With the last buggy whip manufacturer having apparently gone under, the Indiana state legislature was forced to look elsewhere for maidens to save. Luckily they didn't have to look far:
Wait, what's that you say? "Cursive is essential for a child's development"?
By Jove, you're right! The stunted dwarfs that inhabited this fair land before the birth of the great Austin Palmer grubbed in the earth like worms. They traveled by horse and buggy and scarce had seen a steam locomotive, yet by the time of Palmer's last orbit 'round the sun, we were transmitting moving pictures through the æther and bestriding the oceans in single hops. It should be perfectly obvious that his Method is the key to our modern technological civilization!
Look, without getting into my usual rants about public education (in which I point out that the adjective "public" modifies the noun "school" the same way it does "transportation" or "restroom": serving as a warning that it is filthy and full of junkies and criminals,) can we agree that the school board has larger fish to fry than this minnow? After all, what good does it do to be able to laboriously copy out "See Spot run" in the most elegant of scripts if you haven't successfully been taught to read it in the first place?