“There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men.” ― Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers
And if he's in Europe, he probably just committed a bunch of felonies. Actually, probably some places in the USA too. Might be best to avoid those places.
All that time spent making projectile weapons and taping things together? Most likely you wouldn't have that. Most of the things he had on the table and lots of others in a typical office are already weapons. The ability to recognize them and the skills to use them is what's needed.
Improvised weapons are EVERYWHERE. That is one of the (many) reasons why the TSA taking away people's fingernail clippers is such an idiotic idea. As far as I know, they still allow pencils and ink pens. It is FAR easier to kill someone with a writing instrument than some shoddy ol' fingernail clippers.
We have a no weapons policy where I work, complete with one of those red circle signs with a silhouette o a Bowie knife and a Beretta 92 in it (side note - I asked one of the security guards if it meant "No weapons beginning with the letter B")
Our head of security made a really big deal out of telling us that knives of any kind will result in termination, even a little pen knife, but if you are having a potluck it's OK to bring a 12" chefs knife in because, you know, it's a potluck
I'm right there with Mostly Cajun, except that the mop handle is the superior weapon. A bit long for indoors, but if you break it in half, you've got two pointed sticks that also make mean (very mean) clubs.
Given that my "office" is an aging Ford patrol car, I find myself thinking humorously, "If you unscrew the barrel from that 870 up there in the rack, it makes a pretty mean club that you could really mess somebody up with, you know?" Oh. Wait a second...
I'm getting towards the age where a walking cane would not draw any attention. And I do have osteoarthritis so even if it will take years before I will actually need that cane for real I'm kind of planning on buying one in the near future anyway, especially since while I can still walk fine with that osteoarthritis running is not exactly easy any more. Carrying something which could be used for a club is starting to seem like a good idea.
And I have gotten some practice with using a longsword so...
Yeah, a gun would be better, but I live in Finland. Nothing like carry permits here. You can use a handgun on the range (a bit more leeway for hunters) and transport it in a gun case, but that's about it.
“There are no dangerous weapons; there are only dangerous men.”
ReplyDelete― Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers
And if he's in Europe, he probably just committed a bunch of felonies. Actually, probably some places in the USA too. Might be best to avoid those places.
This is going to go viral with grade school boys.
ReplyDeleteToday, I get that raise.
ReplyDeleteAll that time spent making projectile weapons and taping things together? Most likely you wouldn't have that. Most of the things he had on the table and lots of others in a typical office are already weapons. The ability to recognize them and the skills to use them is what's needed.
ReplyDeleteASM826,
ReplyDeleteI don't think this was meant to be an instructional video of what to do if your office is invaded by ninjas or anything.
Improvised weapons are EVERYWHERE. That is one of the (many) reasons why the TSA taking away people's fingernail clippers is such an idiotic idea. As far as I know, they still allow pencils and ink pens. It is FAR easier to kill someone with a writing instrument than some shoddy ol' fingernail clippers.
ReplyDeletes
I'm sending this to everyone at work. They already call me Ron Swanson (I even have a Claymore hitch cover). This will seal it.
ReplyDeleteI guess I missed the episode where McGyver ever slept with a Stasi agent. I hope he paid child support.
ReplyDeleteGerry
Well, one has to SOMETHING if the Zombie Apocalypse ever hits your Office, right?
ReplyDeleteOf course, this knowledge is useless against Werewolves. Just ask Larry Corriea.
This guy's youtube stuff is hilarious, you might note he's almost constantly smiling, it's all in good fun.
ReplyDeleteOur office is already overrun by ninjas. Stealthy ninjas. Their primary attack seems to be to move worker's files around so they can't find them.
ReplyDeleteWe have a no weapons policy where I work, complete with one of those red circle signs with a silhouette o a Bowie knife and a Beretta 92 in it (side note - I asked one of the security guards if it meant "No weapons beginning with the letter B")
ReplyDeleteOur head of security made a really big deal out of telling us that knives of any kind will result in termination, even a little pen knife, but if you are having a potluck it's OK to bring a 12" chefs knife in because, you know, it's a potluck
I'm thinking that the handle from the janitor's broom is gonna trump most of that stuff. Pointed stick, you know...
ReplyDeleteMC
I'm right there with Mostly Cajun, except that the mop handle is the superior weapon. A bit long for indoors, but if you break it in half, you've got two pointed sticks that also make mean (very mean) clubs.
ReplyDeleteGiven that my "office" is an aging Ford patrol car, I find myself thinking humorously, "If you unscrew the barrel from that 870 up there in the rack, it makes a pretty mean club that you could really mess somebody up with, you know?" Oh. Wait a second...
I'm getting towards the age where a walking cane would not draw any attention. And I do have osteoarthritis so even if it will take years before I will actually need that cane for real I'm kind of planning on buying one in the near future anyway,
ReplyDeleteespecially since while I can still walk fine with that osteoarthritis running is not exactly easy any more. Carrying something which could be used for a club is starting to seem like a good idea.
And I have gotten some practice with using a longsword so...
Yeah, a gun would be better, but I live in Finland. Nothing like carry permits here. You can use a handgun on the range (a bit more leeway for hunters) and transport it in a gun case, but that's about it.
More stuff for TSA to look for.
ReplyDeleteNekid and handcuffed: the only way to fly