"Oh, my God! Can you believe what that [harpy/moron], [Pelosi/Trump] just did? [She/He] wants to [raise your taxes to 100% to send crackheads to college/kill all the brown people]!"Because surely every right-thinking person is as worked into a total lather over this issue as they are.
Look, if you can't even talk about politics without sounding even more distraught than [Alex Jones/the average NPR call-in listener], it's time for a complete news fast. I prescribe three weeks without FaceTwitter, talk radio (either AM or NPR flavored), and TV news.
Unclench. The world won't stop spinning while you're gone.
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