Friday, January 25, 2013

Another trope demolished.

So the poor Safelite guy came out and replaced the windshield Wednesday afternoon, all Carhartted up against the 18°F weather. The operation took a little longer than normal because whoever had replaced the windshield last time had used glue up the vertical edges and now glue will be used there forevermore.

Since the vehicle had to sit unmolestered for a bit, I walked to Twenty Tap for a late lunch. (Pressed brisket sandwich and a pint of Flat 12's Nunmoere.)

Yesterday morning dawned sunny and clear, if still bitterly cold. I rolled the car out for the new windshield's inaugural trip and, passing under a tree on Guilford, just shy of my destination at Kroger, something large and incontinent dropped a present on the squeaky clean new glass. Right. In front. Of my eyes.

Did you read headlines yesterday that screamed
"Enraged Indianapolis woman pulls car over to side of road, empties high-capacity murder clip of deadly assault weapon into tree, reloads, and does it again!"
No. No, you did not. Because I didn't.
.

23 comments:

Carteach said...

Most likely an assault ostrich. They follow the Safelite trucks on their mating travels.

Pakkinpoppa said...

Darn birds and their high capacity bowels.

Every so often I get a reminder not to park under berry trees...

Jay G said...

You're kidding.

I thought that kind of thing only happened to me...

Robert said...

It seems to be the rule that whenever I start a long road trip within the first 10 miles Mothra's cousin will decide to suicide itself directly in my line of sight.

staghounds said...

Having twice had actual trees fall on my car while driving, I mock your pain.

Jay G said...

And I know Tam knows this one: Better your windshield than your helmet.

Especially if you're wearing an open-face...

Able said...

"squeaky clean new glass". Oh how I wish.

They usually wait until I get out of the car, for some subtle reason especially when I'm 'dressed up' for some important meeting, and then 'christen' the shoulder of my suit. *&@%$&!ers

Oh, and don't tell the Postal Service:

http://www.thisissomerset.co.uk/Postman-splat-Pigeon-mess-deters-delivery/story-17892839-detail/story.html

Bram said...

you didn't, but you thought about it.

Scott J said...

I fully understand the urge you had to resist.

Cormac said...

You thought about it though, didn't you?

NAVIGATOR said...

CHAINSAW ANYONE ?

armedlaughing said...

I was nowhere NEAR Indianapolis!

gfa

Shrimp said...

Because I didn't.

You're doing it wrong, then. According to the Sarah Brady and company, you were supposed to have a shoot out with someone because you got angry, and the EVIIIIIL firearm in your vicinity was supposed to make you go all shooty and such. Won't you do it for the children and have a shoot out with someone because you were angry?

Sport Pilot said...

I'd have made your bail for something like that one Tam. Thanks for the big smile reading this post brough out.

Kristophr said...

Now you need an air-pistol.

Brad K. said...

Well, thank goodness you didn't grab a paper towel like the poor driver in Nicholas Cage's "Con Air", as the plane flew over.

Poor Pinball.

Steve Skubinna said...

Obviously you were not carrying. As we all know, the mere presence of a firearm turns an otherwise law abiding citizen into a deranged killer.

Or had you not reloaded after your last shootout over a parking space? I understand that happens all the time. Seriously, Dodge City, streets awash in blood.

Anonymous said...

"Twenty Tap" would be a good name for an Alaska gun range.

Crowndot said...

Red Skelton flashback:
" Gertrude and Heathcliff, the two seagulls. Gertrude says, 'See that Subaru with the new windshield?' And Heathcliff says, 'No, but I'll *spot it* in a minute!' "

Fiftycal said...

Yah, it's a bitter winter here in Texas. Got down to 62 last night. Had to put on the leather jacket to ride the motorcycle to work today. Only got to 79 this afternoon. Damm globull warming.

Cargosquid said...

No jury in the world would have convicted you.

Vernon said...

Had something about the size of a sparrow turn itself into a large red goo spot directly in the center of my windshield at 200 knots back in my Air Force days. Did pattern work for about an hour after that before landing. Yum.

VJ

Anonymous said...

I was once in formation, in C school.
That't a tech school in the navy for all you landlubbers..

I was standing at attention in my dress whites...and a fucking dove shit on my cap.
the inspecter was right next to me too.
He grinned and STILL gigged me.
GRRRRR

leaperman