Tuesday, October 02, 2012

The suck.

I don't know why I'm unburdening myself here, except that it's somehow a little easier to do it to the imaginary people in my computer than it is the real people in my day-to-day life...

Some years back I had an actinic keratosis on the side of my nose, and it was treated by means of a chemotherapy-sort-of cream, which made it go away, but left a little patch of scar tissue.

Recently, that little patch of scar tissue started itching, and I scratched it, and it started bleeding...

...and it didn't stop.

And now I have a horrible-looking bleeding sore on the side of my nose that has grown noticeably despite my use of antibiotic ointment and hydrogen peroxide and aloe vera creams to stop it.

Yesterday I went to a dermatologist/cosmetic surgeon to get it looked at and, having no medical insurance, am waiting on a referral to the local teaching hospital for a biopsy.

Truthfully? I'm scared $#!+less.

If I have not been my usual chipper self these last couple months, now you know why, but I figured y'all deserved an explanation for my erratic posting and sometimes bitter retorts.

Hopefully all will be well here after some attention in the next month or two and VTFP will return to its normal cheerful snark.

Thanks for bearing with me.

180 comments:

David said...

we're here for you.

Ry Jones said...

I had something similar happen when I was a teenager. I understand the stress.

Darrell said...

Hang in there, Tam! Best wishes!

Erin Palette said...



It'll be okay, Tam. You'll be fine. You're strong, and you'll get through this.

We gunnies look after each other.

Erin Palette said...

And of course the comment ate my *hugs* because I put it in HTML brackets.

Just for that I'm hugging you again!

*HUGS*

Firehand said...

I once found a lump in my groin; I understand 'scared shitless', I really do.

Mine turned out to be a damned ingrown hair that caused the lump; I hope yours turns out to be something similarly "I was effing terrified for THAT?!?"

cap'n chumbucket said...

A tremendous amount of blood flows through the nose--as any brawler soon understands--much of it carried by "spider veins" that are very hard to see. I used to occasionally rupture a vein and it would bleed like anything, then slow down, leave an unsightly mess, which would then gradually slough off, and everything would return to normal--what ever that happened to be.

I tell you this to try to help you be calm--in all likelihood you just ruptured a spider vein and are seeing the outcome.

Relax, listen to good music, enjoy the company of good friends, and understand that odds are solidly on your side!!

We all love ya, and are pulling for you!

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Fack, Tam, don't die yet!

Brigid said...

Barkley said if you'd buy him another bag of those pig's ears you got him he'd do the Lab Tests for free.

Big Hug my friend. It's not been fun watching you go through this all this time. I'm glad you let some of it out.

The Jack said...

Damn. Here's hoping that your terrors and fears will be unfounded.

Either way, we're pulling for you. And I'm being perfectly frank on that.

Though I suspect, in reality, you'll be dragging us.

westofthewest said...

Good vibes from Calif.
((((((( Tam )))))))

Richard Blaine said...

For an eminently practical person, I do have a quirky spiritual side as a result of reading about quantum mechanics. Since Stephen Hawking and others have convinced me that magic is as likely as not and our thoughts affect our reality (some would say - form it).

I'll be thinking good thoughts for you.

Be well.

Wolfman said...

Good luck and best outcome with that. The intarwebz will be a little less entertaining for a bit, but can withstand that. Health takes precedence over snark. Be well soon!

Ancient Woodsman said...

Even among strangers, you are in good company. Although you know that many may understand, you also comprehend but none can change the feeling inside.

I have played the waiting game three times so far, and from the first been told that such cycles will be among my activities every few years for the rest of my life. No fun any time it happens. From the time of test to results I never slept much.

There are support groups. They do help sometimes.

Best wishes for a good result and an easy nights sleep for you as soon as possible.

Ken O said...

Tam, each time you are overcome with anxiety ask yourself "What is the worst thing that can happen at this moment". Did it happen? How about now? As ridiculous as it seems, it shows the futility of worrying about things beyond our control or future difficulties that may not even materialize.

Being quite fair skinned myself, and living in a South Texas Beach community, my parents have said for years that I will end up with the tin nose from Cat Ballou. I understand your fear; it turns us into bug-eyed, snappy yip-yap dogs. Recite the litany against fear fifty times and consume three quarts of the holy IPA.

Keads said...

We are here for you. One of the things that caused me much worrying some time ago (which is counter productive in its own right) was pondering a problem that had yet to be defined. It had too many variables (yes it was a part of my body, not some Calculus thing). I cannot solve a problem until it has been formed. It maybe nothing. Hell, the dental work and all of the meds for that may have made it irritable.

We Bloggers just raised over a K for the Wounded Warriors, the people for KTKC raised a boat load of money too.

For the information and daily dose of Snark you offer, I would offer to crowd source a fundraiser for ya.

The sooner the better. Oh, and when it turns out to be nothing whatever money is left you can use for an assistant to answer emails =)







is

Rustmeister said...

Hang in there, Tam. We're praying for you.

Jennifer said...

Thoughts and prayers with you. Hope it's nothing.
Seeing the lengths the men of the gun-blogosphere will go to in order to raise money to help strangers, just imagine what they'd do for one of their own. And the ladies could get involved as well.

RabidAlien said...

Prayin!

Ambulance Driver said...

I understand your fear.

But also understand that skin cancer don't want none of you. It consistently gets beaten kicked by regular people.

But you are not regular people. You'd make cancer your bitch.

I repeat, cancer don't want none of you.

In three short days, we'll be shooting guns and drinking Nerd Beer and gorging on good food, and all of your friends can help you spit in its face.

Keep your chin up.

Six said...

If you need it please let us know. Lu and I are good for a medical donation should it be necessary. Please get well and thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

We are praying for you. Let us know if we need a Nose fund.

og said...

In our prayers as always.

Jumpthestack said...

Best wishes

MonteG said...

This actually sounds similar to the random bump I got on the side of my nose years ago. The name of the type of growth escapes me, but it was basically a benign, blood vessel growth that the doctor just froze and sliced right off.

I definitely feel you on the "scared $#!+less" part, though. A few years before the nose bump, an MRI detected something in my brain and something in my spinal cord. I was definitely scared $#!+less about the brain part. As it turned out, though, the shadow in my brain was likely just a pocket of cerebrospinal fluid. The spinal cord growth was the real troublemaker. I had to have that cut out, causing permanent damage to my spine in the process.

So, I'm thinking you shouldn't worry about the nose bump bleed. There's likely something else, much more serious lurking that will get you (and each of the rest of us).

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Will keep you in my thoughts.

Chris said...

"Fear is the mind-killer . . ."

Think good thoughts, read something that will make you laugh, and you will be OK. Then you can relax and get back to being awesome. ;)

Jon Moore said...

Damn, don't wait on the bargain, get it biopsied now so you can have some peace of mind. We've got your back. Truly.

RL said...

All the best Tam

fast richard said...

I hope your fears turn out to be needless. In any case my prayers and best wishes are with you.

Michael Bane said...

Fear is indeed the mind-killer. My Sweetie and I have been where you are, Tam. Anything we can do, including a donation, just ask.

Faith, sister...

Michael B

Angus McThag said...

I had something like this inside my nose once. Antibiotics killed the stuff that was keeping it from closing and scabbing.

There's too many things it could be that aren't cancer to go into full-on panic.

Canthros said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Canthros said...

Here's hoping it's nothing serious.

Critter said...

you'll do well. i have every confidence in you.

Themadlemming said...

I'm hoping all will turn out well for you.

Kurt Remmert said...

Something from your wish list is on its way. Love your snark and insight. Our thoughts are with you.
Kurt and Karen

Anonymous said...

Whelped in the Souf means you drown everything in peroxide and daub on the neosporin. Turns out that h.p. kills new cells as efficiently as it cleanses the wound, retarding healing. Could be a factor here.

My flippance before about KTKC and prostate cancer was licensed by my own bout with shitlessness about what turned out to be benign enlargement. My hopes -and prayers like it or not- are that your fears are as unfounded as mine were. What's the saying? A fearful soul dies a thousand deaths instead of one, or something like that.

Whatever it is, you'll deal. But not alone.

PB

Hat Trick said...

I'm hoping for the best for you.l

DJ said...

Patience, patience, patience ...

Having had nine surgeries in ten years, I've learned that above all. Time passes at the same rate no matter what you do, so do what you normally do and let it pass.

Soon, you'll know what it is, and then it'll be fixed, and then it'll be just another memory.

Scott J said...

I'm a new reader so I know not your faith but I am a Christian and I pray it's His will to lay His healing touch on you.

Brad K. said...

Blessed be. I hope the (eventual) news is good.

Michael in CT said...

It is not permitted for you to be seriously ill, so get better!

Seriously, I hope and believe that this will end up being something minor and you'll be making jokes about by Thanksgiving.

Be well!!

Unknown.Rodent said...

Not knowing your take on faith and prayer, I know my faith doesn't require your belief for my prayers to be heard. I'll be praying for your speedy recovery.

W. C. Sias said...

Please let us know how we can help financially.

Tango Juliet said...

Big Internet hug for you Tam!

Everything will be alright.

Peter said...

I know you aren't much for Invisible Friends, but I'll bother him on your behalf anyway, and keep my fingers crossed for you (and tie knots in what I can't cross).

BGMiller said...

I'm not one for religion but thoughts your way.

And take comfort in this little thought...

If the lab coats piss you off you can always air one of them out.

Plenty of folks on here with land, shovels, and fuzzy memory.

BGM

Chas Clifton said...

My fair-skinned mother had to have a couple of such whittled off her in middle age. It all went OK, and it should for you too.

Professor James Moriarty said...

My sympathies Tam. I, too, have been there. Actinic Keratosis and full blown Melanoma both. And later a scare with colon cancer.

Been scared s@&$less too. Remember that a positive mindset is paramount.

I'll pray for you. So will my wife and kids.

And as the previous commenters are evidence, you aren't alone.

Jason said...

Praying hard that the creator God of the universe will display his powerful glory with a miraculous healing.

Fodder4Thought said...

I expect you don't have much truck with the religious stuff (I'm on a first name basis with God but couldn't pick my priest out of a lineup), but for what it's worth, my thoughts are with you.

Good luck and Godspeed.

DaddyBear said...

We'll be keeping you in our thoughts and prayers. I think you can tell by now that you've got a lot of people out here who care about you. Take care!

Farm.Dad said...

I have all the time in the world to talk if you need to this weekend , or extra ammo if that is needed for stress relief .

kishnevi said...

I spent three weeks in a hospital a couple of years ago with a fractured pelvis. By the first day in the rehab hospital I realized how lucky I was, compared to some of the other people in there, folks with brain injuries and such who would never walk again, and possibly never even realize they had family in the room. Meaning, there's always people who are far worse off if you look around, so don't feel lucky.

But in any case, since my Invisible Friend is the Jewish version--what's your mother's (first) name? That's how we do the prayer for the sick, and since I'm going to say Kaddish for my mother for most of the next ten months, I may as well pray for the living as well.

kishnevi said...

"Don't fell unlucky". If typos received a Pulitzer, I'd win every year.

Fiftycal said...

Don't fear, OBAMACARE is near. Anyway, you're probably young enough the death panel won't X out your "benefits". And I always thought the tin nose in "Cat Ballou" was sexy. Everybody dies. Good luck

Matt G said...

If they find it's something to whittle, do it, and don't look back. Look, you're not at all a bad looking person*, my friend, but it's your wit that I've always looked for. Some of my favorite people have had to do a bit of whittling, and are in no way detracted by it.

You're going to sail through this. You will.

____
*Quite the contrary. But don't get a big head about it.

The Great and Powerful Oz said...

I've had a couple of basal cell carcinomas removed in the past 5 years or so. Initially scared the hell out of me when I got the diagnosis. Then I wound up firing the first 3 doctors I went to see, because they were incompetent clowns. Finally found one that gave me straight answers and referred me to a MOHS surgeon.

The first three doctors wanted to drug me out of my mind and take a chunk out of my left ear. The MOHS surgeon just used a local and just took out several layers of skin. It was a really boring day in the surgeons office for me, which was good. I was also able to drive myself home instead of being drugged out of my mind.

The only thing I disagree with the doctor on is that ibuprofin is not a strong enough pain killer. If I have to do it again I'm going to insist on a five day supply of serious opiates so I can sleep through the night.

If there's anything I can do to help, feel free to contact me.

Anonymous said...

Tam,

For all you do for us, this is what your friends get suited up for. Prayers, best wishes and all the help I can give us yours.
Steve

Sebastian said...

If it makes you feel any better, which it probably won't, I would be in the exact same boat as you. I am deathly, and I mean deathly afraid of medical settings, doctors, dentists, etc. I acclimate to the fear quickly once I have go through the doctor or dentist jig because something is throwing me off, but it takes a bit to desensitize me, and given a year or so the fear comes right back if I find myself having to dial that last number to ask for help.

A few years ago a dental intern sent me to an oral surgeon because she said something on my tongue looked off, and she didn't like the looks of it. I couldn't see for life of me what she was talking about I wasn't born with, but I don't think I slept the whole waiting period to get in to see the oral surgeon.

Oral surgeon takes a look at it, and as best as he can muster without being too direct, says something like "Well, they are very careful over where you get your teeth cleaned. I see what she's talking about, but in my experience, given your age and lack of tobacco use, it's pretty much guaranteed to be nothing, but I can't be 100% sure without taking a biopsy. But just so you know, if it were me, I probably wouldn't even have the biopsy done. It's painful. But it's the only way to be 100% sure." Being the way I am, I took that as, "It's nothing, but I can't tell you that on the very rare chance it it's not, and you end up suing me for malpractice." So I walked out without scheduling the biopsy.

But I can relate. Eventually this time will come when I have to have something biopsied. It's just the way things work today. During that time I will be climbing the walls and a menace to all around me.

I think the anxiety is related to a sense of extreme individualism, probably to a fault. Once you cross that threshold, where you've run through all the tests and it's "something serious", you're kind of a dependent on the medical establishment for your survival. You're essentially forced to put your life and well-being into someone else's hands, and at the mercy of the expertise of another.

Half the reason most of us strap iron on is because at some basic, instinctual level, we're very very uncomfortable with the idea of putting our well being in at the mercy of other people.

Ed Foster said...

What Jovian Thunderbolt and Micheal in CT said. I won't be a hypocrite and say I'm praying, but I'm hopeing really hard.

Get well quick and keep us massively snarked, because that's your job and we need you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Tam,

best wishes from Australia.

If your lesion arose in an actinic keratosis then the worst it is likely to be is a squamous cell carcinoma which sounds dreadful but is a very minor problem if it is on the skin (throat, lung cervix etc are a different ball game).

I agree with the poster who said to spend the money and get it biopsied and treated now. The worst part of this is the worry. At any rate, the dermatologist who saw you would not let you wait for months, insured or not, if she/he thought it could be some nasty like melanoma! If they did you could, quite justifiably, sue their socks off.

Kindest regards and very best wishes,

mike from oz

doubletrouble said...

We're actually real people out here Tam, & we love you.
So, gin up, & all that rot.
Best wishes & prayers from the soon-to-be-frozen north.
Best, DT

Anonymous said...

Hey, Hang tough...You'll get through it...And on a side note guys dig chicks with tiny scar's...Stay Strong, Joe.

Bob said...

Best wishes for a quick and complete recovery, Tam. Prayers forthcoming.

El Capitan said...

You've got a lot of people pulling for you, Tam. Whether you call it prayer, the power of positive thinking, or just thinkin' happy thoughts, there's a whole bunch of metaphysical mojo headin' your way.

Be well, and best wishes from down Texas way.

pax said...

Dang.

Praying for you. Yeah, I know you don't believe -- but let's put it this way: If you're right about the existence of my invisible sky-friend, then my prayers will do you no harm, while if I'm right about His existence, my prayers will do you no harm. I don't see a downside on that.

Temnota said...

Strength, and know that your imaginary friends are pulling for their imaginary friend.

Yrro said...

From one imaginary person to another - good luck. I'm sure you'll whip this and laugh at it afterwards.

JohninMd(HELP!) said...

Tamara Keel, we don't know each other, other than the free ice cream I greedily take from your posts. I think I know you a little bit, your spunk, your convictions, your attitude towards life. You will beat this. I am certain of this because of two facts. 1. Only the good die young. O:-) And 2, Heaven does'nt want ya,,, and Hell's afraid your gonna take over!! B-) In all seriousness, you wil not just survive, you will thrive. THIS I BELIEVE. With love, John

Anonymous said...

Tam,

I will be praying for you.

PJ

Mark Alger said...

As it's all been said already by people probably more perspicacious than I, I am going to reach through the present to the future and pull back what I pray will be a bright, shining hope that in the not-to-distant future, this is all but a memory and, to echo your last paragraph, all is well and VTFP will shortly return to its normal cheerful -- and OH so welcome -- snark.

Be well.

M

Turk Turon said...

Tam,
You're in my thoughts, dear girl. Get well soon.
Turk

Kevin said...

I can't believe I'm first to say this, but in finest ARFCOM tradition, "Dibs on your stuff!"

Honestly, though, DIBS! ;-)

Tam, if you know anything, you know this: there are literally THOUSANDS of us, your imaginary friends, who will do whatever is necessary to help someone we all love. Get checked. Get whatever it is fixed. We've got your six. Whatever you need, be it money or a shoulder to cry on, we're here and we're not going away. The Empress of Snark has a large and loyal citizenry.

Marja said...

Good luck and best wishes.

My oldest friend had skin cancer when she was only a toddler, during the 60's. She's now 52. The cancer has never shown any signs of returning.

Ry Jones said...

I'm going to point out the donate button up there on the right of the blog. Use it.

atrius said...

You don't know me from Adam but I've been reading you for a long time. My wife has a great thing (I think) to say for something like this "hug hug". Get better soon. :-)

Geg Tag said...

Tam

Thanks for what you so freely share with all of us. I appreciate it a lot.

Ill be praying for you -

Regards

GKT

Anonymous said...

I kicked a few bucks your way. It's not much but I hope this encourages others to do the same.

Jeff said...

Sorry to hear, Good luck, I'm the same when it comes to such things. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

Old NFO said...

You're in our thoughts. Get well soon.

Craig M. said...

Praying for you Tam, hang tough.

Brian in Florida said...

Thoughts and prayers. Happy thoughts, don't let worry take over.

Micki Mahoney said...

Hang in there, Tam. As others have said, it might be a hundred other non-serious things.

It's true, we are imaginary, but we do care.

MSgt B said...

Thought I was having a bad week.

Hang tough, it'll turn out to be nothing much in the end.

Justthisguy said...

Dang, Ma'am, that just sucks. Speaking both altruistically and selfishly (I like to read yer stuff) that just sucks.

Speaking as a professing Christian, I do hope, and pray, in the name of Jesus, that you will be perfectly healed of this problem.

Oh, and stay indoors out of the actinic rays, you Person of Paleness, you!

Spud said...

Try to think positive Tam !
I know, hard for the Snark Queen !
Best wishes...

Spud

Able said...

Hi Tam

My thoughts are with you.

But follow the HHGTTG - 'Don't Panic'.

You've had a diagnosed actinic keratosis. These are common, half the global population have had them. They're, as you'll know, caused by sun damage - your pale complexion and (sometimes) sunny climate make you a prime candidate.

They are PREMALIGNANT. Yes, they CAN develop into squamous cell carcinomas, but this is quite a rare occurence (seriously epidemiologically, very rare). Also in the rare event a SCC develops from an actinic keratosis its potential for metastasis is low, and only after they have spread deeper (usually evident by a spread > 1" diameter). The bleeding, whilst I'm assuming some scare induced exaggeration on the 'won't stop' is just evidence of how vascular the nose is, and would indicate a clotting issue not the big C if not.

How do I know, well, some years working with as well as personal experience (forehead for me).

My pre (guess) diagnosis - a return of an actinic keratosis (not unusual probably due to an incomplete excision).

So, do as you are, have it biopsied, get a bigger hat and follow the advice of that Baz Luhrmann song. Then get back to being snarky as some of us depend on you.

Patrick said...

Do take a deep breath and know that many who have never met you, care all the same.

Good luck.

Al T. said...

Best wishes from South Kackalacky. Try dabbing some white vinegar on your honker. Burns like heck, but has cured a few things for me.

Al T.

Aaron said...

Tam:
Our thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope it turns out to be so inconsequential that later you can laugh about how worried you were. Best of luck and hang in there.

Sigman said...

Hi Tam,

Like many others have said, fear is the mindkiler.

And while the WORST THING is usually the 1st thing we think of, it rarely turns out to be that.

Stay Strong, mindset is everything

jimbob86 said...

Prayer far ya, Tam.....

I know, ya think it's one imaginary friend talking to his imaginary friend about and for his other imaginary friend..... but I'm with Pax: either way, no harm done, and it'll make somebody feel better. It's the best I can do at present....

Think positive, appreciate what you have, build on that.

Q: Who loves ya, Baby?

A: WE DO! - Your Imaginary friends.

perlhaqr said...

*joins Erin and Brigid and everybody else in a great big group Tam hug*

*squish*

I can't think of what you could possibly need from me, but if you think of something, Bobbi should still have my number.

Roberta X said...

'B'leive I do, Perlhaqr.

Tam, this is the single bravest thing I have ever seen you do.

Anonymous said...

Chin up.

Prayers en route.

Hang tough.

ca
wrsa

MeatAxe said...

Hang in there, Tam.

mikee said...

I came here for the cheerful snark some years back and have stayed for the excellent writing and joy de vivre.

And may I suggest telling the intern at the teaching hospital something umbrageously incongruous, just to see the look on his face? May I suggest that you are there for a foot problem, but that he has to go in through the nose, due to allergies?

Anonymous said...

Tam,

The problem with an imaginative mind is that it tends to run rampant at times. Slow it down a gear or two while you wait for results.

We will sacrifice some animals to Oden for your good health. Sorry but virgins are so damn hard to find around here.

Gerry

Ed Foster said...

And we're not imaginary. Just a bit more physically distant than some of your geographically closer friends.

BobG said...

Crossin' my fingers and wishin' you the best of luck.

OrangeNeck said...

Tam, eat more bacon. Bacon cures everything!

Fred G said...

Tam: I understand the mental crap you are going thru right now and know that you will be ok. Being of Norwegian descent with fair skin and blue eyes, and having grown up under the hot Texas sun and by God's grace reaching retirement age and beyond, I am on a first name basis with actinic keratosis--the scaly little bastards!!! I also have had a couple of them morph into either basal cell or squamous cell carcinoma. As someone said earlier, neither is typically serious or fatal.

A dermatologist who uses the Mohs Surgery technique is the best. They take just a little bit of tissue at a time on a basal or squamous cell carcinoma and immediately check it to see if the margins are clear. This technique leaves the least scaring.

Not having medical insurance makes it difficult, but IMHO the best thing to do if one is plagued with actinic is to go in at least once a year to a dermatololgist for a skin check and the doc will use liquid nitrogen to freeze and destroy the actinic's! My next check is Oct 25 and I have at least 8-10 spots that will need to be frozen on my face and head--the upside is the spots turn red and for a few days I look like I have measles and people leave me the hell alone!

Prayers are with you! Keep us posted. Off to the range to rock a couple of Glocks and run some new buckshot rounds thru my Mossberg M590A1 to see how they pattern.

Will be thinking of you,
Fred G

NAVIGATOR said...

TAMMY

YOU WILL BEAT THIS!

THE SCHNOZZOLA IS A HIGHLY VASCULAR AREA
NOT TO WORRY DIRECT PRESSURE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BLEEDING

IM CONCERNED ABOUT THE STRESS THAT YOU
ARE SUBJECTING YOURSELF TO UNNECESSARILY

YOU MUST MAINTAIN A POSITIVE ATTITUDE !
YOU HAVE THE LOVE PRAYERS HOPES GOOD
WISHES AND MORAL SUPPORT OF YOUR
LEGIONS OF FRIENDS AND FANS OF THE
ORDNANCE COMMUNITY INCLUDING ME HOW CAN YOU TOP THAT?

YOU MUST MAINTAIN A POSITIVE IMAGE OF
YOURSELF INTACT AND PERFECTLY HEALTHY
THIS MUST BE POSITIVELY REINFORCED BY
YOU MORNING NOON AND NIGHT NOT A
NEGATIVE THOUGHT MUST BE ALLOWED TO
ENTER YOUR MIND!

A COMPETENT PRACTITIONER OF MEDICAL
HYPNOSIS COULD ASSIST YOU WITH THIS

I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE IN YOU

TAM PIECE OF CAKE!
AND NIGHT

karrde said...

...and I thought arriving home after a motorcycle ride that almost ended in a sideswipe by a car was frightening.

I'll agree with the comments about noses and bleeding. While I have no personal experience with that, I have a sibling who suffered from intermittent nose bleeds for his entire childhood. His condition got worse when the air was severely dry. (Did your current bout of bleeding start during the hot-and-dry period of the past summer?)
In that case, a doctor eventually found something to cauterize that would stop the bleeding. Your case sounds different...but my medical advice is worth less than what you've paid for it.

I encourage you to get answers from someone knowledgeable.

I'll send along prayers, kind wishes, and good thoughts. There are many worse things that can happen in this world, but intermittent medical problems are worrisome.

phlegmfatale said...

I wish I didn't know the torment of what you're going through, but even moreso, I wish you weren't going through it. As everyone has said, we're here for you, you sublime creature. *hugs* from me, too. I recommend you blow something up this weekend for therapeutic purposes.

DJ said...

There. Now, aren't you glad you posted this post?

Anonymous said...

I've also had experience with AK, having had one frozen off this July. It had been on my neck for at least a year, but my initial thought was a scar from an injury I had forgotten (as a mountain biker, I've got scars in odd places). Anyway, even though it existed for at least a year before treatment, it never got any worse than the AK and was successfully treated. Like others said, AKs only turn into BCC or SCC, both of which are very treatable and not particularly life-threatening (SCCs can be, but it takes a long time)

Cost-wise, my Derm charged a grand total of about $350 before insurance was factored in for the initial consult and treatment. That covered the diagnosis/treatment and a full body check (including oral cancer screening). He also put his costs on his website, so there were no surprises. Point is, check with some derm docs in your area, you might find one that can take you sooner and not cost a huge amount. Might be worth selling a 1911 or S&W for the piece of mind...

Chris

JohninMd(help?) said...

For gearing down teh braiiiin, I prescribe Jack Daniels. Works fer me!

Thomas Smith said...

Beyond all other considerations, at least you can know how many freinds are here to support you, including me.

The Duck said...

Wishing you all the best girl!

Borepatch said...

Sometimes when Life talks, it uses its Outdoors Voice. Usually scares the heck out of me.

Good luck, and let us know what we can do.

global village idiot said...

Best wishes for a sober quack, excellent care and a speedy recovery.

gvi

Dean in Az said...

Best Advice I have seen: Get it checked ASAP, even if you have to sell a kidney. If it is Something, the sooner it is diagnosed and treated, the better.

Second piece of advice: Stop using H2O2 on it. It damages the healing tissue more than it kills the bacteria. The observation by the other commenters that the nose is very vascular is correct; it's why nosebleeds happen. If it's hard to get decent pressure on the outside, you may have to roll some 4x4 gauze up and put it in the nostril so you can get pressure on the exterior nares. use 4x4 so a good chunk sticks out the nose so it doesn't get too far up or stuck.

Other than that, Be Calm, and Carry On. WE need our daily snark, and there's no one better!

Be Well!

rickn8or said...

Late to the party again. Any cake left?

As I've learned from my recent (ongoing) medical adventure, worry is like trying to make a fast getaway on a hobby horse.

Good thoughts your way and all of my patented Strength, Courage and Healing Hugs™ you'll put up with.

Frank W. James said...

Tam: Since I closed "Corn, Beans, Spent Brass, an Empty Page and a Deadline" I don't spend much time visiting blogs like I once did.

In fact, I spend very little time surfing blogs because they are no longer a part of my life, but you and your blog are visited on an irregular basis because you are REAL, knowledgeable and intelligent.

Today's visit revealed your concerns and they have bcome mine as well now.

Because I'm a believer in Jesus Christ (not necessarily a GOOD one, but one nonetheless) I will pray for you.

We are friends at a distance, but friends nonetheless. PLease take care and remember friends DO HELP other friends in a number of ways.

Just let us know in some way what would do you the most good?...

All The Best, (I mean that sincerely)
Frank W. James

Anonymous said...

Best of luck, and bear in mind that your imaginary friends will all be pulling for you. When I had the keratosis removed from the edge of my nose, they took so little tissue that they didn't bother with the skin graft they were planning, just patched it up and sent me home. Been a bunch of years (6 or 7?) and other than a tiny little scar, no issues.

Hope you get a good doc, a clean bill of health, and a speedy recovery.

Carteach said...

Tam.... you have my E-mail. You need anything at all, ask. I mean it.

((hug)).

Just My 2¢ said...

Tam,
My skin tumor will be featured in the next textbook. It's a horrible feeling to discover that your own body is being turned against you. $mall donation coming next pay.

In the mean time, I sincerely hope that the biopsy results will allay your fears.

Sport Pilot said...

Tam,

Hang in there kiddo...

armedlaughing said...

I've had three pre-cancerous widgets removed from my face, and a half-dollar sized carcinoma removed from the center of my forehead.
And, I'm a lymphoma survivor...

I'm still here - Hang In There!

gfa

Ken said...

Prayers inbound, ETA now.

Geodkyt said...

Tam,

Reread the comments by AD, MonteG, and Matt G. Good sense there.

I'll be praying for you (regardless of your belief or or lack, I believe and I know objectively it can't hurt if i'm wrong {wink}).

Keep in mind that this is one of the medical situations where optimism is reasonable -- the most likely answers are the ones that are readily treated. Heck, as pointed out, a small region of overvascularization could be the culpret, which is benign and easily fixed.

Chin up, and be ready to do as AD predicts -- make this issue your bitch. {grin}

Rick R.

Kristophr said...

And here I was thinking it would be the face eating monkeys that finally got to you.

Good luck with the biopsy. Even if it is cancerous, you probably got it early.

instinct said...

Jennifer nailed what I was going to say. We can always chip in for one of our own.

I may be a guy who is really on the edge of the community, but I'm still here to help.

John Richardson said...

I can't give any medical advice other than get it checked out sooner than later.

We are all here for you with prayers and encouragement (and cash, if needed.)

I'm serious about that last part as well as getting it checked out soon.

Ted N said...

Even if it is something, I'm sure you'll kick it's ass. Best wishes.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Blogger says I have to sign in with an eMail Account to comment. So I'm assuming you have access to each of us. If you need anything, let me know. If you can't get hold of me through that method, send something to OldNFO,NJT, the Miller and/or Breda and they can pass it along.

What, where and when do you need it is all you have to ask. Take Care, Les.

JD(not the one with the picture) said...

Tam, I've read and enjoyed your blog for years and commented a few times. Years ago I was sick and broke and had no insurance. My friends helped me out, with money and moral support. I'm not broke anymore, so as a form of payback (or forward) and to help one who I consider a friend I hit your Paypal button.

Many other of your friends have offered to do the same and I know they will. So get that checked out now!

I hope you are posting blistering, world class snark for decades to come.

JD

Discobobby said...

Tam,
I'm only an occasional commenter and came to a blogmeet once, but you are in our thoughts and prayers. You touch people far further than you can possibly know.

Anonymous said...

You have my prayers..

Earl G. Nash
Vancouver, WA
LWD Certified Armorer for GLOCK Pistols

NotClauswitz said...

My wife recently had a thing like that taken off the side of her nose, it didn't bleed like crazy but she's light-complected and freckley too, according to her Kaiser dermatologist and Doc it's a fairly routine and common occurrence, the odball part would be if it were anything more than, that so buck up Tigerlilly!

naturegirl said...

Tam,

I'm one of the daily-for-years (but silent) imaginary friends you didn't know you had.

I have no doubt you will snark this down. Just to help your super powers - here's more good health vibes headed your way.



PhilaBOR said...

Best wishes for a quick recovery.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Any further word, Tam?

ErnestThing said...

Best wishes, Tam. You'll be in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

Tam,
I know the feeling. Best wishes to you. -- Lyle

libertyman said...

Warm thoughts and best wishes. Keep your chin up as my mom used to say.

Ed said...

See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K%C3%BCbler-Ross_model

This model works for all sorts of unpleasantness in our lives, not just the ultimate unpleasantness that we all will eventually encounter.

When you get to the point where you scream at the top of your lungs "This SUCKS!!!", because it truly does, you have reached the state of "acceptance" and are prepared to move on and deal with it. Since in the blogosphere no one can hear you scream, writing about it in your blog is the best you can do.

We are all here for you. Let us know what we can do to help you on your journey to a sense of wellness.

Be well.

blindshooter said...

You WILL be fine.

I left a small donation in your Paypal acct to help offset the large amount I owe you for all the free reading I've enjoyed here.

I pray for us all everyday but you get a specific entry tonight.

Eric said...

Wishing you a speedy diagnosis and an equally speedy recovery, should that become necessary.

Anonymous said...

I can't afford much right now but for all the enjoyment I have gotten/continue to get out of your writing I figure you deserve a little "relax and have a nice cup of something" on me. Thank you, and good thought are being sent your way. --alexis

Michael said...

In my case it was Basal Cell Carcinoma. Not a big deal except I have a divot out on the right side of my nose. I thought I was too old to be vain but it bugs the crap out of me. Get a Plastic Surgeon if it comes down to something like that. Put a little something in the ammo fund.
Michael

Hobie said...

Well, I just read this AND I said a prayer for you. We wish you the best and understand your anguish.

SayUncle said...

Here's to a speedy recovery.

BryanP said...

I hope this turns out to be something relatively minor. Whatever it may be, heal quickly.

Anonymous said...

My nose bled pretty much constantly for a month straight. When I went to the doctor he told me to stop picking my nose. It was unpleasant leaving my nose full of crusty crud in the morning, but it healed in a couple days.

Here's to your problem being equally minor.

Jeffro said...

Uhm, wow.

You realize you can call on me to do whatever I can to help you out at any time, doncha?

You're certainly going into conversations with the Man.

RevolverRob said...

As a long time reader, lover of the snark, frequent commenter, and general fan of your work, let my great hope that everything turns out well for you. I have no faith, but will maintain positive thoughts for you Tam.

I know you don't know me from Adam in person, but if you ever need someone, you drop me a line.

Best,

-Robert

OldTexan said...

Tam,
you are one of the good guys of the world and a first class warrior. I have had three winning bouts with cancer and first we pray that yours is not cancer. Second should it be a bd call knowledge is power and the more you know, the better your can handle the situation. And last you have a whole lot of fans and friends and if you have your back to wall it's good to have support and love.

Hang in there and keep us all posted and I pray that this is just a little thing that can be handled fast and easy.



Anonymous said...

Prayers up for you. Hang tough.

You have many friends that care about you.

I'll add to the comments about getting it checked out sooner than later. Whatever it is, knowing sooner is better than later, for peace of mind, or for getting it squared away.

Malamute

Alan J. said...

Our prayers and support are with you, Tam; and to quote my grandson's favorite toy, we'll be here for you, "To infinity...and beyond!"

JebTexas said...

Our prayers are with you Tam.

MattB said...

155 comments in < 24 hours is a pretty good sign that there's a whole lotta people out there covering your six, and most likely your seven, eight and nine through twenty-four as well. So yeah, you'll be fine. Recoil therapy is indicated. ( I *WAS" going to say Retail therapy, but realised that would be... contra-indicated).

MattB

Tim Ellwood said...

I have been were you are a time or two, the stressing about it is what makes it worse. E
asy to say but hard to do, stay calm if you can. My thoughts are with you that this will just be a minor thing.

Patrick said...

Best of luck, Tam - our thoughts are with you.

Anonymous said...

Prayers for you, Warrior.

-Elizabeth

elmo iscariot said...

Oy. Feel better; I look forward to reaqding the "glad that bullshit's finally over with" post.

Jim said...

No apology for your writing is necessary. Be you sick or well or in between, your literature is the light of one Hell of a lot of lives every morning.

I add my good wishes to all the others.

Best,
Jim





Unknown said...

I prayed for you.

Scott said...

I concur with Able at 7:08am yesterday. My experience is living in Mississippi for 54 years with Scotch-Irish ancestors on both sides.

Endeavour to persevere...

Crustyrusty said...

Prayers going up as we speak.

Crusty

RobertM said...

Best wishes and good luck!

Anonymous said...

I hope you find this to be a false alarm. Easy for me to say, but try to relax. You might think of it like a range exercise. sight picture, sight alignment, breath control, trigger control, break the shot, and (bang), (I hope) all gone!

RevGreg said...

Damn the torpedos and all that, keep doing what you do until you can't do it any more be it next week or decades from now. My older brother is currently undergoing chemo and radiation for a stage three tumor at the base of his esophagus...and he comes comes out of chemo each week thinking "it could be worse" from looking around him. Some of your humorous nuggets have become staples in my discourse and I am doing my best to pass them on...you are immortal!

aczarnowski said...

Thanks for sharing what's up. That couldn't have been easy.

We're wishing good things your way.

JC said...

God bless you darling. Prayers follow.

roland said...

wait, What?!

Scared shitless is an entirely acceptable response. Teh super suck is the fact medical folks don't tend to get as excited about these things as they should. I recall saying something along the lines of "so, if it's cancerous, why not take the fucking thing out NOW?" Waiting sucks. Not knowing what's gonna happen sucks. Having a bunch of people who truly give a damn about you doesn't suck. I stand with the legions who give a damn. Get well soon.

Ben said...

Here's hoping everything turns out well, ma'am.

maddmedic said...

Prayers..from my beliefs to yours.

CoolChange©© said...

My wife and I will be praying for fast healing. We know the scared part.

David said...

Tam...we're with you.

Windy Wilson said...

From my experiences during my preteen years (and those of my brothers), I can suggest Bacitracin or Neosporin, which will kind of seal the outside.
I'm sure by now the MD's have done something that did not involve Cat Ballou tin noses, and you're resting much better. Good and encouraging thoughts are directed your way, though, as they're always helpful.

Will from Bama said...

Tam, know our thoughts and prayers are with you. Please keep us updated on how this goes.

Robin said...

I am confident that things will go well. Be of good cheer and don't forget that you are an important part of many people's lives out here in the Intertubz.

Karl said...

When going through Hell, the best thing is to keep going.

Get that test and start putting this behind you.

I just read the billion comments here. Nothing can overcome the support you have from your friends.

Karl

Justthisguy said...

Phlegm, ( Oh hell, I started to write something else, but forgot about it. I blame teh kittehs. They just knocked something over).

Mike W. said...

Good luck Tam! I'm sure you'll be fine :)

Julie said...

Thoughts and prayers for you Tam.