Tuesday, September 07, 2010

Rule One: You must look cool.

Unc points out, correctly, that "tactical" used to mean "black and expensive".

It should be noted, however, that foliage green is the new flat dark earth which is the new coyote brown which is the new black.

Make the appropriate notations in your fashion guides.

25 comments:

Fred said...

Ick. I've always hated Foliage Green. I'll stick with variations of tan for my personal gear.

Tam said...

As long as it has enough MOLLE loops, fastex buckles, and velcro, the color isn't as important.

Alan said...

If you're trying to look cool, you aren't.

Fred said...

I may just be jaded to the baby-puke green due to my dislike of UCP. I almost want to go back to Afghanistan just so I can get some Multi-cam...

I just find the FDE and Coyote colors blend much better across the board than Foliage, which seems to blend with almost nothing.

Bubblehead Les. said...

I exist, therefore I am automatically cool, no matter what I wear. That is the mindset of 3 generations of Spoiled American Brats (your Fellow Citizens), or what they seem to believe. But hey, someone has to prop up the ChiCom Economy by purchasing silly clothing, right? It's a miracle that the U.S. won WW2 wearing Brown Wool clothes and not a sguare inch of Velcro or Molle II, isn't it? Oh, well, off to school I go. Should I wear the Realtree Designer shorts or the Mossy Oak?

tom-the-impaler said...

When, oh when will there be a "tactical plaid" pattern? or a tactical purpose for my extensive collection of comfy cotton Hawaiian shirts?

atlharp said...

The real question is "Can you still wear foliage green after Labor Day?"

Fred said...

Thanks Tom... now I'm thinking about how a Hawaiian shirt would look in Multicam colors.

I'm sure there's some subdued looking tartans out there though, so there's still hope for your plaid.

Tam said...

Fred,

"I just find the FDE and Coyote colors blend much better across the board than Foliage, which seems to blend with almost nothing."

It blends into almost any background: Green grass, green trees, green rocks, green sky...

Ed Skinner said...

I was selling an all black handgun at a gun show and a potential buyer, looking for something for his wife.
Shaking his head and turning to leave he said, "I wanted something in camo."
"Well," I countered, "does she look better in camo or in a black negligee?"
(Pause)
Sold!

Ed Foster said...

I had about the last two sets of the old herringbone utilities ever issued. They were a reasonable shade of green when new, but washed out to almost white with a year or so of the base laundry's attentions.

It was a case of "Here I am, shoot me first", but they were so friggin' SALTY I had a macho young LT offer me big bucks for them. Everybody wanted to look like John Wayne.

I should have taken him up on it. We got the slant pocket greenies shortly afterward, and the herringbones lay in my seabag for the rest of the tour. My sons wore them years later, and I think they ended up as cleaning rags for my ex.

The "Look at me, I'm BAAAD" meme has probably been around as long as there have been REMF's cultivating the thousand yard stare to impress bar girls.

Jeff the Baptist said...

"When, oh when will there be a "tactical plaid" pattern?"

For at least a hundred to two hundred years. There are a large number of "hunting" tartans developed before and through the Victorian period. These are often color transformations from the original clan tartan from bright colors like red into darker shades or earth tones. Sometimes they are completely different tartans entirely.

Some tartan historians might dispute that hunting tartans were ever used for hunting. They might be right. But then again when has applying the word "tactical" to something meant it is actually used tactically.

perlhaqr said...

Tom, Fred: Dangit!

Now I want a plaid in the various 3 color pattern, uh, colors, that the US .mil uses, or, ... used.

And digicam hawaiian shirts. Both just pixellated hawaiian shirts, and hawaiian shirts in pixellated, subdued colors.

Anonymous said...

Mis matched cammo has always been tacticool. Just ask this man.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_M._Gray,_Jr.

Gerry

Anonymous said...

My favorite dis used to be "tactiblack", then came the more derisive "tacticool". Now I've gone to "tacti-cull" which fits with my new method of separating shooters from posers:

The amount of various camos, accessories, and gear is in direct inversion to the reality underneath it...when you get down to the folks in jeans, tees, and maybe some cargo shorts, them's the reals deals. Not 100% accurate, but damn close.

But if you're on the selling side of the show table or retail counter, the more tacticrap the better; those are your mark$.

AT

GuardDuck said...

I see a vision: digital paisley socks with velcro secured admin pockets, fastex buckles for a quick release ankle rig and molle straps for the new line of add on gear branded 'calf-x"

Ed Foster said...

I bowhunt with grey treebark pants and woodland brown on brown jacket. Ever see a tree that didn't have a trunk?

And no, I don't break any laws, as my 400 square inch blaze orange vest is wrapped around the tree a few feet over the pile of blowdown I use as a hide.

I recently got sucked into some paintball shooting. It didn't go well.

I got my butt kicked, as they hope and spray and advance like the Russian army, under a flood of balls. You can't shoot at normal rifle ranges or they would all be fertilizer, but up close it's nasty to expose yourself enough to get a decent field of fire.

But damn did they like my hunting camo. The two flankers I whacked before I was massively eliminated never knew I was there. Again, it's nothing but an old Red Head duck hunting shirt and RealTree bark pattern pants with a homemade ghille veil on a tan bucket hat, but perfect for the New England woods.

Who would have thought 35 year old hunting togs would trump all that psychedelic zig-zag stuff the kids are buying now?

staghounds said...

"Christ! Who's your tailor?"

Anonymous said...

I shoulda qualified my criticism to exclude hunters like Ed, warriors like Fred's brothers-in-arms, and even SWAT cops (though that one grates a bit).

Good rule of thumb is if you're trying to blend in, avoid notice or do a dangerous job, that's one thing. But if you're trying to stand out, get attention, and impress the other posers at the gunshow, the range, or the mall...well, that's something else.

AT

D.W. Drang said...

I was chatting with the retired NCO working the counter at Rainier Arms a few weeks ago:
"They can change the name to Full Dark Earth but it's just last year's Coyote Brown..." pause... "Does this slung make my buttstock look fat?"

D.W. Drang said...

And Tam beat me to the Bored of the Rinmgs quote. Damn that having to work anyway!

Tam said...

D.W. Drang wins the internets!

;)

DirtCrashr said...

I have a camo bucket-hat with white Hawaiian flowers - it goes with my Hawaiian shirts. I'm klewl.

Revolver Rob said...

I love foliage green! I are popular, yay!!! Wait....I just always liked the color, that and black. Greys, tans, and camos need not apply.

Well, everything except my range bag. My range bag, I bought three years ago, in Max-4 duck hunting camo. It's very grassy looking pattern, very unique. Why did I buy that? Because no one mistakes my grassy looking camo bag, for their, black, range bag on the range. In the line of range bags at gun school, or the gun range, or (heaven forbid) the occasional gun match, my camo'ed out duck hunters looking bag, lets me find my gear easy peasy.

-Rob

Chas S. Clifton said...

Don't trust a financial adviser who uses "tactical" in his business name either.