HOUSTON, Texas (AP) -- A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student was killed by her ex-boyfriend, who then dismembered and burned her body on a patio grill, authorities said Saturday.
Are there some mind-control rays going around that I'm just not receiving? What's going on here? Is it "Dismember Your Schmoopie In The Kitchen Week" or something?
Undercover flesh-eating zombies. By cooking their victims they hope to stay under the radar.
ReplyDeleteBut the bad part is the family wants the "body" back and it was dumped in our local landfill. They want our sheriff to go through something like 40,000 tons (check the houston chronicle for the exact number) to find these little scewered and roasted hunks of stuff.
ReplyDeleteAt some point you just have to say, "come on, lets be reasonable".
The scary bit is I can just hear you
ReplyDeleteTam: "Oh, Schmoopie, could you help me with something in the kichen?"
Schmoopie: "Sure Snoogums, what is it? Hey... Wait... What's that for... Stop! Stop! AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH"
(Cue sizzling sounds)
"A 19-year-old Texas A&M University student was killed by her ex-boyfriend, who then dismembered and burned her body on a patio grill, authorities said Saturday."
ReplyDeleteThat's a Texan for you, always looking for an excuse to barbecue something...
Although human remains generally require extremely high temperatures to destroy, Thomas would not discuss how he believed the body could be burned to nothing.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. *whistle* Here boy!
Doesn't anyone store bodies in giant meat lockers anymore?
ReplyDeleteTexans may take offense since grilling is commonly mistaken for barbecue.
Since the body was burnt, that meant that it was probably barbecued instead of grilled, depending on what kind of sauce was used.
ReplyDeleteTo grill: Cooking over very high, direct heat. Intricate rubs, sops and/or sauces aren't used. Very easy to burn the meat.
ReplyDeleteTo barbecue: Cooking over very low, indirect heat. Intricate rubs, sops and/or sauces are used. Damn near impossible to burn the meat, unless you can't manage the firebox properly/get drunk and pass out for 12 hours.
Unless you're a yankee, then it's all barbecuing. Or from the west, in which case you use wretched bottled sauces whilst grilling on a damn propane contraption in an effort to make barbecue, and end up with carbon chunks that the dogs won't even eat.
And no, I'm not from any damned Texas.
Hell of a way to get the last word in...
ReplyDeleteI'll REALLY have to check the meat out next time I visit Texas...
;^)
Dang,
The wife wants some help in the kitttttttttttt
To a Texan, it isn't BBQ unless its brisket. (Beef brisket that is.)
ReplyDeleteIt isn't even full moon.
Danged Aggies. Learn to read.
ReplyDeleteYour school motto is GIG 'em Aggies, not GRILL 'em Aggies.