Thursday, August 26, 2010

This old bagel of yours could be on fire and I couldn't even turn on the kitchen tap without filling out a 27b/6.

Today's comedy comes to us from the New York State Department of Taxation and Finance, who are going after people trying to evade the sliced-bagel tax.
Whole bagels sold for takeout are not subject to sales tax, but "any handling or preparation at the shop turns it into a taxable event," says Brad Maione, a spokesperson for the DTF.

Although Maione says the sales tax is not a new provision and that the stepped up enforcement is due to better technology, bagel-store owners say the tax was news to them.
Wait, what? "Better technology"? Better bagel slicer monitoring technology?

I'll be right back. I'm going down to Blockbuster and moving the DVD of Brazil from the comedy shelf to the documentary one.

27 comments:

Matt G said...

Meanwhile, I'll be taking HVAC classes on the sly, while gathering more static line and some nifty goggles.

theirritablearchitect said...

"...without filling out a 27B/6"

I see you enjoy the same movies that I do. :)

theirritablearchitect said...

Oh, and I never thought of Brazil as a comedy so much as horror.

Lissa said...

I'm . . . speechless.

Seriously. It's so stupid I can't even find snark.

TotC said...

A hero will arise to fight this injustice... his name shall be John Lox and his weapon shall be cream cheese.

og said...

You know they have that online now, for your convenience.

http://www.suberic.net/~dmm/27B-6.pdf

Anonymous said...

Hasn't California had a snack tax for some time as well?

When famine hits the country the nobility always crush the serf.

Shootin' Buddy

ToddG said...

So buttering another's biscuits is, by law, a taxable act in NY? I hope someone is checking the former governor's checkbook...

Anonymous said...

"I came into this game for the action, the excitement. Go anywhere. Travel light. Get in. Get out, smear on some cream cheese. Where ever there's trouble, a bagel alone."

I can see where your bagel shop could be forced to start selling un-manipulated bagels with toasters at hand, and cream cheese on the side. Or provide a 27b/6 with the whole wheat, a 27b/7 with the pumpernickle.

Sevesteen said...

How do you classify grocery-store pre-sliced bagels? (for tax purposes, that is, not for edibility)

Rabbit said...

That's odd; I was minding my own business and the name Harry Tuttle popped into my little pumpkin head just the other evening.

I need to quit reading so many news reports from D.C., obviously.

Justthisguy said...

We're all in it together.

Brian J. said...

Some shops already have improved bagel slicer technology. It's the stick they jam into the slicer when the bagel gets stuck in the chute.

Older stores haven't upgraded, and the employees still reach in with their arms.

Maybe the tax is necessary for their disability.

Seriously, when I used to work downtown and hit one of those shops, I cringed and turned my head every time that thing cranked up with the sound of a dull table saw because I knew there was a 1d4 chance the employee would reach in there.

KA9VSZ said...

When I lived in CA many years ago, a cold sub sandwich at the local grab-n-go was cheaper than a warm one nuked by the clerk 'cuz the warm one had been "prepared". I seem to recall there were microwaves available for customer use also for heating cold food w/o the prep tax.

Anonymous said...

Trouble with prepared/unprepared and all other exemptions is that some pencil-neck gets to define and differentiate...no chance of absurdity (or corruption) there.

To the extent that taxes always have and always will continue, the answer is the same as it has been since Reagan...flat tax, no exemptions, no exceptions.

With nearly 40 years in retail, I hate being the indentured tax collector for the state. But the infrastructure is in place more or less nationwide, and point of sale collection is the surest method to ensure that all pay some so that some won't pay all.

Ten percent to the state and ten percent to the fed on every dollar spent, period, to replace any and all tax filings...Want to dodge tax? Live simply, save and invest. Want to live large? Great, be ready to pay large.

But Ronnie couldn't make it happen then, I don't see anyone or anything that could make it happen now, and I harbor no hope at all that it will happen ever.

AT

Anonymous said...

Also...

"I'm going down to Blockbuster..."

Better hurry. Red Box just put the final nail in the coffin of the outlet here, located on a WallyWorld outparcel no less. Many more to follow very soon.

Then it'll be Red Box turn. How'd ya like to invest your life savings in a high-tech delivery system with a shelf life measured in months? AT

Joseph said...

They're not after the bagels; they're after the cream cheese. Unauthorized cream-cheese sellers can be cited for lipidlegging.

Bubblehead Les. said...

Wonder how much tax money is being wasted to collect taxes? "Yes Governor, our Department Budget is $57,000,000 a year, but we've collected $3,142 on Sliced Bagel Revenue Taxes this year, but with the New $89,000,000 Technology Upgrade, we should be able to bring in all the rest of the missing revenue within 5 years". Too bad the total revenue it can collect would be about $78,000 a year.

B Smith said...

The EPA has informed my mother that she must install a whole new septic system, with an attached monitor that uses the phone line to alert the authoritah when it 'needs service'.
And I read over at Breda's that Cleveland is attaching monitoring chips to their recycle bins to catch those dastardly eco-criminals.
People, when they will sift through your trash and crawl into your sewage to gain revenue and/ or grab power, I submit that it just might be time to oil up the guns and check the ammunition stock.
Just sayin'.

Standard Mischief said...

80% pre-sliced bagels anybody? I don't think the tobacco ninjas require paperwork if they are only sliced most of the way through.

Tam said...

"80% pre-sliced bagels anybody?"

Ha! :D

Bram said...

"Idiocracy" should be there too.

Jake (formerly Riposte3) said...

Joseph, that story is frakking scary, once you realize that it was written in 1978 and we're actually seeing this happen today.

Interesting story site, too. I plan to check it out later.

montieth said...

So I'm guessing there's room for a Harry Tuttle, Bagle Slicing Engineer in New York?

Mantoinette said...

"Let them eat grocery store bagels."

markm said...

What's even scarier about the Lipidlegger story is not just that, if we'd had the politicians then that we've got now, butter and other animal fats would have been banned and replaced by polyunsaturated fats - but that they'd do that on shaky science. The only fake butter that's any good is transfats, and that's now known to be far worse than the real thing.

Anonymous said...

Not to be a wiseacre or anything like that, but more states than not have such laws on the books.

If you go to the local donut shop and get two donuts and a cup of coffee, and eat them at the counter, then to the law that's a meal, subject to sales tax, restaurant meal tax, etc. If you get two dozen donuts in a big box and take them home with you, you've just bought groceries, and in most states there's no sales tax on groceries.

A fine line, I suppose, and kind of a dumb thing for our elected public servants to be thinking about, what with there being a war on, in my opinion (but who asked me? I know, I know).