Monday, July 04, 2022

Happy Independence Day!

This is the day we commemorate George Washington swimming across the Delaware to bust Martin Luther King out of jail, where he'd been unjustly imprisoned for cracking the king of England's royal bell in Philadelphia. This is why it's now called the Liberty Bell.

Washington and King went on the lam, putting together a group of dissidents and malcontents, including Ben Franklin, Tom Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, and Amelia Earhart. This crew began waging guerrilla warfare against the king, using the tactics developed by Francis Marion and Robin Hood.

In the end, after many cool shootouts and various heists and capers on royal outposts, the king was chased back to England and Washington's crew celebrated with Budweiser, grilled hamburgers, and fireworks.

The End.