I dreamed that I was going to take a two-day pistol class from Todd G. The cool thing about the class was that the range was located at a huge amusement park that was nothing but roller coasters, with a replica of every great roller coaster ever; like a roller coaster hall of fame... So I showed up two days early and spent a couple days riding the most awesome roller coasters. (This was a long, or at least long-seeming, dream.)
The first morning of the class starts out with a safety talk and whatnot, and I'm having trouble getting all my crap out of my range bag: hearing protection, a couple of extra mag carriers... I was shooting a Glock, for some reason... Probably because I've been thinking about getting a G19. And I can't find my ammo can; I'm thinking that maybe I left it in the car?
Anyhow, for whatever reason, I was standing there holstering up when the first string of shooters was stepping up to the line, which is decidedly not cool. And this guy pulls Todd aside and is talking to him and glancing at me, so I walk over and say "Hey, if he thinks I just pulled a safety violation, muzzled somebody or whatever, and he's not cool with me shooting on the same range as him, that's okay. I understand. I can put my stuff away and just watch. Or, you know, go ride roller coasters some more."
So, yeah, I DQ'ed myself for a possible safety violation in my dream last night rather than argue with some imaginary dude in my dream.
Very sensible, you can't beat that imaginary logic from the imaginary dude.
ReplyDeleteAt least that's what John McCain found out.
It must have been the right thing to do, because I woke up with that smugly self-satisfied feeling that Boy Scouts must get when they've just helped a little old lady across the street.
ReplyDeleteAlso, roller coasters.
Wow--when you and Brigid hang out, the party just keeps on going, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm. Perhaps your Subconscious is mixing together Cedar Point with Camp Perry? They're not that far from each other, you know. Also, I'd head to your local Ye Olde Arms Shoppe and fondle a Glock or two, and see if that triggers anything. Ooops! You're time's up. Same time next week? Oh, and make sure the Receptionist validates your Parking before you leave. Next Patient, please. ; )
ReplyDeleteA Glock?!? Really??!?
ReplyDeleteSomehow I thought this post would end up with shambling reactive Zombie targets like in Zombieland.
ReplyDeleteUh-oh, now you did it Tam, you mentioned that you were thinking of getting a Glock! This should be fun to watch!
ReplyDeleteIt would hardly be her first.
ReplyDeleteWe hang our editorial heads in shame, and pray that the ghosts of Elmer Keith and John D. "Jeff" Cooper do not scorn us, for we have also recently purchased a G19.
ReplyDeleteWe firmly maintain that we have not succumbed to the curse of becoming Glock fanbois, and our respect for the 1911, Grand Puissance and assorted revolvers (primarily Colt D and E frames) remains undiminished. "More elegant weapons, from a more civilized age," to paraphrase some Jedi.
However, as a package the G19 offers a lot: a lightweight 9mm bullet thrower with more history behind it than other modern competitors (SR9, XD, m&p*, etc.).
We are aware that Ed Foster will not be amused.
* We express our disdain for S&W's heretical use of the Military & Police label for modern products by refusing to capitalize the abbreviation. A M&P is, of course, a K-frame .38 Special.
Tam,
ReplyDeleteYou forgot the ammo can, scramble to pull the needed equipment from the range bag, holstering up with suspect safety awareness -- these are all minor variations on the "showed up for the big test and found I was nekkid" dream, that is, you felt unprepared.
You are each of the folk in your dream, thus the shooter that notices your lack of practice/lack of preparedness is you, being aware that you feel unprepared.
The instructor that hears the report of concern, that is the concept of authority, again you being aware of feeling unprepared.
You choose to blow off the class rather than answer any challenge or defend yourself, for two reasons. Once is that, again, you feel unprepared, and the other is -- the roller coasters are more exciting.
Yes, you enjoyed the ups and downs, the whoops! and hollers, the adventure of the roller coasters.
To sum it up; you feel taking the shooting, the practice and study, is an important opportunity, but still, for today, would rather have excitement and fun. You feel guilty about not keeping in practice on the range, thus the clumsiness unpacking the range bag, the possible lapse of attention to safety, the blowing off the opportunity to study, work, and learn.
This is summer. Enjoy the bike ride (the bumps and bounces and swoops), the fun days. Budget time for the range well, though, to maintain the safety and skills that you expect of yourself.
Enjoy!
Um, are you sure that the targets for the range weren't from Zombies 'n Coasters R Us?
Or . . maybe you just really wanted to ride the coasters some more.
ReplyDelete"... I was shooting a Glock, for some reason... Probably because I've been thinking about getting a G19."
ReplyDeleteIs Practical Tam beating up Old Guns Tam of late?
Tam has told stories about how, ages ago, when dirt was young and rocks were soft, she was a big Glock FanGrrrl. I bet she has owned and sold, bought another and sold, etc. more Glocks for personal use than I own pistols, total. Well, almost.
ReplyDeleteit was a dream. Just shoot the offended party, and move on. That's what dreams are for, to do the things you can't do otherwise.
ReplyDeleteThe body would be a good obstacle. And no, I don't care if the offended party was me, if you're dreaming, shoot first.
If I didn't have the ability to randomly shoot people in my dreams,I'd... well, let's just hope that never happens.
Y'all been drinkin that hard cider I hid under the front porch girl? And I thought I had strange dreams.
ReplyDeleteI did dream I won a hundred million playin lotto. kinda wish that one would hurry up and come true.
ReplyDeleteUm, Bob B.? Sorry - that was $1,000 dollars lottery prize, and it went to someone else.
ReplyDeleteBut your dream did come true for someone, so that is something to be glad about!
Tam you need to try my G 26. It doesn't give up much even to my 17L in rapid fire.
ReplyDeleteI'm assuming you are keeping your primary 1911s, so the G26 is more of a jack of all trades.
IIRC didn't you have a fully Aro-teked Glock???
Sometimes a banana is just a banana. Maybe you just wanted more of that bitchin' roller coaster action and Glock doesn't make a roller coaster so you had to find a way out of the Glock-compromise and that also feels Scoutly. Actually helping an old lady across the street isn't THAT smugifying - from what I remember I'da rather help some hot MILF.
ReplyDeleteNext time just kill the offended with your mind.
ReplyDeleteTwo by two, hands of blue ...
Well Brad I would take the thousand. I could have some fun with that. none of the big money jackpots are that high yet, so.... we'll just have to see. besides I've made 3 dollars in the last month, and Brad... when you hear about some fat guy in Cali winnin a hundred mill. Don't look me up, you and your negative attitude aren't getttin squat.......
ReplyDeleteDoes the subject line allude to sequels?
ReplyDeleteFortunately it was just a dream, so you don't REALLY have to get a Glock.
I wonder what it would be like to shoot while riding in a roller coaster?
ReplyDelete*sigh* There were zombies in the dream, right?
ReplyDeleteDid you watch your movie again recently?
Shootin' Buddy
Tam,
ReplyDeleteCan you shoot targets and zombies while riding the roller-coasters in your dream?
Dann in Ohio
Interesting dream... At least you weren't trying to shoot somebody.
ReplyDelete@ John Stevens,
ReplyDelete"I wonder what it would be like to shoot while riding in a roller coaster?"
I wonder what a Glock brand roller coaster would be like.
Boring, utterly medium, without a sigle risk except the one time in 10000 that it explodes on its way down the hill.
ReplyDeleteBetter than the only gun dreams I have, where the thing weighs half a ton, the trigger pull is at least twice that, and at least half the rounds are duds.
ReplyDeleteChicks dream about me and roller coasters... and it ends up being a gun safety thing. So unfair.
ReplyDeleteGimme an addy. I've got your 19 with 3 mags ready to go.
ReplyDelete