...where they let you zip line over some alligators in Florida, and I swear to H.L. Mencken that my very first thought was "Is the harness fastened so that it needs some special tool to unlatch? Or is it a quick-release buckle, wide open for someone to commit a very exotic and YouTube-worthy suicide?"
(Bobbi: "The alligators have rubber teeth.")
Does it matter what type of teeth the alligator have?
ReplyDeleteDo you not die by drowning?
Shootin' Buddy
I have been told that way back when that place first opened, they had the raised walkways but didn't even have handrails. The handrails were put in when someone let their toddler walk along by herself and she fell off... never to be seen again.
ReplyDeleteAs it is, the handrails are there so you (probably) can't fall in accidentally (wire mesh covers from the walkway to the handrail), but it would be easy to climb over and jump right in if that is the death you are wanting. I haven't seen where they put in the zip line (haven't been there for a while), but I suspect that someone hopping into the water from the walkway would be more likely to get videoed.
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"Lucky for you this is just a warning gator. Next one won't be corked."
ReplyDeleteEvolution in Action, perhaps?
ReplyDeleteAlligators, at least the ones in Florida, aren't usually all that aggressive toward things bigger than they are. So this is mostly the appearance of danger rather than its reality.
ReplyDeleteOf course if you land on one's back and it wasn't expecting that, your mileage may painfully vary.
Be careful, Joel, for you are treading on my dreams. :p
ReplyDeleteAnyone falling from the zip line will probably have no trouble from the alligators unless for some reason, they somehow resemble a yappy little handbag-sized dog.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteTam: Don't worry. They have some gators there that are definitely bigger than you.
Ferret: HAHA! Gator bait!
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This should be a postgraduate-worthy science experiment: Toss in one of those Swedish Ethiopians and let's find out.
ReplyDeleteGatorland is right down the street from me. They have the Screamin' Gator Zip line.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.gatorland.com/tours_screamin_gator_2.shtml
Stuart:
I have been going to that place since the '70's. It opened in 1949, but I am not aware of any child ever being eaten at the park.
I was there (as a firefighter) when the place caught fire in 2006.
http://s726.photobucket.com/user/fokker416/media/Grab%20Bag/Gatorland022.jpg.html
Petted one like a kitten off the boardwalk a few years back... but acourse he had a big ole fish in his mouth at the time and didn't think a whole lot of my hand. Canon IS lenses give you a whole lot more courage than anyone oughta have. I also didn't have enough coffee... I got the pic lyin' (?) around somewhere.
ReplyDeleteIt's an IQ test. Even better, it's a business model where they get the low IQ to *pay* to take the test.
ReplyDeleteAnd double props to anyone who says "hold mah beer".
I'm not normally one to, err, disparage the redneck impulse, but this seems like the exception that proves the rule.*
* Yeah, I know I used that wrong ...
Half price for Democrats? Do the accept EBT cards?
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm feeling unusually snarky this evening as well.
Divemedic,
ReplyDeleteThat tidbit was relayed to me by someone who lived in the area at that time. That, of course, doesn't mean it is fact. Unfortunately, he died a few years ago so I can't go back and ask if he had first hand knowledge or if he was repeating rumor.
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