Police say a homeless man found decomposing in a basement freezer in central Indiana had been drinking, doing drugs and having sex with the man now suspected in his death.So, apparently the suspect (because that's what we have to call them before the verdict, no matter how many dead guys you find on the premises) brought home a vagrant, got all drunk and stoned, had teh buttseks, and then got in some kind of row that resulted in our protagonist gagging the victim with duct tape before nodding off himself, only to awaken to a dead body and what must have been the mother of all hangovers.
Now, you gotta wonder what's going through the guy's mind as he's stuffing the dead hobo into his freezer:
- "The high school guidance counselor warned me that I'd wind up like this."
- "Mom would be so proud."
- "I had no idea that you couldn't breathe through duct tape."
- "What's my probation officer going to say when he hears about this?"
36 comments:
Stupid is as stupid does... At least he'll be off the streets!
Should have plugged the freezer in.
Play stupid games; win stupid prizes.
Is it true that the choices you make actually affect your life? Then at least one political party, a great many of our educational institutions, not to speak of our popular culture, must all be misinformed. It IS definite that ALL misfortunes happen to an individual because of OTHER peeples. YUP!!
Well, the horror of all horrors is, I was trying to decide from the blurb you cut and pasted if he had kept having sex with him occasionally after sticking him in the freezer.
Probably says more about me than the guy in the story...
What does that slippery slope look like?
A lot of weird situations are caused by a series of seemingly rational choices.
1 I came downstairs in a towel.
2 Saw the light out in the dining room.
3 When I went to get the bulb saw that the dog got mud on the floor.
4 Put Towel on mud.
5 Hurried up and climbed the table instead of getting the step stool.
6 Get seen impersonating the statue of liberty naked.
How screwed up does the current situation has to be for "put my dead homeless sex toy in my spare freezer" to be the reasonable response.
What was the page in the choose your own adventure book where pick up homeless guy for sex party was the good choice?
I wonder if the IMPD lets him take the cruiser home at night all the way to Kokomo or if he has to commute in? Probably won't be a concern now as he'll be on paid administrative leave while the new chief gets this all sorted out for him...
Damn nosey neighbors spoil everything.
Gerry
Anonymous said...
Should have plugged the freezer in.
My first thought exactly.
Always have to wonder about the thinking of this type of guy when...say...watching a movie or tv show...do they sympathize with the bad guy on the show? (Gee, I can really see where that guy's coming from....maybe I should consider the serial killer route?) Or are they rooting for the good guys never seeing the conflict of interest?
Ancient Woodsman,
The guy does seem to have the finely-honed judgment skills that seem to be a prerequisite for the upper levels of the chain of command around here.
It's because of the gun culture.
•"Oh, no, not AGAIN!"
•"Where's I put that horseradish?"
•"Damn, and the in sink erator is messed up again"
•"I'm never gonna get those stains out of the concrete"
"the funk of forty thousand years"
I heard that in my head as I read it, now it won't go away. And now the laughing has started to echo in there too. Gonna be a long day.
Kel
You can hear it in your head because it's from Thriller.
And now that I've said it I have the damn thing burrowing into my skull.
...had teh buttseks. Thanks for that. I really needed the belly laugh. You Hoosiers are giving us Californians a run for our freak money.
Woodman: "What was the page in the choose your own adventure book where pick up homeless guy for sex party was the good choice?"
Great, now my co-workers think I'm choking to death. {snicker}
And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids
If only he were a counterculture figure, he could flee the country and be a hero in France until after the lengthy search and somewhat shorter extradition battle.
Thinking of another blog where the owner said " I like my men like I like my coffee..." and was interrupted by a co-worker asking" ground up and in your freezer?"
"Home on the range" maybe, I can't recall
similar incident around here a year or so ago, but ours was with a local TV weatherman...
DEPENDING ON LOCAL CONDITIONS "FUNK" = THE SMELL OF ROTTEN HAMBURGER TO THE 10TH + POWER DIFFICULT TO GET RID OF
FROM ANYTHING IN ITS VICINITY CADAVER
DOGS CAN FOLLOW EVEN MICROSCOPIC WIFFS
(POOR DOGS !) THROUGH CONCRETE MANY YEARS PAST
Plugging the freezer in didn't help Dahlmer.
He couldn't find a decent recipe for human heads ... and those damned gonads kept plugging up his sink trap.
Er... Um...
Not nearly so attractive now that he's all corpsified.
"Damn nosey neighbors spoil everything."
I think that "spoiled" thing works both ways in this case.
What good is executing a plan if you don't follow through on the details??
And I got a grin outta "Ground up and in your freezer?"
I was kinda wondering about the "rotting in the freezer" thing... if you're going to stick a dead guy in the freezer, turn the dang thing on!
Dammit - I've got Kokomo by the Beach Boys stuck in my brain. You and Roomie can finish up the lyrics:
The hobo, ain't breathin', ooo I'm gonna stick him in the freezer, that's broken, Come on pretty mama!
That odor, is normal, please don't call the po-po down to Kokomo...
ScottH,
I am in awe.
But, DAMN, I wish I'd written that! :D
I am yet again reminded of the ongoing, low-key office argument in Homicide: Life On The Streets about, "Are criminals dumb, or does criminality cause brain damage?"
The real reason Lawn Odor claims their crime stories are "Ripped From The Headlines" is that no matter how outre a thing they can make up, some dude (Sumdood???) is doin' it already.
"Too much of a good thing spoils you" became "too much of a good thing spoiled".
Wowzers.
I haven't chuckled this hard since I read the announcment that Jeffery Dahlmer had hijacked a truckload of A-1 steak sauce and was reportedly heading for Waco, Texas.
This reminds me rather sadly of how Adam Carolla developed a scientific scale to measure how bad things smell. The unit (and I'm not making this up) was "Hobo-Power," on a Scale of 1-10. 1 being a normal (living) hobo on a hot summer day. I believe 10 was "a cat, fed nothing but bleu cheese for a week, defecating on a white-hot Hibachi. Not entirely sure where this one would fall on that scale.
White-hot hibachi full of cat poo ... OK then.
I'm not sure plugging in teh freezer would have helped much.
A. Takes time to stabilize the temps.
B. Unless you bleed, gut, and section a large animal, it will start the decomp process from the inside out before it freezes through even if the freezer is already cold. Too much stays at good bacterial temps too long, especially the digestive system.
What? Why are you all looking at me that way? I'm just gonna go put meat tenderizer and cold water on my clown suit. . . {grin}
Geodkyt: I just assume that you have some experience with deer, hog, or cow carcasses - but I hope someone taught you enough that you didn't find about about decomp the hard way. I've heard enough complaints about the taste of venison (which is much more flavorful than feedlot beef when properly prepared) to suspect that there are too many hunters who don't know enough to remove the guts and certain glands on the spot.
Geodykt:
Build a smokehouse!
That is the proper way to prepare and preserve dead hobo for winter consumption.
Kristophr:
However, smokehouses stand out in suburban and urban environments. Which is, unfortuantely, where the free-range organic hobos tend to be. . .
Also, fava beans are readily available at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods (which tend to rather thin in more rural areas).
markm:
I'll confess -- survival training, plus a fondness for gruesome serial killer histories and oddball forensic cases.
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