In a sweeping move to incentivize the development of burger-flipping robots, Seattle has jacked the city's minimum wage to $15 an hour. This is going to be phased in gradually and will apply to big businesses first, because everybody knows that size is evil and must be mocked and punished, whether it's in corporations, SUVs, or the kid with the Star Wars lunchbox on the playground.
The only things that should be allowed to be big are things that let us feel virtuous, like whales, redwoods, or government!
Franchisees will apparently be punished along with their corporate overlords. It doesn't matter if you only own the one storefront and have five employees, counting your wife and kid, Mr. Subway: You're the face of Big Sandwich, and you're getting both barrels of our faux-proletariat parlor revolutionary outrage, right alongside your masters in Bridgeport. #OccupyFiveDollarFootLongs!
Well, Seatllites, get ready for long(er) checkout lines. In retrospect, though, it's not like you couldn't see this coming.
As a homework assignment, I'm off to find out how many people on the city council there have ever had to make a payroll or even fill out an employee schedule.