Bulletproof backpacks are already on the market with your child's safety and your peace of mind as the pitch. But since last week's school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, online body armor companies like BulletBlocker.com are seeing quadruple the number of sales of the protective backpacks.So Junior, sitting on the sofa eating pudding made of high-fructose corn syrup and crushed Cheetos, every muscle in his body flaccid save those required to grip the X-Box controller and twitch his eyeballs, is going to be packed off to school with a Level IA bookbag for his health. (Assuming his school doesn't require clear or mesh book bags, you know, to keep the guns out.)
Mom's finely-honed risk assessment skills explain why sales of both lottery tickets and diabetic test strips are up.
Good thing his mom doesn't realize that bag won't even slow down a 5.56 round, because I'm not sure that he could heft a SAPI plate, although it would probably do him some good to get the exercise. At least this way, when Junior snaps and goes on a homicidal rampage wrapped in bookbags, the responding officers' patrol carbines will have some effect.
I wonder how many of these people buying Kevlar® backpacks were gasping in horror whenever it was mentioned that "the killer appeared to be wearing body armor" and called for that stuff to be banned?
If someone was a real helicopter parent, you'd think they'd go down to William Golding Memorial Elementary and do a dust-off...