I got to wondering, as embarrassing as it is for passengers, how must a TSA agent feel to have to grope the smelly crotch of some dude who hasn’t bathed in over a week....was "I know, right? I mean, as bad as it was for the Jews in eastern Europe, what about the poor Einsatzgruppen? They probably had blisters on their trigger fingers by the end of the day!"
Seriously, you're failing to engage my sympathy by telling me what a humiliating drudgery it is to violate the hell out of my rights.
Times sure are tough.
ReplyDeleteI mean, just the other day I was raping this puppy and it clawed me with it's back feet, right on my inner thigh. Now I have an infection and the puppy keeps claiming that he's the victim.
Those bastards almost make it worth it for me to grow a good crop of crabs before I board my flight...almost.
ReplyDeleteCrabs are more trouble to get rid of than a decent case of three-day-crotch-rot.
ReplyDeleteHarder to, um, 'detect' too. Not quite as 'in your face' obvious (especially if yer wearing a kilt! ;) )
Just... go here.
ReplyDeleteBecause I simply cannot top the comments there, and it's as apropos as it gets.
Where is there a Michael Hawkins to start an epic comment thread when you need one?
ReplyDeleteRobb Allen, you beat me to it.
And I refer readers of that thread to comment 90 therein, where Mr. Hawkins takes, if not exactly a bow, at least a well deserved wave at the crowd.
That comment thread is full of win.
ReplyDeleteI believe I referred to it as "The best comment thread the internet has ever seen." :D
ReplyDeleteHunh. I read that same line the other day, and my reaction was just to laugh. I figured he was just being funny.
ReplyDeleteHe was!
DeleteThanks for sharing my toon here. Maybe this TSA toon I did would be more to the liking of this audience haha http://beartoons.com/2010/11/21/editorial-cartoon-tsa-pat-downs/
perlhaqr,
ReplyDelete"I figured he was just being funny."
God, I hope so.
(Although I have actually felt sorry for a TSA agent before, too. There was a guy at IND who was trying to be all cheerful and joke-y while I was loitering in the security zone to see if they wanted to check my guns or not.
He noticed me sitting there, and piped up with "Hey, guys, I promised this young lady she could fly on an airplane today! Let's not make her late!" in that tone of voice that goofy uncles use when trying to cheer you up by chucking you on the shoulder.
"You poor bastard," I thought to myself, "Trying to be human in a job that is fundamentally inhuman, and you just don't seem bright enough to wrap your head around it. I bet you really think you're making the world a safer place, too.")
Guy I know who works at a fairly high level at IND (but not in TSA) told me not long ago that IND does not tolerate assholish behavior from TSA. And I've noted the times I've flown that while IND TSA are not always the friendliest people on earth (especially at 0-dark-30 when they haven't quite woken up), they don't generally tend to mess with you.
ReplyDeleteYMMV of course; I only fly a couple of times a year and try to avoid it even then. But my wife, who flies quite a bit, has never been bothered, at IND or anywhere else. (She flies out of RSW a lot, and RSW seems to get a lot of TSA complaints. All those blue-haired grannies I guess.)
New TSA slogan:
ReplyDeletehttp://middleoftheright.blogspot.com/2012/06/suggestion-for-tsa-work-slogan.html
"Keep your eye on the balls"
A mosquito bite irritates me, then irritates me again. I mean, the bite itches. And it itches, too, because I know that only female mosquitoes bite, and that they require the blood of mammals, including people, to fertilize their eggs. So not only am I getting bit, I am contributing to the robust population of the next generation of mosquitoes.
ReplyDeleteSo, tax money pays the salaries of TSA, right? *slap*
January Statistics On Airport Screening From The Department Of Homeland Security:
ReplyDeleteTerrorists Discovered
0
Transvestites
133
Hernias
1,485
Hemorrhoid Cases
3,172
Enlarged Prostates
8,249
Breast Implants
59,350
Natural Blondes
3
It was also discovered that 535 congressional representatives had no balls
Stolen From Rodger TRKOF
What would the TSA agent groping this odd fellow think? http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/asexual-mao-sugiyama-cooks-serves-own-genitals_n_1543307.html
ReplyDeleteThey grab for his crotch to supposedly check for unauthorized extra stuff and come up with nothing instead?
The TSA can lave my nethers with their tongues ... and neglect no the taint.
ReplyDeleteI normally invoke student/teacher privacy in the Concealed Carry classes. I will broach it here.
ReplyDeleteI fear that these people, so drunk on so little power they have in the polyester uniform bolstered with limited views on what is really going on boggles the mind.
And they relish it. She actually asked to take a picture of my Surefire E2D flashlight. "OMG, that could be a weapon, I must show it to my superiors". Well of course it could, why do you think I am showing it to you?
Sadly, after an eight hour class, I could not refrain from being uh, less than professional. Know what? The verbal softballs I threw all day did not stop her one bit.
This is the problem. I tried to fix it. She is made of Teflon. Smart simply does not stick.
As long as we have these people making slightly more than minimum wage, we have a problem.
As long as we have these people , we have a problem.
ReplyDeleteFixed it for you