I am not kidding you: I dreamed imaginary internet drama last night. Internet Friend A had produced some sort of YouTube video that Internet Friend B and their friends all started making fun of. When I defended the video by pointing out that the perceived problem was one of camera angles and the way the video was shot, then Friend A jumped my $#!+ for running down their production values after they'd spent a bunch of money on a nice camera and some video editing software.
So then I went to eat greasy fried fair food with my ex- in an open-air restaurant under an awning in a park in a half-submerged, half-abandoned town on a small island, full of neat early 20th Century architecture. Like a lush, 3/8ths scale Detroit and New Orleans had a baby. You know, as one does in dreams.
Folks, when
imaginary internet drama shows up in a dream, it's time to start
thinking about hanging up the keyboard, or at least taking an internet
sabbatical.
When one is more worried about avoiding the Legion
of the Easily Aggrieved and their Outrage Crusade Du Jour than one is
about writing and linking to what makes one laugh, it sucks the fun out
of this like a shop vac in a Dixie Cup.
If your first thought
was "She's talking about me!" then I probably am. If your first thought
was "She's talking about *INSERT YOUR PET INTERNET FOE HERE*!" then, no,
I was almost definitely talking about you.
There are people I like as people that I find exhausting to interface with because talking to them is like fumbling around blindfolded in a dark closet with button-lined walls: You never know when you're going to hit a button, and I'm bad enough at social interaction cues when I can see people. Conversing with people entirely via text is, for me, like crawling on my belly through a minefield, probing for a safe path through buried sensitive issues with a fork, never knowing when I'm going to set one off.
I suppose that is the danger of writing for income. I yap to hear myself yap, and it has no fiscal downside for me. You have to be careful and I bet it sucks.
ReplyDeletelolwut?
ReplyDeleteThis blog isn't "income", it's beer money.
I try not to hurt friends' feelings on my blog because I don't like to hurt the feelings of friends, Og.
I don't "have to" be careful, I'm careful because I still have some manners and goddam decorum.
It took me some time to come to the conclusion that dealing with internet people, even personal friends is a bit like watching and enjoying wildlife.
ReplyDeleteYou want to be cautious because there is not much that you can do to change their behavior and there is no sense in feeding them since that just upsets the balance of things.
I was so naive at one time that I thought I could bring information to light that would be accepted and appreciated since I had such vast knowledge about so many different subjects.
I sure was wrong about that and some species of critters that tilt to left are like hungry momma bears, not gender specific, with PMS looking for a chance to chew on the livers of those who don't share the same enlightenment.
So now I know that there is an invisible sign posted that says Do Not Feed the Wild Animals and Do Not Pester or Poke Them because they can and will try to kill you when trying to present a different point of view, especially when presented with facts.
I can rest assured that wasn't about me. Mostly because I do not contain enough hubris to even consider that I am important in most people's lives to warrant being insinuated into their nighttime mental activities.
ReplyDeleteThat, and about the only drama people get out of me is when I discuss Open Carry.
But dreams are a funny thing. I dreamed last night I was trapped in a room with a bunch of puzzles that had to be solved to unlock the door. One puzzle involved a large spider (I have slight arachnophobia) and the others involved writing a lot of Javascript - my two main foes in life.
You write for income. You have a large presence on the internet and readers don't see "paid Tam" and "free Tam", they just see Tam, wherever you write. So, decorum. If I had to be civil to everyone in case it affected my book/magazine/ whatever sales, that would suck for me. YMMV.
ReplyDeleteFine, Og, if it makes you happy to think that has something to do with it, you go on thinking that.
ReplyDeleteOK. I'm glad your manners and goddamn decorum told you that it was appropriate to start your day being condescending and snippy to someone who took the time to say "yeah, I think I understand" on a post where your stated point was about not harming friends feelings. That don't confront me, because I love you no matter what. That's my personal litmus test for friendship. Again, YMMV.
ReplyDeleteWell actually I started my day by telling somebody that their supposition about my feelings and motivations was incorrect, and then they explained that I was wrong about my motivations and feelings and went on to explain my motives and feelings to me, so I got snippy and condescending and they got butthurt.
ReplyDeleteBut thank you for illustrating my point. :)
Let me know who that person was, by all means. Certainly nothing I wrote was written with that intent, so if that's what you read, my comm skills are ludicrously poor.
ReplyDeleteStill, the irony.of the interchange is refreshing.
ReplyDeletePut it down to SAD effect, now diminshing.
Calendar says so.
Think of bacon, and carry on.
Net without Tam?
Unpossible.
Back and forth between Tam and Og: Is that some sort of "street" theater to illustrate Tam's original point?
ReplyDelete"'Dammit, Speaker to Aspies, don't f*****g interrupt me while I'm listening to you!' he said, without apparent irony."
ReplyDeleteMaybe let this one quietly languish in moderation...
Not intentionally, I wouldn't harm Tam on a bet. Which was why everything I wrote was (at least intended) to reflect what my feelings would be in a similar situation.
ReplyDeleteI am all ceremonially butthurt. It seems to be what all the rage these days? Even if it's not about me, then I'll be offended that it's *not* about me. Be patient with me, I'm still trying to figure all this out.
ReplyDeleteHell, I'd even be tactically offended, but I don't know how to wrap the paracord around my feewings.
(disclaimer: previous two paragraphs are amateur snark, some errors in translation may occur)
And, Tam.... you remember dreams? I either don't dream, or never remember 'em if I do.
Seems to be saving me some turmoil, anyway.
Happy Friday to you!
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Jim, Tam appears to be very blessed at being able to remember dreams.
ReplyDeleteI rarely do but when I do they're odd.
In the most recent one I remember agent Sky (from the Agents of SHIELD tv show) gave me and my wife free tickets to a Christian concert coming up locally so we could attend with her and agent Ward.
Boy, I post one comment and the entire internet blows up.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, you can't hurt my feelings, the ex-wife took them all.
Boy, I post one comment and the entire internet blows up.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, you can't hurt my feelings, the ex-wife took them all.
"Maybe let this one quietly languish in moderation..."
ReplyDeleteIt was too perfect to not publish. :)
All I can say is that I hope you feel better soon, that it's spring now and, here at least, the flowers are starting to poke through. That I hope to read your prose very day and that you truely have a prodigious ability to remember dreams and translate them into words. Personally, I'm to afraid to write down in public most of what I dream for fear that it would show too much of my psyche.
ReplyDeleteInternet foe?!?! Ooh! I must go and get one. Now let's see, where to pick a fight.
ReplyDeleteOh right, drama needs no additional stirring. Thanks for hanging onto manners and decorum out here in the internet wastelands.
My dream was all about answering emails regarding the external auditors crawling all up in my business lately.
My physician wife, early in her career, learned that whenever she finished working with a patient and felt crazy, the most likely reason was that the patient was indeed crazy, and some it rubbed off on her.
ReplyDeleteA good thing to know and remember. It helps to identify the crazies in your life quickly and safely.
I'm with Robb. I like to think I know better than to think anything is about me -- except when it demonstrably is. (Like somebody says, "I'm talking to YOU, Alger.") Otherwise, I'm not egotistical enough to think anybody cares enough about what I do/say/think to make a thing about me.
ReplyDeleteM
No harm or foul with respect to my feelings.
ReplyDeleteIf my personal issues cause grief here, let me know, and I'll knock it off.
Jim:
ReplyDeleteExactly how does one perform a ritual internet butthurt ceremony?
Inquiring minds must know!
"If your first thought was "She's talking about me!" then I probably am. If your first thought was "She's talking about *INSERT YOUR PET INTERNET FOE HERE*!" then, no, I was almost definitely talking about you."
ReplyDeleteActually, I think my first thought on reading that you might consider a hiatus was, "Oh, spit, NO! Where will I go for my daily wicked wit and wisdom?"
My second thought was, "Thank GHU that my vapid comments have never been significant enough to have potentially contributed to that issue." I'd hate to feel even slightly guilty about that.
But seriously, if you've pissed off a few people because of some post or comment, so frickin' what? They can either grow a somewhat thicker skin, learn to laugh at themselves, or just pick their marbles up off the floor of YOUR home, and leave the game. Go play with their own marble on their own floor and see who cares.
This is a nice little corner of the 'net, and I (and many, many others) would hate to see you let it go dark just 'cause somebody took something the wrong way.
Brian:
ReplyDelete( snaps fingers )
Solitude , Shooting ... Some assembly and travel required .
ReplyDeleteJust an option Tam
"Speaker to Aspies"
ReplyDelete....aaand now I'm seeing Tam cosplaying as a Kzin.
Noah D:
ReplyDeleteHawt ...
What ever you've been eating for dinner lately to give you these dreams, eat something else.
ReplyDeleteWhat rremington said...
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking you need to lay off the sauerkraut, mushroom and goat cheese pizzas before bedtime...
davek
Tam, you just aren't holding it right (or maybe og isn't, or it could even be me).
ReplyDeleteJim:
ReplyDeleteLack of dreams:
http://www.primalbody-primalmind.com/do-you-have-pyroluria/
If your first thought was "She's talking about me!" then I probably am. If your first thought was "She's talking about *INSERT YOUR PET INTERNET FOE HERE*!" then, no, I was almost definitely talking about you.
ReplyDeleteActually, my first thought was "I know just which thread on which internet forum has set her off."
Although I freely acknowledge I could be wrong.
By this point, I am confused as to who is offended at who and why. I am suffering no confusion when I say that this is one of the more enjoyable places to visit on the webz.
ReplyDeleteThe last dream I remember involved Surface tablets and lawnmowers, and flying to Germany on business, and I awoke with no idea how those disparate elements meshed.
"Tactically offended". I like that. I'm going to steal it and practice wrapping it in paracord.
Folks, you can rest easy. The dream was obviously about me.
ReplyDeleteYou ever SEEN my YouTube videos? PEEEEEE-YOUUUUUUUU. Even the ones where I'm NOT singing...