Began my day in the emergency exit row of an A319: Window seat with legroom like a boss.
The guy came around to ask everybody in our row if we were clear on the requirements for sitting by the exit door. He showed up just as I was pulling my flashlight out of my purse and testing the beam against my palm before stowing it in my shirt pocket.
"You're good," he said, without waiting for me to say anything, and pointed at the person next to me...
Now I'm crammed in a cattle car of a 737-800, aisle seat in steerage, aft of the wing, with my knees jammed against my chin and barely enough room to open my laptop. Capt. & Mrs. A-hole are seated outboard of me. I was already in my seat when they showed up and gestured for me to rise so they could clamber in.
"Unless you want to trade seats?" I asked, hopefully.
"She'll be taking the window seat," replied Capt. A. in a peremptory tone, gesturing with his beach novel.
I bit my lip to keep from blurting "Pity about her vocal cords..." and let them in. I hope the nosy jerk is reading this as I type... Maybe so. He suddenly made a big show of looking out the window.
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17 comments:
Damn, made me chuckle right into my glass of fine bourbon.
Hope your trip is a good one.
Welcome to corporate flying! You got off easy... Could be with anklebiters. Safe trip to you!
Ulises from CA
Surely there is more to the good Captain A's acquisition of rank than has been revealed here.
2:28? Are you sure this is the Pacific Northwest and not Mars they are taking you?
If I didn't think it was too late, I'd try to hack a manboob pic in the comments for nosyass to feat his eyes upon.
Capt A can't reach that far.
Whoops, missed it. Where are you headed on this day of days? I was in a small plane this am flying over some of that 'flat' ground and I assure you it is anything but flat at wagon altitude.
Wonder if he orders for her in restaurants.
Nothing will turn you into a misanthrope faster than a frequent flier number. Too bad - used to be fun.
I would have taken my flashlight and bopped him a double-tap on the forehead. I learned that in my How to Handle an Asshole class.
The exit row seats on an Airbus are known as redneck first class in my family.
Enjoy your trip.
Travel safe, and don't let the bastards get you down!
Hey, that was no "beach novel", it was Joan Didion. And as a matter of fact my wife was quite hoarse.
...
I'm kidding! Haven't been in a flying can in months.
Ok, I know the opportunity to respond is long past. Just thinking, though, "Look. You bought your seat from the airline. All you bought from me, so far, is an active disinterest in your comfort or safety. Good luck."
I feel your pain. The best part is when the person seated in front of you gets all pissy because they can't recline their seat because your knees are firmly wedged in thier kidneys. And they think you're being rude and they try to slam the seat back with greater and greater velocity.
You need what I've got--a prosthetic foot that can wedge into the seat ahead of you and totally prevent it's reclining. And the best part is that once it's in place, you can take the leg off and leave it there and have even more space.
"I feel your pain. The best part is when the person seated in front of you gets all pissy " etc....
Yep.
I'm 6'7" in bare feet, I can't comfortably (and barely at all) let the table down. And in most steerage class I just move my knees unto the frame of the chair in front and they go no-where. I've learn to keep my face blank when they look over the chair to see who the jerk behind them is and look up with dawning recognition that I'm not being a jerk: there isn't any room.
And if you've ever sat beside me, my apologies. I'm not trying to loom.
I'm 6'1" or so, and some plane seats seem like they jam my knees into my throat. I worked as a stagehand for 5 years, so when they ask me if I can handle that stupid door, I'm thinking that I could toss that thing around like a kitten, and part of the plane besides. I love the emergency row.
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