Hahahahahahaha!

Proof that the goofy "what gun are you?" meme that is making the rounds is complete and utter bovine exhaust:

I am a: Walther, Model PPK in .380 auto

What kind of handgun are YOU?

I wouldn't use ground-up PPK's to line my cat's litter box.

Plus, the quiz is hosted by the site for Iggy Piazza's gun camp. When you finish the quiz, there's another quiz where the Four Weapon Combat Master himself promises you a FREE GIFT (like maybe an e-meter or a prayer hankie, or the title to a half acre of desert scrub and a super triple platinum eternal lifetime gun camp membership) if you answer half of the questions correctly. The tone is set by the first question:

1) Which of the following handguns would you consider the best for general self defense?
Single Action Revolver, example: Colt Peacemaker
Double Action Revolver, example: Smith and Wesson Model 29
Double Action Semi-auto, example: Beretta 92F
Single Action Semi-auto, example: Colt 1911
Safe Action Semi-Auto, example: Glock
Action Adventure Hero Auto, example: UFP2000

...as though there's a "correct" answer other than "the gun I shoot the best and am most comfortable with carrying."

Another good one was:

8) What handgun would you recommend for a woman who wants to protect herself?
Pocket pistol
Small revolver
Single action semi-auto
Double action semi-auto
Safe action semi-auto

Oddly enough, 'let the li'l darlin' pick out what she can shoot best' was not an option. Oh, crap! I'm a woman who wants to protect herself! Maybe I've been carrying the wrong gun all along. I sure hope not.

My favorite, however, was question number nine:

9) What do you feel is the best handgun caliber for general self defense?
.45 ACP
10mm
.40 S&W
.357 magnum
9mm
.38 Special
.380
.25
.22

I had no idea that there was a definitive answer to this question. Just think of the on-line arguments I could win if I knew the right answer to the "Bestest Caliber" question! I'd better submit my answers so I can get the correct ones from the horse's... er, mouth. I hurriedly tick off a random answer to #10 and then try to see how my (and I quote) "Weapons and Tactics Knowledge Stacks Up Against Front Sight Firearms Training Institute's Founder and Director, Four Weapons Combat Master, Dr. Ignatius Piazza". Mouse hand all a-tremble, I click the "view results" button and...

...get taken to a page where Dr. Piazza, DC, FWCM, ETC, wants my email address. Just so he can grade my paper, you know.

Fat chance, pal.

Plagiarism.

Marko's excellent "Why The Gun Is Civilization" essay has been ripped off all over the intarwebz, and even mis-attributed on the air by Neal Boortz.

Now it's being used as ad copy by noted Four Weapons Combat Master®©™ and gun school impresario Iggy Piazza.

Were I Marko, I'd lawyer up. I'm just sayin'.

Ut-bay ot-nay oo-tay ight-bray...

Dear sir,

You are obviously a fantastic shot and have cojones the size of grapefruit. However, your demo tapes didn't show me anything at all about your skill as an instructor, which is the position we are trying to fill. Further, and to put this as gently as possible, your demo tape proved that your sense of judgment and risk management could be equaled by a rabid chihuahua.

Sincerely,
I. Piazza, DCM, FWCM, XYZ, PDQ, ETC

(H/T to Unc.)