Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tool-using apes.

Marko shows off his field-improvised neck knife.

Some people get all clutch-the-pearls at the sight of a knife, which strikes me as utterly bizarre. How come H. habilis could see the utility of keeping a sharp rock handy, but the concept seems to elude H. cubiculum? Hardly a day goes by that my pocket knife doesn't see use: opening letters, opening packages, breaking down boxes, trimming loose threads on clothing...

With a modern compact flashlight, a small butane lighter, and a halfway decent pocket knife and/or multitool, it's possible for any casually-dressed person to have a good chunk of the "Scout Outdoor Essentials" on their person at all times. (I keep the rest in the trunk of the car...) Being able to fend for one's self, if only long enough for help to arrive, is just part of being an adult.

36 comments:

Craig said...

The Mora reminds me of the Finnish pukka knife that I've had/used for 40 years. The only difference seems to be the handle design. But then, when these traditional knives originated nationalism was just a far off concept in those northern latitudes.

Randy said...

It's interesting that Mike B thinks that carrying a knife indicates somebody wants to cut keep sakes off of their victims. If he knew you carried a lighter he would declare you an arsonist.

Bob said...

"With a modern compact flashlight, a small butane lighter, and a halfway decent pocket knife and/or multitool, it's possible for any casually-dressed person to have a good chunk of the "Scout Outdoor Essentials" on their person at all times."

Word. These days you can get most of those on a key ring, along with a compact whistle and button compass.

BGMiller said...

I actually feel bad for MikeB.
Going through life with so much fear is hard for me to imagine.


BGM

BobG said...

I was raised that you should never leave the house without a blade and means for starting a fire.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

All you miss is a cup and a spoon. Flatware and cutlery is what separates us from the animals.

Tam said...

There's a spork in my turse. The water's already bottled. ;)

Mycroft said...

The key phrase is "... just part of being an adult."
Civilized society doesn't hold much appreciation for the concept of "adult" except to denote sexual activities.
I once had a boss at work gasp when I pulled out a pocket knife to open a box. He has since moved to New Jersey, which seems fitting.

farmist said...

Mycroft +1 - beat me to it by 15 min.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Good idea, but I already have stuff around my neck that I need, like the string that keeps my glasses on my head so I can still see past 50 yards. But that's my curse. I like to keep a P-38 Can Opener on my Key Ring. Never can tell when you're stuck holding a can of Beenie Weeines and have no GE Under Cabinet Can Opener available. Also good for Fingernail cleaning, getting the Ice out of your Door Locks, Emergency Flat Bladed Screwdriver, etc.

BTW, for Mike B. : it's a Tool, you Tool. But since the only work you do is to shove Cheetos into your gullet, you might not get it.

Gewehr98 said...

After reading Mike B's response on Marko's blog, I'm curious if the term "douchebag" has the same meaning in the UK that it does here.

Tam said...

Gewehr98,

Were he not so ill-mannered, I'd feel bad making mock of such a soft and toothless rabbit-creature. As it is, I just ignore the pile-ons because the eagle does not hunt the fly. ;)

Kristopher said...

BGMiller: It ain't fear of crime that drives MikeB-number.

He's a felon and a fugitive living outside the US. He is driven by fear of retribution at the hands of his victims.

Don't pity him. I want him to fear us.

Larry said...

Care to elaborate, Kristopher? What did he do, and why can't he be extradited?

Drang said...

Just remember to keep the butane lighter warm.
I haven;t been following the saga of MikeB########, so was unaware that he was a fugitive in flight, etc. Am mildly annoyed that his blog gets more hits than mine, although I am told that most of those hits are fellow gun bloggers looking for easy prey. And WV is "tailess". which seems appropriate.

Weer'd Beard said...

What fucking floors me is when somebody ASKS me to open something for them with their knife, and you STILL see that holophobic flash of fear when they catch sight of my knife.

God they'd shit brown rivers if they knew I also had a .45 under my coat that wasn't very useful for opening boxes, but had its own utility...

Brigid said...

Heck, even the trunk money probably had a good Gerber.

P.S. A batch of Scandahovian dough was sacrified in the pot of boiling oil this morning. A half dozen of the starry little guys were put aside with your name, the rest go to E's Christmas party.

Sport Pilot said...

A neck knife isn’t a bad idea and Marko’s comment’s about its utility in cold weather is sage advice. As for me I keep a small gear bag in my cruiser and truck with the bare bone’s basic disaster gear.

Thomas said...

"Gewehr98 said...

After reading Mike B's response on Marko's blog, I'm curious if the term "douchebag" has the same meaning in the UK that it does here."

You would have to talk to Laci the Chinese Crested, about douche-bagery in the UK, I understand that he is the admin on the DB-UK newsletter.

Poor little retarded MikeyB-3,020,000,000,000,000,000,000, lives in Italy and works for the UN, They don't have a felony status entry on their employment docs, they figure, it would cut into the hiring of such stellar workers they have going there the last 66 years.....

Anonymous said...

Bubblehead Les. said>>I like to keep a P-38 Can Opener on my Key Ring.

Slight derail, but them damn P-38s keep wearing a hole in my pocket. Wrap the thing in tape and you get something I'm not really willing to use to open cans anymore. Maybe you don't keep them in your pocket? Any tips?

NJT said>>All you miss is a cup and a spoon. Flatware and cutlery is what separates us from the animals.

...And here I thought it was fire and using tools to make better tools.

Some of the silicon bakeware out there makes pretty spiffy ersatz tableware for around the campfire. There is even some purpose-made backpacking gear

-SM

Anonymous said...

..Actually, the opener on my leatherman will get me inside a can slightly faster than a P-38. Plus, it's stainless steel and easier to clean than the "dirtiest inch in the kitchen".
-SM

Ed Foster said...

The Mora knife has to be the best buy of all time in cutlery. It's a lamination, with two tough springy layers on either side, and a very hard center section that takes an absolutely brilliant edge.

SM 'nonymous, I never have a problem with two wraps of Scotch tape around my P-38. The two or three times a year I have to use it, I just rewrap it when I get the chance.

Don said...

I wonder what poor Mikey would have thought yesterday at the Blogmeet?

Firehand said...

Reminds me of the friend who, at the library, saw one of the ladies struggling with opening a box; walked over, "May I help?", pulled out the Swiss Army Knife and cut the tape.
Library lady: "You're not supposed to have weapons in the library!"
He very nicely stated, "This isn't a weapon it's a tool. For things like opening boxes." She still gave him the nasty glare.

My first thought would have been to reply "Then open your own damned boxes with your teeth from now on." Much less tolerance for this kind of crap than I used to have.

og said...

I keep my P38 on my keychain. Between the big housekey and the big work key, it keeps the p38 from opening. And it's useful for all sorts of things, aside from opening cans.

the pawnbroker said...

You just know from Mike's tone that he believes "neck knife" describes how it is used, not how it's carried...and further that everyone who has one is a wannabe Jack the Ripper.

Marja said...

Graig, it's written puukko.

I have to admit that many Finns go for Mora too, they are cheaper, and as good, as most of our own brands.

I mostly carry folding knives, they are easier to hide. It's illegal to carry a larger knife in your person in towns, I have to admit most of mine are probably too big but I'm kind of counting on looking too harmless to get into trouble over it (overweight middle aged aunt type) and if I ever get caught I intend to act all stupid about that particular rule... Have to say I miss the times when I worked in Lapland and could carry a large puukko on my belt openly.

Panamared said...

I keep a p38 in my wallet there is always a corner on my tri-fold that doesn't get used. The only problem is remembering it's there when going through metal detectors.

Beaumont said...

Preach on, brothers and sisters.

And BTW, electrical tape seems to work better for wrapping the P38 than Scotch tape.

global village idiot said...

I took the hint of putting a Mora around my neck from Mors Kochanski.

For the longest time I had a Mora on my dog tag chain, which also held the key to my wall locker, one of those dinky LED lights I'm so fond of, and a p-38.

Lost the dog-tags and the knife, pity.

Only complaint I ever had about it is that the dog tag chain is about an inch too short for such a use. Otherwise it's ideal.

Mr. Kochanski, in his book Bushcraft, details how to cut down a small sapling with a Mora. I've tried it - it takes a certain knack, but it works.

I used to have larger knives. My personal favorite was the AF Pilot's knife (called a "Jumpmaster Knife" in the 82nd). I still have mine but I no longer use it. Now it's down to a Mora, an Opinel No.8, and a Swiss Army Knife. All I've ever needed.

gvi

WV: parstch - like a putsch only no beer.

benEzra said...

"He's a felon and a fugitive living outside the US."

Is there a source for this? Violent felony, white-collar crime, or just accidentally mowing the wrong species of fern?

Andrew S. said...

@ benEzra:

http://www.wallsofthecity.net/2009/10/mikeb302000_lying_criminal.html

JimB said...

I put a small piece of heat shrink tubing on my P-38. Keeps the blade closed without any adhesive. Can be moved easily to open the blade.

Anonymous said...

I was at a birthday party this weekend with a half-dozen 7-ish year old girls.
They were struggling to get the ribbon off one of the presents, so I stepped in with my knife (a 3" spyderco).

They all let out a synchronized "whoah!" noise like they had never seen a knife before, and I heard some mumbling from some of the parents, too.

We're doing strange things to our civilization.

Linoge said...

A better source for MikeB302000's criminal history would be a post put together by Bob S. Granted, the dots are not connected as firmly as I might like, but methinks I see a pattern.

More to the point, if I see a person without a knife on their body, I wonder why, rather than the other way around...

Scott said...

I use a short piece of rubber tubing to hold the blade closed on my P-38.