Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Bubble Wrap Generation.

One of the leading stories on the local news this morning?
Bulletproof backpacks are already on the market with your child's safety and your peace of mind as the pitch. But since last week's school massacre in Newtown, Connecticut, online body armor companies like BulletBlocker.com are seeing quadruple the number of sales of the protective backpacks.
So Junior, sitting on the sofa eating pudding made of high-fructose corn syrup and crushed Cheetos, every muscle in his body flaccid save those required to grip the X-Box controller and twitch his eyeballs, is going to be packed off to school with a Level IA bookbag for his health. (Assuming his school doesn't require clear or mesh book bags, you know, to keep the guns out.)

Mom's finely-honed risk assessment skills explain why sales of both lottery tickets and diabetic test strips are up.

Good thing his mom doesn't realize that bag won't even slow down a 5.56 round, because I'm not sure that he could heft a SAPI plate, although it would probably do him some good to get the exercise. At least this way, when Junior snaps and goes on a homicidal rampage wrapped in bookbags, the responding officers' patrol carbines will have some effect.

I wonder how many of these people buying Kevlar® backpacks were gasping in horror whenever it was mentioned that "the killer appeared to be wearing body armor" and called for that stuff to be banned?

If someone was a real helicopter parent, you'd think they'd go down to William Golding Memorial Elementary and do a dust-off...
.

26 comments:

staghounds said...

That would be William Golding MIDDLE School...

http://www.crcs.k12.ny.us/golding/index.htm

Tam said...

You have got to be shi...

Holy cow, you're not.

What's their football team called? The Piggies?

staghounds said...

It actually was elementary once, had a fellow groom who went there. We used to laugh at the name.

staghounds said...


Clearly trying to live the name down- Assistant Principal Jeff Klenk is the Dignity Act Coordinator for the whole school district!

http://www.crcs.k12.ny.us/district/dasa.html

SouthernProletariat said...

I actually placed an order for those shields the day after sandy hook...I had been looking at them for when my daughters went to middle school, and decided to go ahead. No, it won't stop a rifle round. BUT, in some cases, a handgun is used...and it will stop that (check the ballstic testing). I make my girls wear seatbelts, use sunscreen, take swimming lessons, eat healthy and exercise...why not add a layer of protection if I can? (And for the record, I have my CWP, and they know about our guns/gun safety.) If that is helicopter parenting, then ok, guilty as charged.

Woodman said...

So, my youngest's kindergarten class had a "bad guy"drill yesterday. Her classroom has a door from the hallway, an office/kitchen room, and a door outside.

Apparently just getting the hell out of the school is not what they are supposed to do, they turn the lights off and hide in the office, now, that does put them behind two pretty hefty metal doors, but I think the shoot the glass out and open the door trick would likely work there too.

On the plus side, the school is about two minutes drive from The Pendleton Home for Criminal Miscreants, so response times could be less than 5 minutes, and there is no namby pamby 911 call to be made, panic buttons at several desks, undisclosed to the GP.

My high school student was laughing about what they have to do and has said she'll just run like hell, since the instructions are to line up on the back wall of the rooms and try not to be seen.

Since it appears that we average a student a month getting suspended or expelled for a firearm in their car, I think the likelihood of return fire is stronger than in Anderson. And I'll back a 17 year old dear hunter with his shotgun against some emo kid with a rifle any day.

Hell, from appearances you could get your airsoft gun and stop one of these guys.

Tam said...

SouthernProletariat,

"...why not add a layer of protection if I can?"

I'm not objecting; it is, after all, a free country.

armedlaughing said...

Helicopter parenting beats 'let them play videah games all day' parenting, hands down.
No. Hands up!

gfa

Cormac said...

"Mom's finely-honed risk assessment skills explain why sales of both lottery tickets and diabetic test strips are up."

I can't tell you how much I needed this laugh.

Thank you for all that you do.

J.R.Shirley said...

My fiance's kid usually packs enough schoolbooks home for his pack to stop M2 ball, at least from a straight shot to the back.

TCinVA said...

Reason: So rare it might as well be a superpower.

Dave said...

Could always try duct tapeing SAPI plates to the kiddos' backs. I hear it's a popular method among Paul Blart types worried about taking multiple .308 hits to the back...

wizardpc said...

I wonder if those parents realize that the kids probably wouldn't be anywhere near their backpacks if they were needed.

For "safety and security" the schools 'round here require that the backpacks stay in lockers or cubby holes or whatever from the time the kid gets to school til the time they get to pack up to get on the bus.

As an aside, I got, er, investigated when my high school administration discovered my backpack had kevlar in it.

Fifteen years later people still think taking measures to protect yourself from madmen makes you a madman.

Yossi said...

Why have clear book bags if you can just ban them? http://miami.cbslocal.com/2012/12/20/book-bags-banned-at-some-local-schools/

Yrro said...

Given the testing at the Box o Truth, and the number of books I carried around with me in middle school - I'm pretty sure my backpack would have stopped a .223 *without* the armored plating.

Sigivald said...

Quintuple "almost zero" is still "almost zero".

GunDiva said...

I got nothing. Just giggling.

My kids' instructions while they were in school were vastly different from the school's instructions. I told them to get out and run like hell, not allow themselve to be locked in a classroom where they could be shot like fish in a barrel.

Besides, in five years, we'll have all sorts of medical research out there decrying the "bullet proof" backpacks, saying that they're a leading cause of back pain and injury in children due to their weight.

Brandon said...

when Junior snaps and goes on a homicidal rampage wrapped in bookbags

Now that's funny.

Anonymous said...

I had to look up helicopter parent.
Sounds like they would buy the designer RAV vest with ASAPI plates.

Man on Fire II: William Golding MIDDLE School Years

Gerry

BobF said...

I'm just sitting here remembering when I was in elementary school ("Middle" didn't exist) we were diving under our student deskchairs as we would do in the event of a nuclear attack.

Now, that was another nut case making the threat and he was thousands of miles and an ocean away from the school. So, do we now move to the threat sitting off campus behind a tree in the morning, at recess or lunch, or at closing, and..., pretty much negating a lot of the inside responses?

We're nowhere near root cause yet, and it isn't the weapon or the proximity. It's dealing with the mentality, or if you prefer, mental health, including parents' failure to recognize and act on issues. At least that's my view.

Anonymous said...

Kids getting shot and people are worried about protecting the stuff in their backpacks? I must have missed something... -- Lyle

staghounds said...

The book bag is a step, at least it suggests an actual strategy other than "Hope he shoots you last".

Teach your children, when you can, run.

If you're trapped in the room with him, United 93 the malefactor.

Ed said...

When I was in the fourth grade, I was hit by a car while crossing the street to the bus stop. The metal lunchbox in my briefcase acted like the crumple zone in the front end of a Mercedes. All I had for damage was a sprained wrist from holding the briefcase handle while I was spun at high speed from the impact. My brief flight had a good landing.

Geodkyt said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Geodkyt said...

Tam said...
You have got to be shi...

Holy cow, you're not.

What's their football team called? The Piggies?


The Conches. They dominate the local league -- however holds (off) the Conch rules the rest.

J.R.Shirley said...

Lyle, yes, you missed something. The backpacks are to protect the kids, not what's in the packs.