Friday, September 17, 2010

Things I Don't Get, Part the Whateverth,

So it turns out that the chick in Portland who was the victim of the acid attack was also the perpetrator.

That is nutty, right there. What possible cranial malfunction could cause you to want to permanently disfigure yourself with acid in order to get fifteen minutes on the local news, in between the weather report and the commercials for Bob's Discount Siding Warehouse?

I realize that "Being On TV" is the great aspiration of a disturbingly large part of our populace, but couldn't you choose a less painful way to do it and one that didn't cause small children to flinch at the sight of your face for the rest of your life? I guess you have to put forth a little more personal effort if you don't have a kid you can stash in the crawlspace while telling the local Five-Oh that he was kidnapped by a runaway weather balloon, but it shouldn't cause actual physical pain.

19 comments:

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

And why did it have to be an imaginary black woman that disfigured you crazy-acid-lady? Huh? Why couldn't it have been a Swede or somesuch? You don't have to hate AND be crazy, munchausen-acid-lady.

Tam said...

NJT,

Oy, veh! I missed that part the first time 'round.

staghounds said...

Could it have been an accident of some kind, and she just decided to blame it on an assault?

I hope so, it's sad even if she didn't do it to herself on purpose..

Anonymous said...

She should have blamed it on Laplanders. Then no one would have doubted her.

Gerry

Grant Cunningham said...

I'll have you know that the weather comes on very late in the newscasts here, and her story was always near the top of the newscast - sandwiched in a very coveted spot between ads for NutriSystem and Mattress World.

Weer'd Beard said...

"I realize that "Being On TV" is the great aspiration of a disturbingly large part of our populace, but couldn't you choose a less painful way to do it and one that didn't cause small children to flinch at the sight of your face for the rest of your life?"

I'd imagine showing up to the next reality try-outs and shitting in your pants is all you need to be a viral video.

And you just can shower away the offending matter...I assume people like this shame isn't really an issue.

Nathan said...

Hmm, this sounds like an escalation of "cutting", where the teen girls cut themselves with knives...

Either way, Tam's spot on: This chick is bugnuts.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't surprise me at all. It's the Left Coast.

Plenty of seriously crazy people out here. Seattle perhaps worse than Portland.

It's one of the reasons that I have a job, after all.

D.W. Drang said...

300 years ago she would have been seeing witches dancing with Satan.

Ken said...

Sad story. If she really did it to herself deliberately, it's questionable as to whether the taxpayers or the other members of her insurance risk pool ought to have any obligation to pick up the tab for further treatment.

1911Man said...

Yes, absolutely bat-shit crazy.

Or, as we call 'em here in Portland, "the locals".

And they VOTE...

jimbob86 said...

Munchausen Syndrome.... Splains it.

GuardDuck said...

For reals, the semi-official city slogan here is "Keep Portland Wierd".

Bumper stickers found on a plethora of subaru wagons, prius'(prii?) and anything tagged with biofuel.

B Smith said...

So far, I have been successful in my bid to keep my ugly mug OFF TeeVee. Now if I could find a way to distance myself (waaaay distant) from the kind of nutters that do this sh*t in a bid to grab their 15 minutes, I'd be really happy.

Anonymous said...

she is most likely a liberal bleeding-heart do-gooder twinkie twitchy apologist trying to cast doubts on all of the 'obamunist' generated crimes that are committed...

Anonymous said...

I think it was Some Puerto Rican Guy. Or maybe Tawana Brawley did it to her, and Al Sharpton is somehow involved. -- Lyle

reflectoscope said...

See squirrel poop, nuttier than.

Jim

Paul said...

Van Munchen Syndrome

dr mac said...

Some people will do anything for attention, even suicide. Which begs the question- can you ever get all the attention you want if your dead ?