I hate you, AT&T.

There needs to be a special Smart People Illuminati you can join where you get special Service Line numbers so you can avoid having to listen to endless ****ing phone tree questions that ask retards "Is the land line plugged into the wall?" and "Is the cup holder on the computer retracted?"
I nearly threw my ****ing cell phone across the room.

"Yes! Yes! I already checked the simple stuff! That's why I'm calling you people!"
.