...came this neat little gizmo from FLC Knives: A "Get Off Me" Tool #4. It's a carbon fiber tube with one end cut at a sharp angle and the other wearing a ferrule and eraser, and the whole thing covered in what appears to be a woodgrain decal.
It's innocuous-looking enough, and appears to be fairly stout:
It definitely tripped my "Neato Secret Agent Gizmo" levers, and looks like it would take a pretty generous core sample of dirtbag for later DNA testing by the po-po. My gun burkha does have dedicated pen/pencil pockets... Hmmm...
FCC Disclaimer: I shelled out my own shekels for this, so go piss up a rope, .gov.