Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Overheard in the Kitchen...

Me: "So I told him 'Every American should own an M1 Garand because M1 Garand. Not owning one should cause you to get a corner clipped off your 'Murrican card...'"

RX: "I guess I get a corner clipped off my card."

Me: "I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Then I said 'That being said, I can think of a half-dozen better choices for a combined hunting/zombocalypse rifle.'"

RX: "How does a zombocalypse differ from a zoombocalypse?"

Me: "One has shamblers, the other has fast zombies. And we can tape the corner back on your 'Murrican card because there's a Garand in the house, so you sort of have one by proxy."

63 comments:

Anonymous said...

As someone who hunts in the mountains, I can't think of a worse rifle than a Garand. They're too dang heavy. Great firepower though...

As for Zombies, I'd rather have something lighter and with more capacity. I'm not a fan, but an AR would be a better fit there.

The Garand, IMO, is only well suited to collectors and match shooting.

Chris

Blackwing1 said...

Given that zombies are kinda-sorta squishy, isn't .30-06 a bit much? I mean, if what you gotta do is head-shots, won't 5.56mm do? I'd rather have an AK in 7.62x39 for zombies; I've got plenty of 20-round mags for that.

I'm thinking the Garand is more for the time-travel set, going back to hunt the dino's. 8 rounds of thirty-caliber goodness, and quick re-loads if necessary. Of course, the camp would have to have one of Browning's M1919's at the high point.

Or am I just channeling my inner David Drake?

og said...

The m1 carbine is also very Murrican, very light and small, and with hollowpoints can be moderately effective. Plus, Carbine Williams!

Angus McThag said...

Anon,

Is not hunting rifle. Is war rifle.

Criteria not same.

staghounds said...

I'm hopeful for the zombocalypso, because-

dead Harry Belafonte!

Stuart the Viking said...

Dangit... My 'Murrican card is in shambles with all the "Every American should..." that goes on. Or it would be if I didn't have the ability to think for myself.

That said, I have always wanted a Garand of some sort, but just haven't gotten off of my lazy (brain's) ass to figure out if I want a standard, clip fed .30-06, or if I want to spit in the general direction of tradition and go with one of the magazine fed .308s. Then, of course, I would have to figure out how to afford one (which gives a point to the tradition side of the argument), and also would have to figure out when/where to shoot one. I have my kids (5 and 8, both girls) all weekend every weekend, so a trip to the range is out*.

s

*for those of you who will say "Great! Just take them with!", I wish it were that easy. I spend time with my kids and KNOW them well enough to know that they aren't ready for the range trip yet.

Mulliga said...

There are worse ways to spend 700 bucks (including leaving it in a bank account while our money is inflated to low Earth orbit). Think of it as an investment you can shoot.

Tam said...

Stuart,

It was a joke. I don't really think you're less of an American just because you're some godless bolshevik non-Garand-owner.

Anonymous said...

Angus, I was specifically responding to this:
Me: "I'm sorry, that's just the way it is. Then I said 'That being said, I can think of a half-dozen better choices for a combined hunting/zombocalypse rifle.'"

By the way, would you use a zombocalypse rifle against www.zombo.com?

Chris

Anonymous said...

"*for those of you who will say "Great! Just take them with!", I wish it were that easy. I spend time with my kids and KNOW them well enough to know that they aren't ready for the range trip yet."

My 9yo is only now getting to where I trust her at the range. no way in heck would I take her AND her little sister (4yo).

Chris

og said...

Personally i fear the zumbadanceapocalyose more

Al T. said...

Checking my 'Murican card's corners, I think one corner is the Garand and one is the 1911. Not too sure about the others, perhaps '03 Springfield, Winchester M12 or 94, S&W Model 10 (bonus points for 3 inch, RB), Remington 870...

Jennifer said...

Get away from me with those scissors! Didn't your mother teach you not to run with those? I just don't have one YET. I will. I swear.
Meanwhile I'll just collate data on the zombie kills and canned goods. Mad spreadsheet skills have got to come in handy somewhere.

Roger said...

My 'Murrican' card has all 4 corners and medallion in the middle.
US & S 1911, '17 Eddystone Enfield, Inland M1 carbine, Springfield Garand and a home-built AR.

Tam said...

Roger,

"My 'Murrican' card has all 4 corners and medallion in the middle."

Heh.

I was guessing in a conversation with Roomie that if there really were four corners, they'd be a 1911 in .45, an '03 Springfield, a Garand, and an AR.

Boat Guy said...

I'm with Angus; "is war rifle. Criteria not same". I'd be only too happy to be toting a Garand if I were in Afghanistan, long's the Loggies could keep me in clipped ammo.
My idea of the best "hunting/combat rifle" would be the A3 Springfield. Not as fast a war rifle compared to self-loaders perhaps but good enough and a mighty fine hunter.
Guess my 'Murrican Card" should be 3D if multiple examples of everything 'cept the .30 M1 PoodleShooterCarbine count...

Anonymous said...

Lets see.... An alloy and plastic .22 that takes 8-10 rounds to stop a charging gerbil. OR an honest to god military rifle that will blow BIG holes in ...well damn near everything! AND do it at 600 yards. But please.y'all keep worshiping the great god AR. The all knowing, all seeing, all powerfull, be all and end all of man killin. The awsome black god-gun that never jams, kills 200 men every time the trigger is pulled, and makes you look so COOL. The perfect wepon that kills EVERYTHING at 3000 yards with the first shot. And you can get them to match you outfit, shoes and bag.--- Am I the only guy left on earth that thinks that putting a 20x 'scope on a nine inch AR pistol looks REALY stuuupid? Or that a 240lb range commando in a Ninja/Nazi uniform with a flack vest+plates, Two hand guns, a shotgun, two AR carbines and 200lb of mags/ammo and 14 deathhead sholder patches , IS WHY we scare hell out of the anti-gunners?

Tam said...

Anonymouse 9:20,

I guess that made sense in your head?

Tam said...

(Also, I'd at least consider switching to decaf...)

Angus McThag said...

Woot! Got all four corners!

Opinionated Grump (Rich in NC) said...

whoze in charge of the tape recorder in your humbe abode?
we keep overhearing things that are (Oh, I'm without a word here), Maybe just amazing. I do wait until I'm done eating breakfast before I read your posts, just to keep the cherios out of my nose.
Rich in NC

Scott J said...

I live about an hour from the CMP store.

I finally got my first Garand a couple years ago. Drove over and picked it out personally.

I want another but have too many other wants. This year it's something else in caliber .44 since my 44th birthday was this October.

Exurbankevin said...

Nope, no Garand for me. Left-handed shooter, and I can think of better ways to mangle my thumb.

I do have an M1903, so that sorta counts.

Butch_S. said...

No Garand here. Do have a M1911, a M1 Carbine, a M1A1 Thompson, and a M1919 Browning though.

The Raving Prophet said...

Heh... and I read this as I wait here at my home for the FedEx truck bringing my first M1 Garand from the CMP.

I must say, though, that 'Murican card ought to have a space for some kind of S&W K or N frame.

rickn8or said...

S&w M1917, Garand, M1 Carbine, 1917 Eddystone, M-1911 here. No AR's though. Mebbe next year.

RevolverRob said...

My American card is apparently an octagon.

I'm not concerned about it...No, honestly I'm not. I'm not searching CMMP for Garands as we speak...

-Rob

Anonymous said...

M1 Garand, check. 1911, check. My wife on the other hand; being only 4' 10" she swears by her M1 Carbine (her favorite gun of all time) and being from Mexico her 1911 is a .38 Super.

Corey

Tam said...

I'm curious: Will a Region 1 DVD of Band of Brothers even play if there's not a Garand within fifty feet of the player?

NAVIGATOR said...

DOES MY SPORTERIZED M-1917 COUNT ?
WOULD LIKE A MODIFIED SKS BULLPUP AND A TAVOR A DECENT SIDE BY SIDE 12 GAUGE
FOR MY MARITIME ACTIVITIES A BROWNING M2
50/ 81MM OVER UNDER AND A BLOOPER TO WARD OFF ANY PIRATES WE MAY ENCOUNTER M-1911 S FOR ALL COL JEFF WOULD HAVE APPROVED

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

I know the Garand was handy when I watched Band Of Brothers. Mainly because I went to blockbuster the day after I left the gun store with it.

Joel said...

I can't believe it. Nobody from the First Church of the Immaculate M1A has shown up to set you benighted yokels right?

M1A!

I feel better now.

Al T. said...

"and an AR." Rats. 35 years of my life shooting the durn things and I forgot.

Anony at 0920, re-read Blackhawk Down and see what the Rangers thought of their 7.62x51 effects. Hint - FMJ sucks at stopping folks, regardless of caliber.

On the other hand, a 150 grain Ballistic Tip or V-Max is about as good as it gets for social rehabilitation.

TheSev said...

Ok Joel, here it is.

1911, M1 Carbine, M1 Garand, M1A.

I consider the Garand and M1A to be the same corner.

I've saving the 4th corner for something Class III. I'd have one by now except for the existance of the Class III.

DonM said...

Moisin Nagants were, of course, issued to some American soldiers in WWI. Made by Remington, they were shipped off to Murmansk and the soldiers there were equipped with them as they secured war materiel from the German backed Bolshies.

M-1 Carbine in the house also gets your corner taped back on the 'Murrican card. A household with one M-1 Garand and one M-1 Carbine gets full marks. Extra points for Sgt Saunders (Vic Morrow) and his M-1 Thompson.

And the best weapon for time travelers hunting dinos is a Browning M-2 Heavy Barrel Machinegun. You can't outrun the dinos any more than you can outrun birds, so stay put, and keep shooting.

Anonymous said...

And if you talk a funny Norweigian accent, you can get points for a Krag Jorgensen or two.

There ain't nothing wrong with the .30 Government round except the government.

Andy said...

My Garand is rebarrelled in .308. Does that just mean a dog-eared corner?

Woodman said...

DonM, ok, so having a 1938 Mosin means I'm not a communist? Good.

I am surprised at the classes of firearm here though. Really, looking back at the last 100 years what guns are the real American guns in households?

A Marlin .22, and a Remington Shotgun 12 or 20 gauge. A 1911 or 38 spc, and then your last corner is the esoteric WWI or WWII choice.

Or, Papaw's shotgun, Dad's squirrel gun, and Mamaws pistol being the three legs of the tripod.

Matt G said...

But the Garand is completely out for the Zumbopocolypse, in which case every good 'Merican should put the critters down with an AR.

Kristophr said...

.308, dammit. God's cartridge, New Testament style.

I shoot a FAL. Not an antique with an embloc clip.

( although I might upgrade to an AR-10 clone. Stoner based rifles are damned easy to seriously accurize )

Scott J said...

Prophet, my collection boasts 3 K's, 2 N's and an I that I need to fix the timing on so I can shoot it.

I'm with you about their place on the 'Merican card.

Matt G said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matt G said...

Kristophr said:
"I shoot a FAL. Not an antique with an embloc [sic] clip."

Yeah, because a 58 year old design is WAY more cutting edge than a 76 year old design, which was still in service for 3 years after the Belgians fielded the FAL.

Ed Foster said...

Garand,30-06. 1917 Enfields (2),30-06. 1903 Springfield,30-06. 03-A33,30-06.
K-31,7.5mm Swiss. 1911 Schmidt-Rubins (3) 7.5mm Swiss. 15 or so Mausers in 6.5mm Swedish, 7mm Mauser, 8mm Mauser, .308 Win., .243Win.

91/30 Moisins (2) in 7.62R., minute of angle (really) SKS, 7.62x39. AK, never, unless the choice is a spear or rock. 1871 U.S. Springfield manufactured 50-70 Remington rolling block. 10.4mm Swiss Vetterli (still unfired), 1886 45-70 trapdoor, .303 Savage model 99.

6 or 7 shotguns, about the same for .22rf rifles, 9 handguns, and three AR's.

What gets shot on a regular basis?

The 20 inch HBAR with iron sights and 77 grain match bullets, the .45cal. 1911, the single action .45 LC, the Shultz and Larson .22 target rifle, the 20 inch 6.8mmSPC scoped AR, and the Bernadelli 20 gauge double.

The .303 Savage gets shot twice a year to verify zero for hunting season and provide brass for fresh hunting loads. The 30-06's get drug out for a match or two each year. The 50-70 gets shot once a summer, with 55 grains of Ctg. Grade Pyrodex.

I get nostalgic for walnut under my cheekbone, but the 77's from the AR shoot as flat as NatMatch 30-06, and the rifle's accuracy and function are flawless.

Never too many guns, but some just fit a certain lifestyle and do the bulk of the shooting.

Joe in PNG said...

Let's see, a by God Colt AR, a Colt 1903, a Smith Lemon Squeezer, a Smith steel J frame, a Smith plastic blaster, a Smith N in .45acp, and an old WWII .22 Mossberg training rifle... not to mention Grandma's single barrel shotgun keep my murrican card pretty much intact.

But I still want a Garand...

Ed Foster said...

In re the above: Ever notice that after loading .223 Rem for a day, handling 30-06 ammo is like juggling howitzer shells? They just seem so damned big.

Ed Foster said...

Angus McT.

Deer = thinskinned, high strung animal mostly between 90 and 250 pounds.

Man = thinskinned, high strung animal mostly between 90 and 250 pounds.

Publicola said...

Miss Tam, I kinda felt all toasty inside when I read this post of yourn; it's like I wasn't egarandelizing for nuffin all those year... ;)

I'd disagree a bit on the corners though. Americans are individualistic, so a Garand in one corner (or an M1 Carbine at least), with the other 3 filled by a single action pistol of some sort, a shotgun & a .22 rifle respectively.

Garands would be better for zombies than an AR. Ever see an AR bayonet? Hell, half those things won't take 'em anyhow, & that M7? Might as well tape a butter knife to a whiffle bat (though the M9 & OKC-35 move in the right direction). Now a Garand bayonet - an M1 or an M1905 (we shan't speak of the M5 as that was obviously a product of communist infiltration into our War Department)- that'll take a zombie head clean off with a good swing.

Interesting question about whether Band of Brothers would play that far away from a Garand. I have no idea myself, but who on earth would ever wanna find out? ;)

Sigivald said...

Every American should own a trapdoor Springfield, obviously.

I am equally obviously a lousy American under that standard.

Brad K. said...

Tam,

"That being said, I can think of a half-dozen better choices for a combined hunting/zombocalypse rifle"

. . so, what are the half dozen other useful choices?

Since someone decided to walk through the house and take my bolt action .410 Mossberg, Remington .22, BB gun, etc., I am down to a Winchester 67A short barrel .22, missing the front sight, which doesn't matter that much on a smooth bore gun. sigh.

Thanks!

Ed said...

Clipping the corner of a card for an infraction is Boy Scout culture. Once a Boy Scout (or adult leader) is trained in the use of edged tools such as knives and axes, the Scoutmaster awards him a "Tote-N-Chip" card, which he must possess when possessing and using edged tools as an indicator of qualification. The training is conducted by the youth of a Troop, not the adult leaders. If a Scout (or adult leader) is observed in unsafe behavior with an edged tool, then a corner of the card is torn off as warning and record of the infraction. On the fourth occurrence the card is confiscated and he must retrain before possessing and using an edged tool again outside of a training. Rarely do you see a card with more than one corner clipped. A goal of a Boy Scout Troop is 100% possession of "Tote-N-Chip" cards along with a spotless safety record.

RobertM said...

I really need to get a Garand.

T.Stahl said...

Do I get a corner clipped off of my Kraut card because I don't own a K98 or because I don't own a G3?

Al T. said...

T. Stahl, hurry up and emigrate ala Marko and I'd be proud to hand you a K98. Please bring Pear Schnapps.

Vaarok said...

I hate Garands because of this.

FAL for fighting. I have M1s mostly because I got 'em cheap and they're better at holding value than cash. Great tradin' fodder.

Brigid said...

We have a Garand handy - for those "got off of my brain" moments

jed said...

Okay, I'll fess up, and verify that Band of Brothers will play even if there isn't a Garand within 50 feet. Maybe Garand Lust is sufficient? There's an AR, a 1911 (with Army Ordnance Marks), and a copy of Boston's Gun Bible nearby. And I think a lever action rifle should count for something -- if cowboy movies aren't Mur'can, then I don't know what is. So I'm going to claim a corner for my 336 in .35 Rem., which, BTW, would do nicely on zombies, at least until I had to reload.

Larry said...

My 'Murrican card, apparently, is a circle. I have none of the firearms listed, no not one.

I am, however, open to donations should someone take pity on me...

global village idiot said...

Andy, owning a Garand in .308 doesn't make you un-Murrican.

It makes you a squid.

Tam's seen my Garand. Half of it was her idea anyway.

Closest I get to a Model 10 is a Model 15-3. And am I the only one left who, whenever he hears or reads "Smith & Wesson M&P" does NOT picture an automatic?

Oh, and Browning Hi-Power. Because it was JMB's successful attempt to fix everything that was wrong with the 1911.

gvi

P.S. My air rifle gets more done at Chez GVI than any of my other shootin' irons. Like LTC Robert Neville (only white), I and my dog are valiantly and single-handedly fighting the Zombie Possum Apocalypse in My Fair City.

Oh, and my dog's named Sam too.

Anonymous said...

A pinoy 1911 and an AR ........ so I'm not too bad.

Then again, clipping a corner actually leaves you with two in its place, just not at right angles. I use that argument all the time with my Man Card, but for some reason it don't work so well.


IllTemperedCur

Kristophr said...

Matt G:

What I want is a man-portable energy weapon, but I suspect intense government regulation will keep that out of my reach.

And I was willing to entertain an upgrade to a Stoner system rifle ... which will get me into the 1960's, at least.


I think the problem is that no one has done anything really new recently. This makes me sad.

Scott J said...

GVI,

No. My very first gun that ran on gunpowder was a late 40's vintage M&P. Purchased some 20 years ago.

I traded it in about a year later toward a 686.

Of all the trades I've made over the years I regret that one the most. I should have kept it since it was my first.

Windy Wilson said...

And the Zumbocalypse?
Overage sporting mag writers shooting their mouths off about suitable guns for the Zombocalypse?