Monday, October 01, 2012

The Day After Red Dawn.

So, as we all know, the remake of Red Dawn was to feature a Chinese invasion of the American mainland, until certain people in Beijing coughed politely and post-production tricks were hastily employed to turn the bad guys into North Koreans.

This is a multilevel funny, in that not only is a North Korean invasion of anyplace they can't reach on foot comically implausible, but it's some classically provincial Ugly Americanism, too: "Jes' airbrush differnt words on the signs and dub different jabber in the soundtrack. Chinee, Ko-reeins, Japanee... All them yaller people are pretty much the same, right?" If this were a web forum, here's where I'd put the .gif of Jean Luc Picard with his face in his palm.

Anyhow, apparently an independent filmmaker is trying to put together a more plausible tale of near future apocalyptica, and they're leaving the Chinese as the antagonists.

(H/T to WRSA.)


Yrro said...

Heck, why bother with changing the signs? It's not as though they're bothering to research the correct hanzi anyway.

All of the actors will probably be from Hong Kong, too.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for link.


Scott J said...

One needs to be made with the most likely bad actors.

Starts with riots by the FSA when the Obama phones go dead and the EBT card comes up empty.

A totalitarian regime is quickly imposed out of DC when the non-FSA defend themselves.

Noah D said...

Ah, brave, brave Hollywood.

Tam said...

Scott J,

Didn't go look at the link, did you? ;)

Bubblehead Les. said...

I remember when John Milius was asked what the purpose behind Red Dawn was. He said that since the Draft was over, the younger Generation didn't have Military Training, so the whole movie was supposed to be a "Guerilla Warfare 101" Training Film. Just in Case.

Though I've heard there's an Australian version that came out a couple of years ago called "Tomorrow When the War Began." I see it's on Netflix, so when it's rotation comes up in the Que, I'll let you know if it's any good. Unless someone else has seen it and has a review....

Kevin said...


You beat me to it. It's available streaming from Netflix. An actual disc will be awhile, apparently.

I watched it a couple of weeks ago. They never come out and say who the bad guys are, but it's pretty apparent that they're Chinese. On a 1-to-5 scale, I'd give it a 2.5. It's more a teen-angst film that "WOLVERINES!" but it's not bad.

It's certainly no "Guerilla Warfare 101" class.

Kevin said...

Having viewed the trailer for Dragon Day, I'd say it looks better than Tomorrow When the War Began.

leBolide said...

Tam - just in case you didn't realize, this being a web site, you can still imbed your Jean-Luc and other ragefaces to emotify your posts.

(tongue-in-cheek, I know you know how to post pictures)

Anonymous said...


IF the US gets invaded, the invaders will have been invited in and welcomed by the starving masses.

Freedom and all that "stuff" is trumped by a meal a day and basically enforced law and order (most people can live with a police state if the opposite is mad-max land), people will go for anyone that can provide the latter two.

sobriant74 said...

Tomorrow when the war began posits an alliance of unnamed communist asian nations invading Australia. Since I can only name three I'm guessing they would be china, north korea and vietnam.
The movie is OK, I think the writing is a bit weak and there are way too many cleavage shots versus explosions, but the overall movie is watchable.
As for the red dawn remake, doubt I'll see it, the PRK as invader stretches credulity to the point of snapping.

Anonymous said...

Well, as I recall, the main antagonist in the original was Cuban.* I'd say a Cuban invasion is minimally more plausible than a North Korean one.


Tam said...


"Well, as I recall, the main antagonist in the original was Cuban."

No, it was a massive alliance of the USSR and all the world's communist countries. The main unit that initially dropped on the town where the movie was set was Cuban, although there were Russkies and all manner of other commies around, too.

Geodkyt said...

Yup -- and the primary land invasion force through Texas and holding the MidWest from Rockies to Appalacia was primarily Mexican & South American Communist divisions, with a leavening for forward deployed Soviet divisions.

AFTER nuke strikes on key military and communications nexi in the MidWest (like Kansas City, St. Louis, etc.)

Movie started with a background of Mexico and most of Central America falling to Communist movements out of Cuba and Nicaragua, NATO dissolving over political disagreements and a wave of leftist electoral victories in Europe, and a post-NATO German reunification -- only with WEST Germany falling to a Green/Communist coalition at the polls before inviting the East German Party officials to take the lead in the unified nation.

Anonymous said...

The North Koreans are plausible. Now, granted that a North Korean invasion is far-fetched.

However, what if they were INVITED to help "restore law and order" to a collapsing America?

1) America is experiencing massive unrest, terr incidents, and so on;
2) FEDGOV orders the military to crack down on civilians using lethal force;
3) the military disobeys orders and deserts en masse;
4) left without a viable military force, but with plenty of equipment and physical assets, FEDGOV hires the muscle it needs from a country with no money, but plenty of manpower (say, NK);
5) FEDGOV contracts thousands of former Soviet bloc pilots to transport hundreds of thousands (or millions, over time) of North Korean infantry/artillery/armor personnel, which NK has made available to FEDGOV in exchange for hard assets (food, gold, timber, mineral rights, etc.).

It's got all sorts of possibilities.

Scott J said...

*sheepishly* No, I didn't follow the link. **

But that still posits an external attack.

I say that won't be necessary for the global collectivists to achieve their goal.

I'm thinking of something like John Galt's "Day The Dollar Died"

Anonymous said...

I think with the world wide bacon shortage coming shortly we should keep a watchful eye to the Great White North.

A Canadian soldier without his bacon rasher is a modern day bezerker


Anonymous said...

Gerry: I always liked SNL's "Amerida", a spoof of the mini-series "Amerika". SNL swapped out the Soviet invasion with a Canadian takeover of the US.

Brad K. said...

Maureen McHugh wrote "China Mountain Zhang" some years back, about a US under Communist Chinese rule -- with Chinese aristocracy, and multiculturalism (except Chinese and Not-Chinese) a forgotten fantasy. And there is no military action in the premise.

Besides, so many Chinese officials hold property in the US, to hedge against inflation in China, they cannot afford property values to fall any further.

global village idiot said...

A Jewish fellow and a Chinese fellow are sitting at a bar. Without any provocation, the Jew hauls off and cold-cocks the Chinaman.

"OW!!!What was that for?!" asks the Chinaman.

"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jew.

"But I'm Chinese! Pearl Harbor was the Japanese!"

"Chinese, Japanese - what's the difference?"

At that moment the Chinaman pops the Jew in the nose as hard as he can.

"OW! What was THAT for?!"

"That was for sinking the Titanic!"

"Huh? The Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!"

"Iceberg, Goldberg - what's the difference?"

I'll be here all week.

Kirk Parker said...

"...way too many cleavage shots..."

Ummmm, duuuude....

Mikael said...

There was a recent video game that did a north korean invasion thing as well and got laughed at in the reviews for the sheer implausibility of it... ah yes it's called Homefront.

Lewis said...

And squaring that circle, or watching the dragon swallow it's own tail, Homefront had significant creative input from . . . John Milius!

Jericho941 said...

Homefront went to great lengths to justify the plausibility of a North Korean invasion. First, it takes place a decade or two in the future, after the US military has been significantly downsized. After that happens, North Korea starts invading the hell out of everyone. South Korea, Japan, and so on. Having decommissioned all but one carrier, and shut down foreign bases in the region, the US can't respond.

Then the US is devastated by a nasty flu.

Finally, the hugely expanded North Korea launches a cyberwarfare and EMP attack, THEN invades.

I don't think the new Red Dawn will put that much effort into it.

Hobie said...

I have said for years that the ONLY plausible world dominators for the next go-around are the Chinese, the Indians being too polite but will be forced to resist and then might beat the Chinese. There are just too many. Too many smart, too many strong, too many hard working, just too many, to not be the big cheese.

Heck, if you ever watched Firefly you'd know this...