RX: "We're coming down to the wire! It's the final debate tonight and the score is tied at one-all. Tensions are high, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone gets their nose bitten off..."
Me: "You know, I'd vote for the one that did that."
RX: "What, the biter or the bite-ee?"
Me: "The guy who bit his opponent's nose off and then raised his fist in the air and howled at the moon with the blood of his foe running down his cheeks. #%$@ it, we need a warlord for the Apocalypse."
RX: "That'd make a good campaign slogan. You think Mourdock'd use it?"
(Any bets on how long it takes for the humorless lecture on the Non-Aggression Principle to show up in comments? Side bets on whether it arrives before or after the finger wagging about how the president isn't a leader and we aren't electing a king and yadda-yadda.)
30 comments:
Hey, I'm in for the Howling. Crash our swords on our shields, too. Yee-HAH!!!
Can't we just resolve this issue peacefully by pulling a magical sword from a stone like George Washington did.
Gerry
I want a President whose musical library is less Fleetwood Mac and more Ozzy. I think Bark at the Moon could make a good campaign song...
Oh Jeeze, just think time is coming when we'll elect a president who grew up listening to Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj.
Yeah, I'd vote for a President who listens to CCR, Alabama, and Led Zeppelin or even one that listened to Johnathan Coulton, No More Kings, and Ben Folds Five.
We're not electing a Messiah like we did last time either.
Personally, I'd like to hear one of them support a Policy in regards to those Head Chopping, Women Stoning, Homicide Bombing, Girl's School Poisoning IslamoFascists that includes "...hearing the Lamentations of their Women."
It will be amusing to see the guy with the commercial with Morgan Freeman telling us about how you-know-who is dead, the troops are coming home, and We Won (although no one's really using that phrase, now that I think about it) insist that the problem with Libya is the other guy asking embarrassing questions about setting up security for the consulate on the honor system.
I'm not voting for a Messiah, I'm voting to fire a Very Naughty Boy.
Mike James
Waxing gibbous moon tonight. No howling.
Sorry.
gvi aka Buzz Killington
Can we just settle for blocking off all the doors into the debate venue, cutting a hole in the ceiling, and occasionally throwing weapons and maybe some food or water for them to fight over in this new televised Thunderdome?
That's what it would take for me to watch the debate instead of the NLCS game 7.
"You know, I'd vote for the one that did that."
Mike Tyson or the face eating monkey?
Tyson's aim was off but the monkey went a little overboard. Tough call.
Of course anything is better than the face eating bacteria we have presently or the alternative vote for the leprosy candidate.....
No bet...LOL
A lot of dead and mutilated Afghans and GIs would argue that he is a warlord for the Apocalypse.
How 'bout someone who, just before the "Here's what we're going to do" press conference after the next terrorist act, walks up to the podium with 'March of Cambreadth' playing in the background?
The heck with electing someone who listens to Nicki Minaj, let's just elect Nicky Minaj herself. It won't be any worse than the choice we have before us now.
global village idiot said...
Waxing gibbous moon tonight. No howling.
Sorry.
Aww....total buzzkill!
IDEA HAVE THE CANDIDATES SIT FOR AN EXAM
IN US AND WORLD HISTORY ESSAY QUESTIONS
ONLY NO MULTIPLE CHOICE EXTRA CREDIT FOR
UNDERSTANDING THE BILL OF RIGHTS THE CONSTITUTION AND THE OATH OF OFFICE PERTAINING THERETO ILL ADMINISTER THE EXAM
Okay, but someone else is going to be grading the one on grammar, syntax, and punctuation.
Indoor voice!
Mike James
I'd rather see someone go all Billy Hayes a la Midnight Express and bite out a tongue.
Now that would be Pure D entertainment, I tell ya!
Hmm, I'm confused. Isn't biting of noses sort of a Zombie thing? Unless you were thinking the Biter would be the leader of the zombies.
Hmm Government Zombies - yeah that works.
"Hmm Government Zombies - yeah that works."
We have that now. They’re called bureaucrats.
We DO need a leader.
The problem is that too many Americans are lazy #*^%s that think "leader" means someone to think and act for them, rather than someone to motivate and inspire.
We have that now. They’re called bureaucrats.
Jeez, are you some kind of doofus that can't spot the difference between zombies and vampires? The rent-a-crown union goons at the rallies are the zombies. Bureaucrats are bloodsuckers.
I can't believe I sat through another entire debate and no one got bitch-slapped.
Nose-biting was too much to hope for.
Shoot, I'd be happy to see an actual debate instead of a joint press conference. Each candidate gets 30 min to lay out their view on any particular topic, then another 30 to respond to whatever the other guy said. Afterward, the libertarians get to spend half an hour explaining to everyone why both of them are wrong.
Blogger rickn8or said...
We're not electing a Messiah like we did last time either.
Actually that is sort of exactly what the Mormon doctrine states Romney will be...
Just passing along what my family is saying about Mitt, and they are all devout Mormons.
But Spud, are the members of your family Mormon Theologians? I was not aware that any living person could actually be the Messiah unless he came AS the Messiah, and I don't see Mr. Romney doing that.
See, Tam, you really do admire a genuine Alpha Male (as do I).
Unfortunately, no genuine guys of that type seem to be running for President.
Oh, God, I miss the late Cap'n Lex. All of the wimmin wanted to bear his babies, and all of us men wanted him to lead us into combat against the evil wrong people.
Windy --
Google "Mormon theosis"
LDS dogma believes all believers have the opportunity to become "joint heirs" with Christ, to the point of becoming one with Him, thus, becoming, in effect, the Messiah.
It's a big sticking point with some orthodox (note lower case -- not just the Eastern branch of Christianity, but pretty much ALL Nicene Christians, including Eastern Orthodox, Anglicans, Catholics, and most Protestants) Christian theolgians in defining Mormons as "Christian".
http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQ_theosis.shtml
So we've gone from waiting for "THE Messiah" to every last one of us having the potential to being "A Messiah" if only we'd get with the program?
Maybe I've missed something, but I haven't seen many Mormons around the world vying militarily to conquer huge nations so as to be worshipped as gods as did the Caesars and other kings of the ancient world, but perhaps they just haven't hit the news yet. I suspect that when translated into real life, Mormon Theosis works a lot like common ownership of natural resources. If everyone owns it, in reality no one owns it, so with Mormon Theosis, when everyone can become the Messiah, in reality no one ever actually is.
Windy, as somebody who attends a traditional Anglican church (run by a mission out of Africa to bring the Gospel to the White Heathens) I always puzzle myself about the Mormons. They are such nice people, and behave correctly and politely in public, but their theology seems to be just this side of $cientology. I believe there was a South Park episode about this.
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