View From The Porch: You might be are a redneck if...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

You might be are a redneck if...

You think that this is a classy way to display your unpretentious yet impertinent little Modesto green-apple flavored white from that famous vintage, the second week of January:

(Detailed! Hand Painted!)

35 comments:

Turk Turon said...: I believe that is the actual Mexican gun canard.; 12:08 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: I met an upscale redneck the one time. He had a wine rack in the back of his pickup.

Jim; 12:18 PM, March 31, 2009
eeky said...: That is ten shades of awesome.; 12:39 PM, March 31, 2009
dave said...: They even put a band on the leg. Color me impressed!; 1:00 PM, March 31, 2009
Jason said...: Great for any decor. Says so right there on the box!; 1:07 PM, March 31, 2009
Pappy said...: You say Redneck as if it were a bad thing.; 1:21 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: I have one (or one similar); My eldest daughter (who loves animals) got it for me. I was sort of horrified by it at first, but she meant well, and I sort of like it now. It's quirky -- like me.; 1:39 PM, March 31, 2009
Ride Fast said...: Just saying Boone's Farm causes a headache from the past. God but that stuff was vile.; 2:18 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: "God but that stuff was vile."

Only the first four bottles of the night. After that it's pretty good.; 2:31 PM, March 31, 2009
Wild Bill said...: And for the rest of the animal cast ... http://www.cabelas.com/cabelas/en/templates/links/link.jsp?id=0062578627732a&type=product&cmCat=SEARCH_all&returnPage=search-results1.jsp&Ntt=wine&Ntk=Products&sort=all&_D%3AhasJS=+&N=0&_D%3Asort=+&Nty=1&hasJS=true&_DARGS=%2Fcabelas%2Fen%2Fcommon%2Fsearch%2Fsearch-box.jsp.form1&_dyncharset=ISO-8859-1

Kinda like the moose myself ;-)
Cheers
Bill; 3:14 PM, March 31, 2009
Gewehr98 said...: Woohoo!

Road trip to Cabelas this weekend!

Word verification: loserses (!)

(Sometimes I wonder if Google Blogger doesn't really have an AI sense of humor installed...); 3:21 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: We just can't have nice things!

Shootin' Buddy; 3:54 PM, March 31, 2009
Jay G said...: I'm still trying to figure out how I'll fit my wine-in-a-box in that contraption...; 4:11 PM, March 31, 2009
boomvark said...: I didn't know Boone's Farm was even on the market any more.

I don't know how it gets along with ducks, but have you ever seen a drunk raccoon? I have. What you do not want to see, though, is a raccoon with a hangover.; 4:28 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: I like the deer one...it has nice look to it; 4:31 PM, March 31, 2009
El Capitan said...: I'd have to set a bottle of something really French and really expensive in there just to mortify the wine snobs.

"We have the '64 Chateau Latour, sir. Let me go pull it off the mallard."

Bonus word verification: plops; 5:02 PM, March 31, 2009
Ambulance Driver said...: LOL @ Turk.

I guess I'm a lot like Dave. Yeah, it's a tasteless mallard drake wine bottle holder.

But this mallard drake has a band.

That makes it classy, all by itself. I'd buy it.; 5:05 PM, March 31, 2009
David said...: I wandered into a Bass Pro Shops the other day with my 12 year old daughter. These were on display in the main aisle. I stopped picked up a duck and the moose, tucked them under my arm and started to walk away when my daughter exclaimed "Dad, you're not going to by THOSE are you?" with a horrified look on her face.

I turned set them back on the display and said, of course not, lets go buy you some camouflage clothes for you to wear to school instead.

I don't think she wants to go shopping with me anymore...; 5:19 PM, March 31, 2009
Kevin said...: That would look even better with a nice 1982 Zeller SchwartzKat (black Cat) or Kellergiester (Cellar Ghost)
both decent cheap wines, that were about a buck-a-bottle over there back then -- less than Boone's Farm in the Class-6 store.
Good blended wines easy sipping, great with dark bread and real cheese. And just as good out of a paper bag at concert.

Now the black bear and a bottle of Blue Nun FTW; 6:18 PM, March 31, 2009
Bob said...: They should include sound effects chips so you can hear the mallard quack and hiccup. Sort of like the "Bigmouth Billy Bass" from a few years ago.; 6:34 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: Waal, you could put one of those fake bullet-hole stickers on it, to make it an Arkansas duck.

You do remember Bill, don't you?
_______________________
Hit ain't redneck unless a Jaegermeister bottle fits in there.; 7:19 PM, March 31, 2009
jimbob86 said...: Pappy said...
You say Redneck as if it were a bad thing.

1:21 PM, March 31, 2009

Ummmm..... errrr.... I's startin' ta think that there is ... in fact... the case....; 10:26 PM, March 31, 2009
Tam said...: "You say Redneck as if it were a bad thing."

No value judgment was implied or intended. :); 10:41 PM, March 31, 2009
Anonymous said...: If you moved from Atlanta to East Tenn., then to southern Indiana, you're just now learning what "redneck" is all about.

Like some other "southern issues," it's a mostly northern phenomenon.; 6:19 AM, April 01, 2009
ajdshootist said...: I never seen a drunk racoon but i have seen a drunk West African Grey Parrot!; 7:18 AM, April 01, 2009
Stuart_the_Viking said...: A drunken armadillo is about the funniest thing EVER! They roll...; 8:00 AM, April 01, 2009
Quigley said...: I'm still trying to figure out how I'll fit my wine-in-a-box in that contraption...

You take it out of the box and carefully drape the metallic bag over the critter so just it's head pokes out from under the bag. That way it still looks cute - astronaut "space blanket" cute but still cute. Why do I always have to be Dr. Obvious?

I am just kidding for those obsessive types reading this.

WV: unders (when you are too shy to say "underware"); 9:40 AM, April 01, 2009
Ross said...: A couple of friends of mine just had a fire in their house. They're serious cork dorks, and part of the process of determining what had been damaged was that they came over to our house with three bottles that had been in the wine cooler in their dining room - which was up against the wall to the room the fire was in. They had to drink it, you see, to see if it had survived. So they brought some over to share with my wife (I don't drink). These were the expensive bottles that were like over $100/bottle. They tell me that their insurance agent was relieved that he didn't have to pay for it all...

But I'm thinking that for a housewarming present when their house gets repaired, I need to get them one of these duck wine holders... yes, I'm a Northern red neck.; 9:49 AM, April 01, 2009
Tam said...: "They're serious cork dorks..."

I had never heard that term before. I LOL'ed.; 9:53 AM, April 01, 2009
Dr. StrangeGun said...: Hrmm.

If it'll prop up a Krinkov, we could stick a little sombrero on it...; 10:32 AM, April 01, 2009
kahr40 said...: Neat; 8:44 PM, April 01, 2009
kahr40 said...: Redneck? Who Me?; 8:45 PM, April 01, 2009
Anonymous said...: We used to take dead armadillos by the side of the road and do the same thing with them and nearby empty beer bottles.
The treasures of living in NE Texas.

WV: besse
Like the cow?; 9:52 PM, April 01, 2009
B Smith said...: Cold Duck, anyone?

And no rippin' on Boone's Farm...that stuff saved my life, once or twice, heh. Waaay better'n Mad Dog 20/20. Heathens.; 10:37 PM, April 01, 2009
HTRN said...: I see your wine guzzling fowl and raise you.. The Wine Rack.; 8:59 PM, April 03, 2009