic terrorism thing back when the Muslims were still focused on tribal warfare (well, more focused than they are now anyway).
PS Burn as many Bibles as you want, just don't mess with the manga and anime; those guys have swords.
My money's on the Lakers jersey. Nothing riles up the masses like dissing a ball team. Next thing you know, there'll be white french trucks burning in Riverside, with blue helmets scattered along Rodeo Drive.
ReplyDeleteAS long as you don't burn the grits.
ReplyDeleteBurn a Laker's jersey out here in L.A. and Da Boyz from Da Hood will pop a cap in yo azz!
ReplyDeleteBurn that Chevy Power mag, and I'll be pissed! ;-)
ReplyDeleteBurn a Kimber catalog and see what you get.
ReplyDelete"Burn a Kimber catalog and see what you get."
ReplyDeleteA crappy fire which reeks of MIM, mediocrity and gun rag grifting?
Shootin' Buddy
I know the answer due to empirical evidence, but I applaud the experiment! You are going to include blue helmets instead of Stetsons, right?
ReplyDeleteOh, to be fair you need to include Mustang Monthly and MOPAR power publications!
ReplyDeleteHow about a copy of any of Obama's autobiographies?
ReplyDeleteYankees jersey please!
ReplyDeleteGerry
Well, if recent events serve as evidence, burning a Dodgers jersey is likely to elicit a similar response as the Quran. (although prolly not of the same magnitude and definitely not with as much headline-grabbing media fanfare)
ReplyDeleteBurning a copy of the holy writ is unacceptable! Chevy Power forever! (At least you didn't threaten to burn an EMPI catalog!)
ReplyDeleteYou'll notice she didn't say anything about burning a John Moses Browning's biography, or a magazine about Colt 1911s.
ReplyDelete'Tis the TRUE holy writ, after all. ;)
Oh come on, everyone knows those Godbag Christofascists are the real danger, even though, to date, it's the Muslims that have been doing the killing.
ReplyDeleteIslam: Not ready for the 19th Century yet.....and here we are in the 21st. Gonna take a lot of Koran burning to get out Muslim brothers up to speed.
ReplyDelete@Robert Langham: May I suggest: Islam--not ready for the 16th century yet.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin', that's all...
cap'n chumbucket
16th century?
ReplyDeleteYou're being very generous....
Q: If you drop a bag of manure and a UN Peacekeeper off the Empire State Building, which will hit the ground first?
ReplyDeleteA: Who cares?
Now, now, rickn8or, just because they're as useless as mammary glands on a male porcine mammal doesn't mean they're bad people.
ReplyDeleterickn8or,
ReplyDeleteDon't take it out on the poor bastard in fatigues. He's just going where his chain of command sends him. If you're going to chuck anybody off the Empire State Building make it one of the suits sitting in the council chamber that sends those poor schmucks out.
And make sure you've got enough oompf behind your throw. They've got fences to stop that sorta thing.
BGM.
WV: disme
"disme? " "Oh yeah, disme."
Brothers?
ReplyDeleteTam, we Mormons will shake our heads at you, then ask if you want another BoM to help you learn your ways. ;)
ReplyDeleteDon't know about burning stuff here getting UN grunts killed...
ReplyDeletebut burning through a couple trillion US $ there has certainly got a whole generation of our kids killed.
AT
wv: shnuk...yes, we apparently are a bunch of shnuks.
Dungeon Master's Guide?
ReplyDeleteYou left out The Handbook of Chemistry and Physics.
ReplyDeleteWith regard to to the Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy at New York, my previous proposal: to wit, that we hotwire USS Intrepid, joyride it around a little, then anchor off Turtle Bay and use the catapults to fire old toilets through the windows at the UN...
ReplyDelete...is herewith reintroduced.
Only if the toilets are full!
ReplyDeleteIf you're going to set fire to Chevy Power magazines... I'll get you a subscription ;-)
ReplyDeleteReally, set whatever book you want on fire, the chances of a book being unique in the classic sense of the word is pretty well zero.
Jim
Ho-kaaay--
ReplyDeleteQ: If you drop a bag of manure and a UN DIPLOMAT off the Empire State Building, which will hit the ground first?
A: Who cares?
Better??
as a ford owner, can i light the Chevy Power magazine(clip(sorry i could not help my self)).
ReplyDeletePlease!
I will bring Bacon!
The last christian witch-burning was by a bunch of Calvinist fanatics in Scotland in 1790.
ReplyDeleteSo you now have an exact date for how civilization-ally retarded Islam is.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object/article?f=/c/a/2008/03/16/DDB5VH7LM.DTL
ReplyDeleteI will note that this shitbag melted and hammered flat an M1911A1, the holy talisman of both the Church of JMB, but also the Cult of the Crufflers.
He still has his head firmly attached...although it was never screwed on tight.
Toss an HK on the fire, and hordes of fat teenaged airsofters and videogame players will mobilize to pnish the heretics.
ReplyDeleteHAH! :D
ReplyDeleteTam,
ReplyDeleteDo you not remember the riots and beheading caused by the military burning Bibles in 2009???
http://edition.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/asiapcf/05/20/us.military.bibles.burned/index.html
Oh, that's right.
My money's on the Mormons to go all Mountain Meadows Massacree on you.
ReplyDeleteWell, given that the famous all-riled-up quote from the greatest military leader in the Book of Mormon is, "In memory of our God, our religion, and freedom, and our peace, our wives, and our children", I reckon the Mormons will probably just pray for you. And leave a bunch of zuccini on your porch.
I had IRA guys using the religion & freedom bulls**t to try and off my entire field trip class back in the late 70s & early 80s (yes, we went on more than one field trip to London, and the IRA hit the parks with the kids) with nail bombs. Muslims don't have the patent on terrorism. They're just the flavor of the month. How about those riots over the VCU games? It all seems rather stupid to me.
ReplyDeleteCan we throw in a copy of the Glock Annual too? Please?
ReplyDeleteTo be fair the IRA is like a more competent version of the Weathermen (I myself was surprised at how lefty they were when I started looking into it, not that the "totally unbiased, we swear" media is gonna be pointing that out anytime soon) and the commies were into the whole domestic terrorism thing back when the Muslims were still focused on tribal warfare (well, more focused than they are now anyway).
ReplyDeletePS Burn as many Bibles as you want, just don't mess with the manga and anime; those guys have swords.
"...just don't mess with the manga and anime; those guys have swords"
ReplyDeleteYeah. Crappy ones that they bought off the Knife Shopping Network or someplace similar.
True, but they're also crazy.
ReplyDeleteDrjim,
ReplyDeleteThe toilets will become full as soon as they hit the UN.