Sunday, May 26, 2013

We have a winner!

Break out the checkered flag, folks, because I have breaking news: Tamerlane Tsarnaev has won the Indianapolis 500!

DHS and TSA are "assisting" with entry security at the race today and TV news is showing lines tens of thousands long, snaking around the block from each entrance. They're interviewing pissed off and frustrated people in the queue who will almost certainly not make it in for the start of the race. Speculation is that the lines are already so long that people in the back will probably miss most of the race, which must be swell if you drove in from Wisconsin, like one teed-off interviewee had.

It's a disaster.

Andretti Autosport and Penske Racing have had their asses kicked by Team Bin Laden, with its rookie phenom driver Tsarnaev, but Team Bin Laden couldn't have done half as well without its gifted mechanics, Bush and Obama.

EDIT: State po-po is saying "Not our fault! You should have arrived earlier! 'We're not going to compromise safety for the convenience of anyone trying to get in.'"

29 comments:

TJIC said...

> Team Bin Laden,

I think it's more Team Biden that's to blame.

Tam said...

If you'd read all the way to the period at the end of the sentence before hitting "reply", I covered that point. ;)

billf said...

Yes,but think of the children they've saved!!
Billf

Kristophr said...

Read before hitting reply?

Wicked child!

Jay G said...

I'd wager this is some of that "payback" that Valerie Jarret was talking about...

Anonymous said...

I imagine half the drivers are now on the DHS No Fly list.

Gerry

greg said...

I haven't gone to anything requiring a venue larger than 2000 people for several years for just this reason. What a pain in the rear.

No beating around the bush...I HATE standing in line...especially to then voluntarilly get cavity searched.

Just how early do they want folks to arrive? Guess you could be like NASCAR, and camp out overnight in the infield.

JD Rush said...

The DHS will have an open line to the IRS to "deal" with any whiners

Tam said...

greg,

" Guess you could be like NASCAR, and camp out overnight in the infield."

This apparently contributed to the problem. They changed the infield parking rules this year and required pre-registration, so people who had been turning up at 0500 to park in the infield for decades found themselves turned away this morning, adding to the epic traffic snarls on that side of town.

The Jack said...

Well Jay Grazio it's not like *important* people were inconvenienced, and really they should just have arrived earlier. Even if they were driving in from Walla walla.

My guess is that there wasn't a *plan* to hurt things the bitter-clingers like (if it was they'd be even more ham-fisted), but they'll welcome the effect.

It can be the new raceday tradition! Sure thanks to this the Indy500 may no longer be the sporting event with the largest attendance, but now it can be largest off-broadway theatrical production!

See Security Theater with a cast of tens of thousands!

Aesop said...

God help those who have a pressure cooker in their RV.

But please, by the love of all that's fair, tell me that they're making everyone take off their shoes too.



Horse 1
Barn-lockers 0

Will said...

I forsee half the stands empty next year. And, even emptier the following year, after TSA really gets into gear.

After a few years, they'll reduce the size of the grandstands, so it won't look so bad.

Overall, we can expect this outcome for any event that has high attendance. All in the name of making the country "safe". Although it will really be in the self interest of TSA to keep their record from being tarnished.

wv: nLakart perforation. you 'betcha...

global village idiot said...

As I type this, I have in front of me a Russian-language "gazeta" I picked up from an international grocery store in Skokie, Illinois. It has on its front-page top fold the image of the gate at Auschwitz.

Tyranny in America will not look like the NKVD and a trip to the gulag. It will look like Ronald McDonald and a trip to the mall. Which makes it all the more sinister - a truncheon with a happy-face and "Have A Nice Day" printed on it is still a truncheon.

gvi

WV: Borodino aaphsl, because why the hell not?

RabidAlien said...

@Will: I'm pretty sure they'll be able to maintain their golden streak of capturing precisely ZERO terrorists and stopping ZERO bomb plots, but ensuring that children everywhere are safe from evil mothers with nailclippers who are hell-bent on destroying their hangnails.

Scott J said...

I'm glad I was able to experience The 500 for its 75th running. A whole decade before this nation lost its mind in response to 9/11.

Being much less tolerant of crowds now than I was then I probably won't be able to treat the wife & kids to the experience until we can afford to stay in the hotel outside turn 2 and take in the race from our balcony.

This DHS nonsense just adds to my resolve for that to be the only way.

Funny, I've watch the first hour and 24 minutes of coverage on the TV (using DVR to blow through commercials) and not ONE mention of what you report. They are in on the game.

Ken O said...

But How can they afford this with the sequester and all?

Kristophr said...

Ken O.:

There is always fiscal room for JBT thuggery!

Jess said...

From the security standpoint, it's necessary. From the standpoint of the fans, the next step is to be less tolerant and those that failed to expose their terrorist friends, or family members, will find they've joined the club and will now be part of the problem...which will be fixed by methods they may find harsh.

Drang said...

Is concealed carry legal at the race course? Knives? Because if they are, I fail to see WTF the TSA is supposed to do, security-wise. Bomb dogs, maybe. I guess they can stand around and look, what's the word?, viper-ish.

WV: had higtware.

Frank W. James said...

Scott: They tore the Speedway Motel down a couple of years ago, so that option is out.

Drang: Lucas Stadium and The Indianpolis Motor Speedway are two of the areas (besides courthouses and various parts of air terminals) that our Indiana Personal Protection Permit is invalid. Can't carry no firearms at the race and it's a BIG NO-NO if you do.

As for the race, I hate the cars but I was glad to see TK win and it was a decent race what with all the passing and lead changes...

All The Best,
Frank W. James

Borepatch said...

Bet if they did that at the Superbowl, even Cletus would get a wookie suit.

Anonymous said...

And those lines didn't make an inviting target for violence, oh no sirrie-bob.

Bah.

FiftycalTX said...

I was going to come to Indy, but this is just the 97th race. I want to be there for the 100th. Til then I'll save up my money for a box seat for the F1 race here. I did rent my house for 4 days for $10,000 to some europeons. There was no DHS check points at last years F1. I guess Obama doesn't care if somebody in Texas gets blowed up.

Anonymous said...

Frank - Where do you get your information on concealed carry permits not being valid at the track? I cannot find anything on the IMS website that says firearms are not permitted.

As for searches coming in, in the past all it involved was opening your bags and coolers to show that you didn't have anything obviously dangerous. The only difference I saw this year was an extra guy holding a stick next to your cooler to see if it was too big before he let you take it in anyways (two guys ahead of me had WAY oversized coolers and were allowed to go on in). I fully expected pat downs this year but that was not the case.

Tam said...

FiftycalTX,

"There was no DHS check points at last years F1."

There weren't any at last year's Indy 500, either.

Phssthpok said...

From Lyle over at Joe's place yesterday (though i just read it this morning):

How else do you explain a thousand Jews guarded by a pathetic few Germans, while no one organizes a rush against the guards to easily overpower them? It wasn’t merely the lack of arms, but the lack of hutzpah THAT RESULTED iN the lack of arms. This is currently the state of all of Europe, the UK, and it’s becoming the case in the U.S.

Matt G said...

Terrorism 101:
1: Big scary attack.
2. Government over-responds.
3. Backlash by people against government.

Dear, feds: this is a very simple recipe, but they can't get to #3without you contributing #2.

Stop helping them, and providing incentive for more attacks.

And, seriously, bringing in the TSA, too? Has the TSA ever been part of anything that didn't "muck and sail*"??

________________
*Hint: I'll spot you an S and an F.

Frank W. James said...

Anon: in a casual conversation with an Indiana State Trooper after I overheard a conversation of concern by troopers at the track.

Look up invalid places for Indiana Personal Protection Permit in the Burns Statues and I'm sure it will turn up.

It was added when they made an exception for the NEW Lucas Oil Stadium...

All The Best,
Frank W. James

TS said...

"we're not going to compromise the safety of those trying to watch the race for the convenience of being able to watch the race."