Friday, April 22, 2011

It's not _______ when we do it!

Sexism is bad, h'mkay? Go to any good Progressive website and you will find out that Conservatives are so ate up with sexism that they have actually declared a "war on women". (Seriously. I'm not kidding. Apparently you Conservatives only vote for us because you hate us or something. Anyhow...)

Further, anybody well-versed with feminism can tell you that a very basic tenet thereof is that assigning "genders" to things like jobs or hobbies is bad and wrong: One should no more need to describe someone as a "male nurse" than as a "female doctor". Gender Mainstreaming is practically the cultural norm in the demographic that makes up the Media Class today.

Unless, of course, you're talking about guns. Or facials. Then all the nicey-nice of egalitarianism is off the table and it is on like Donkey Kong, sister.

I was gonna rip this guy a new one, but after the virtual curb-stompings he took here, here, here, and here, I really don't have the heart.

Hey, Eric? You just got your ass kicked by a girl.

Now he's running around various comments sections, writing things along the lines of "Gosh, you people are just too dumb to understand satire."

Of course. If I were Eric Heyl, I’d be all butthurt, too.

Imagine getting made fun of by so many people who were so much funnier than you when your entire self worth thus far has largely been tied up in being the funniest guy at the Mudville Picayune office Christmas party…

Five gets you ten they find him in the mop closet at the office, hanged by his keyboard cable, with a tear-stained, Liquid Paper-smudged suicide note pinned to his sweater-vest.
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27 comments:

  1. "Hey, Eric? You just got your ass kicked by a girl."

    That's ok, he didn't strike me as much of a man anyway.

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  2. I guess he missed the Florida beauty queen who popped a perp with her pink pistol.

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  3. Amazing alliteration! Attaboy! :D

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  4. Oh, Tam. You and the other 'little women' are just upset that you spent all your money on buying guns and ammo and now you don't have enough to go to the spa....


    *Ducks and runs for cover*

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  5. I'm tempted to email the article to my neighbor who teaches about (no joke) gender bias and racial issues at the local university. She has a PHd in the field. Really and lives across the road from me. The gods must be laughing.

    Our last mailbox discussion was if a Glock 19 or and M&P 9 was a better pistol for her daughter.

    Gerry

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  6. Eric must not read gunblogs written by women. Who are better writers than he is, by the way. And more interesting.

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  7. And all the Progs will take away from Eric's beat down by a girl is that there must be a dearth of nail and hair salons where they live or they would never have had time to do so.

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  8. @Tam - The coup de grĂ¢ce of the post is the last paragraph and the sweater vest. That is just classic. Excuse me while I clean up my workspace as I snorted out water.

    -SouthpawByNW

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  9. Some of us are starting a Pool on how long it takes for Breda to hunt this Heyl Person down next weekend at the Gunnie Prom and Gun Show and explain how REAL Women Roll, and how many pieces will be left. Want in?

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  10. My wife's response to the d-bag was pretty funny, especially at the end when all I could say was, "I wish."

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  11. Is that really his picture on the page that carries the article? Or did the webmaster accidentally cross-post a picture from the Police Blotter column?

    If it's the former, there's your answer. He looks like the brother you never hear Ned Flanders talking much about.

    gvi

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  12. And in a tangentially related news story, a not even slightly racist beatdown was delivered unto a white woman in a McDonalds by 2 black women, while others helpfully film the proceedings.She coulda used ANYTHING AT ALL instead of her hands. or some real assistance of any kind.

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  13. on like Donkey Kong

    Read that just as the words were sung in Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.

    That means something, I'm just not sure what.

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  14. OK, this was pretty good but "liquid-paper ..."

    That was mean.

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  15. Tam,

    Um, "Five gets you ten they find him in the mop closet at the office, hanged by his keyboard cable, with a tear-stained, Liquid Paper-smudged suicide note pinned to his sweater-vest."

    I doubt this would happen in an American office. Liquid Paper has been banned as being a toxic chemical. 15 years ago secretaries were signing affidavits for the company not to stock, supply, order, or use toxic chemicals, including Liquid Paper. At the time I was working for a big defense contractor.

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  16. Honestly, I can't be mad at the guy. It's so obvious he thought he was being funny that I find his ignorance (on all fronts) to be more sad than anything. I mean, sure, the guy's an elitist asshole, but I find myself shaking my head and saying, "Aw, poor guy. He's trying so hard."

    Something tells me that would have more impact on him than anger (although the beatdowns have been hilarious).

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  17. Is it any wonder that someone who gets his jollies by attacking women, not-really-"satire" or not, would also lack the balls to take ownership of his words?

    Dude is pretty pathetic, no matter how you look at it...

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  18. For Brad K: http://tinyurl.com/3ntw6ve (sfw).

    That whistling noise somewhere up n'yah would be the joke.

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  19. Such a sad little man.....I wonder if he still has to use chloroform to get near a girl?

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  20. I find it hilarious he's falling back to the shopworn "You don't understand my Art" excuse used by terrible artist, tone deaf singers, and unfunny commedians world wide.

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  21. Well, at least he didn't trigger any trepidation :)...makes you wonder if he has any idea what that word really means.

    And the fact that he apparently thought the trigger and target references clever pretty much set the tone for the feeble, pathetic, and horribly embarrassing comedic attempt at the end.

    So if he has no grasp of humor, certainly it's easy to understand his having none for sweet, slippery irony.

    Funny, though; he actually did a pretty good job of highlighting some real facts and trends...though not the ones he wanted to:

    "...before more women start attending the NRA convention, more of them will have to be armed..."

    and:

    "...gun sales to females increased significantly in recent years, Piendl said, (and) sales to women remain the largest untapped growth market in the industry."

    Now there's a win-win opportunity right there, Eric.

    And hey, thanks for um, triggering this little firestorm; I'll bet you inspired a good bit of tapping of that growth market right there in your clueless little column.

    AT

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  22. Tam, I suspect that if you held back, more of the female blogosphere could earn their spurs.

    Possibly you could milden up that Hawt but Harsh rep you got!

    Of course my female friend suggested gello shots to both ease the pain, and provide lubrication to ease the removal of his orally inserted foot from his large intestinal regions.

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  23. Ah, I wrote to the gun store/range, which I was pleased to see close to where I once lived, and asked about those strange comments and Eric. Tug on the chain and see if anything comes out snarling, darling..

    wv poism - yeah, it means what you think

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  24. Once again the liberal elite gets caught out and frantically tries to backpedal... Satire my ass...

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  25. Old NFO,

    While your sentiment is correct, I think it may be stretching to call a columnist at Pittsburgh's second place puppy trainer a member of the "elite". ;)

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  26. Tam,

    Pitched your blog (and Breda's and some others) and gave him a Texas nut-cuttin' at the same time.

    I read some of his other columns. Weird guy. Just a turd-stirrer.

    Regards,

    --AOA

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  27. Ooops.

    Here it is: Eric Heyl--another anti-gun, sexist pissant reporter

    Too early this morning and was too long of a night. . .

    --AOA

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