Monday, October 22, 2012

Overheard in the Hallway

The TeeWee announcer is hyping the debate tonight. Bobbi is mocking the hype...
RX: "We're coming down to the wire! It's the final debate tonight and the score is tied at one-all. Tensions are high, and I wouldn't be surprised if someone gets their nose bitten off..."

Me: "You know, I'd vote for the one that did that."

RX: "What, the biter or the bite-ee?"

Me: "The guy who bit his opponent's nose off and then raised his fist in the air and howled at the moon with the blood of his foe running down his cheeks. #%$@ it, we need a warlord for the Apocalypse."

RX: "That'd make a good campaign slogan. You think Mourdock'd use it?"

(Any bets on how long it takes for the humorless lecture on the Non-Aggression Principle to show up in comments? Side bets on whether it arrives before or after the finger wagging about how the president isn't a leader and we aren't electing a king and yadda-yadda.)

30 comments:

John said...

Hey, I'm in for the Howling. Crash our swords on our shields, too. Yee-HAH!!!

Anonymous said...

Can't we just resolve this issue peacefully by pulling a magical sword from a stone like George Washington did.

Gerry

Wolfman said...

I want a President whose musical library is less Fleetwood Mac and more Ozzy. I think Bark at the Moon could make a good campaign song...

Woodman said...

Oh Jeeze, just think time is coming when we'll elect a president who grew up listening to Ke$ha and Nicki Minaj.

Yeah, I'd vote for a President who listens to CCR, Alabama, and Led Zeppelin or even one that listened to Johnathan Coulton, No More Kings, and Ben Folds Five.

rickn8or said...

We're not electing a Messiah like we did last time either.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Personally, I'd like to hear one of them support a Policy in regards to those Head Chopping, Women Stoning, Homicide Bombing, Girl's School Poisoning IslamoFascists that includes "...hearing the Lamentations of their Women."

Anonymous said...

It will be amusing to see the guy with the commercial with Morgan Freeman telling us about how you-know-who is dead, the troops are coming home, and We Won (although no one's really using that phrase, now that I think about it) insist that the problem with Libya is the other guy asking embarrassing questions about setting up security for the consulate on the honor system.

I'm not voting for a Messiah, I'm voting to fire a Very Naughty Boy.

Mike James

global village idiot said...

Waxing gibbous moon tonight. No howling.

Sorry.

gvi aka Buzz Killington

The Raving Prophet said...

Can we just settle for blocking off all the doors into the debate venue, cutting a hole in the ceiling, and occasionally throwing weapons and maybe some food or water for them to fight over in this new televised Thunderdome?

That's what it would take for me to watch the debate instead of the NLCS game 7.

GuardDuck said...

"You know, I'd vote for the one that did that."

Mike Tyson or the face eating monkey?

Tyson's aim was off but the monkey went a little overboard. Tough call.

Of course anything is better than the face eating bacteria we have presently or the alternative vote for the leprosy candidate.....

Old NFO said...

No bet...LOL

staghounds said...

A lot of dead and mutilated Afghans and GIs would argue that he is a warlord for the Apocalypse.

Firehand said...

How 'bout someone who, just before the "Here's what we're going to do" press conference after the next terrorist act, walks up to the podium with 'March of Cambreadth' playing in the background?

ASM826 said...

The heck with electing someone who listens to Nicki Minaj, let's just elect Nicky Minaj herself. It won't be any worse than the choice we have before us now.

taylor said...

global village idiot said...
Waxing gibbous moon tonight. No howling.

Sorry.


Aww....total buzzkill!

NAVIGATOR said...


IDEA HAVE THE CANDIDATES SIT FOR AN EXAM
IN US AND WORLD HISTORY ESSAY QUESTIONS
ONLY NO MULTIPLE CHOICE EXTRA CREDIT FOR
UNDERSTANDING THE BILL OF RIGHTS THE CONSTITUTION AND THE OATH OF OFFICE PERTAINING THERETO ILL ADMINISTER THE EXAM

Anonymous said...

Okay, but someone else is going to be grading the one on grammar, syntax, and punctuation.

Indoor voice!

Mike James

Jeffro said...

I'd rather see someone go all Billy Hayes a la Midnight Express and bite out a tongue.

Now that would be Pure D entertainment, I tell ya!

Richard Blaine said...

Hmm, I'm confused. Isn't biting of noses sort of a Zombie thing? Unless you were thinking the Biter would be the leader of the zombies.

Hmm Government Zombies - yeah that works.

HerrBGone said...

"Hmm Government Zombies - yeah that works."

We have that now. They’re called bureaucrats.

Buzz said...

We DO need a leader.
The problem is that too many Americans are lazy #*^%s that think "leader" means someone to think and act for them, rather than someone to motivate and inspire.

Steve Skubinna said...

We have that now. They’re called bureaucrats.

Jeez, are you some kind of doofus that can't spot the difference between zombies and vampires? The rent-a-crown union goons at the rallies are the zombies. Bureaucrats are bloodsuckers.

MSgt B said...

I can't believe I sat through another entire debate and no one got bitch-slapped.

Nose-biting was too much to hope for.

DanH said...

Shoot, I'd be happy to see an actual debate instead of a joint press conference. Each candidate gets 30 min to lay out their view on any particular topic, then another 30 to respond to whatever the other guy said. Afterward, the libertarians get to spend half an hour explaining to everyone why both of them are wrong.

Spud said...

Blogger rickn8or said...

We're not electing a Messiah like we did last time either.

Actually that is sort of exactly what the Mormon doctrine states Romney will be...
Just passing along what my family is saying about Mitt, and they are all devout Mormons.

Windy Wilson said...

But Spud, are the members of your family Mormon Theologians? I was not aware that any living person could actually be the Messiah unless he came AS the Messiah, and I don't see Mr. Romney doing that.

Justthisguy said...

See, Tam, you really do admire a genuine Alpha Male (as do I).

Unfortunately, no genuine guys of that type seem to be running for President.

Oh, God, I miss the late Cap'n Lex. All of the wimmin wanted to bear his babies, and all of us men wanted him to lead us into combat against the evil wrong people.

Geodkyt said...

Windy --

Google "Mormon theosis"

LDS dogma believes all believers have the opportunity to become "joint heirs" with Christ, to the point of becoming one with Him, thus, becoming, in effect, the Messiah.

It's a big sticking point with some orthodox (note lower case -- not just the Eastern branch of Christianity, but pretty much ALL Nicene Christians, including Eastern Orthodox, Anglicans, Catholics, and most Protestants) Christian theolgians in defining Mormons as "Christian".

http://www.jefflindsay.com/LDSFAQ/FQ_theosis.shtml

Windy Wilson said...

So we've gone from waiting for "THE Messiah" to every last one of us having the potential to being "A Messiah" if only we'd get with the program?
Maybe I've missed something, but I haven't seen many Mormons around the world vying militarily to conquer huge nations so as to be worshipped as gods as did the Caesars and other kings of the ancient world, but perhaps they just haven't hit the news yet. I suspect that when translated into real life, Mormon Theosis works a lot like common ownership of natural resources. If everyone owns it, in reality no one owns it, so with Mormon Theosis, when everyone can become the Messiah, in reality no one ever actually is.

Justthisguy said...

Windy, as somebody who attends a traditional Anglican church (run by a mission out of Africa to bring the Gospel to the White Heathens) I always puzzle myself about the Mormons. They are such nice people, and behave correctly and politely in public, but their theology seems to be just this side of $cientology. I believe there was a South Park episode about this.