Friday, September 24, 2010

Boobastank.

James Bond, your... uh... bra is ready.

In these preparedness-crazy times, you just knew that sooner or later somebody was going to introduce tactical frilly underthings:
The Emergency Bra is an example of a public risk management tool that can provide a person with a critical time window that might be sufficient to escape from life threatening environments.
That's right! In a pinch you can just lift, and separate yourself and a friend from noxious fumes and even airborne iodine-131 particles. Is Victoria's Secret that she can't offer you protection against WMDs? Makes you wonder what's so wonderful about a Wonderbra, eh?

Save yourself and the tatas! Be the first kid on your block to own an E-Bra!


(I will admit that there has been the occasional hot summer day when I might have just taken my chances with the radiation...)

19 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

"I'm over sensitive to environmental particles. More so than regular people. I'm having trouble breathing. Quick, lose your top! It's an emergency!"

Yeah, gonna have to remember that line.

Nick Pacific said...

In the time it takes to debra and convince your dependent to don your underwear on his/her face in the event of an emergency that would REQUIRE this, what will all the people around you who just covered their mouth with a sleeve say between bursts of laughter?

Anonymous said...

You can take hre bra but not her FREEDOM!

Tam said...

Nick Pacific,

"what will all the people around you who just covered their mouth with a sleeve say between bursts of laughter?"

That depends. Is it a tactical emergency sleeve?

Kevin said...

I know what Victoria's Secret is.


Vickie's a slut.

(I forgot the name of the comedian who originally came up with that gag, but not the gag.)


[wv: amburac - where ambulance drivers sleep]

pax said...

After reading this, my day is complete. I'm going back to bed now...

fast richard said...

The disposable dust masks pioneered by 3M were developed from an idea for a bra manufacturing technique and material. I guess the idea has come full circle.

D.W. Drang said...

And who knows? When she goes for her e-bra, the act of flashing Achmed may so distract him that he forgets to set off his WMD...

jimbob86 said...

Just askin', but ..... what would prevent a regular bra from being used in such a fashion? Necessity being the wet nurse of invention, and all.....

Joanna said...

Doesn't this leave the Itty Bitty Titty Club a bit high and dry?

(Not that I'm a member ... )

McVee said...

This and some cargo pants filled with duct tape and granola bars for my Wife and I'm set for any disaster that may come on date night!

Tam said...

I'm just mad because I forgot to work "Cross my heart!" in there someplace.

Matt G said...

They could be areola help, in times of emergency.

If taken off quick enough, they could really nip a crisis in the bud.

;)

Keads said...

Is it good for 18 or 24 hours?

Anonymous said...

Sooooo.......
It's no longer motor boating it's a an emergency preparedness audit.

Good to know.

Anonymous said...

Only if it comes in camo.

Is there a similar item for men, somehow? Otherwise it's sex discrimination, I tell you!. -- Lyle

jimbob86 said...

re: IBTC being high and dry....

Ummm... er.... couldn't they *augment* the lack of cup material with a t-shirt? The straps are still long enoungh....

...it ain't like folks are gonna notice, anyhow....

Living in Babylon said...

Two Words: MOLLE pouches.

Jayne said...

I'll be in my bunk...