Thursday, April 17, 2014

Irony is dead.

While I'd seen a bunch of the chatter about it on the 'net, I hadn't read Bloomie's self-aggrandizing wankery about how he was going to buy his way into Heaven by taking my guns because he assumes JHVH is as down on the Second Amendment as he is. I didn't feel like paying any attention to the "Look At Me!" bellows of the dinosaur as it stares at the inevitability of its own extinction.

However the quote over at New Jovian Thunderbolt's place nearly made me put the claimed water- and/or coffee-proof qualities of my keyboard to the test:
“This is not a battle of dollars, this is a battle for the hearts and minds of America so that we can protect our children, protect innocent people,” former-mayor Michael Bloomberg said.
It takes a pretty exotic combination of chutzpah and tone-deafness to announce the spending of fifty million greenbacks with "This is not a battle of dollars."

I went on and found out that he thinks he's going to build a grassroots organization with top-down money, proving that it's hard to understand what exactly "grassroots" are when you're fifty floors up in Manhattan and there's not a blade of grass in sight.

Bloomie is obviously yet another person with a bad case of Elvis Syndrome and in dire need of a Smithers.


"Smithers, go buy me a swelling in the hearts and minds of the little people."


"Uh, sir, I don't think it works that way."


He said he only wants to stop criminals and the mentally ill from buying guns but you know that, to Mike at least, the very desire to purchase a firearm marks one as one or the other of those two categories. Sometimes I have to resort to boxing my own ears to make the steady drone of bull$#!+ stop.
.

31 comments:

Chad said...

Hey, let him stimulate the economy. His 50 million goes to companies involved in advertising, and the reaction will mean more record #s for gun companies.

Rabbit said...

"Smithers, this monkey is going to need most of your skin."

JPD said...

Now if Bloomberg was serious, he could solve the gun violence in this country. Use his money to provide 24/7 trained, armed bodyguards for every American citizen.

Just like he has. Of course, last I heard his security detail is still provided by the NYPD, free of charge (to him).

Wyfaggro said...

I think "exotic combination of chutzpah and tone-deafness," has been his entire political career.

Mark Philip Alger said...

Thanks.

I've been wanting to write the definitive and dispositive rant against this execrable initiative of Bloomberg's. (Heh: "Dandified petty tyranny." -- John Wright). You've saved me the trouble. Appreciated.

M

tailwind said...

He keeps using that word, "Heaven."

I don't think it means what he thinks it means.

Matt G said...

Hold up; that's not his own money?
I had seen the articles that "Bloomberg Plans To Spend $50M To Stop Gun Violence," and thought, "well, if it's money, he can burn it however he deems fit." But that's NOT his money. Top down? How about ripped from the bottom, sprinkled from the top? Something akin to attempting to seed your lawn by throwing grass clippings into a wood chipper. It burns a lot of gas, and doesn't do the lawn any good.

JohninMd.(HELP?!??) said...

Bloomberg should make arraignments to be buried in an asbestos suit, cuz if he thinks his money gives him a straight shot to Paradise, I think he's gonna discover all 50 mil is gonna buy is a quick ride to Central Heating, shovelling his soul into the furnaces.......

John A said...

"He said he only wants to stop criminals and the mentally ill from buying guns" and selling of illegal guns.

Not stated is that he thinks all non-government-owned guns should be illegal, and anyone who wants a gun is mentally ill and/or insane.

As best I remember, the first time I really took note of HIS insanity was way back when he wanted to ban all toy guns because they looked too much like real firearms and could cause cops to shoot kids: the accompanying photo showed him holding aloft a translucent-green Buck-Rogers-Space-Ray type water pistol.

Nor is he better on health. He pushed for a program to match prescriptions written to those filled at pharmacies. And penalize the doctors whose patients did not fill the prescriptions. Not for stuff like Vicodin, mind, but for diabetics! And his war against salt, from a man known to sprinkle salt on his pepperoni pizza!

og said...

I have it on good authority that when I arrive in hell, as I surely deserve, I will be put in charge of "Slapping Bloomie in the smirk" lessons, except on Wednesday when I will be teaching newbies how to kick Hillary in the groin.

Anonymous said...

Just to warn y'all: he's already starting to infest Youtube with an ad. You can skip it after 30 seconds or so, but that's 30 seconds wasted, never to be retrieved...
Pretty slick ad, too, for a "grassroots" organization.

Kishnevi

Matt said...

70 years ago, Bloomberg would of been begging the U.S. to send guns if he was in Europe and actually lived until 1944.

Bloomie doesn't like guns in the hands of the proletariat because it makes us harder to enslave. Peasants with arms has always made oligarchs nervous.

newrebeluniv said...

Not stated is that he thinks all non-government-owned guns should be illegal, and anyone who wants a gun is mentally ill and/or insane.

Except his guards. They NEED guns because guarding rich people from being approached by the unwashed masses is important hazardous work.

Joel said...

Somebody already beat me to it, but when did that ever stop me?

It takes a pretty exotic combination of chutzpah and tone-deafness to ...

To be Bloomie? Hey, but he does it well.

Scout26 said...

I'm tempted to offer to hold a "Gun Buy-back", if he'll spot me say $50,000 to hold it.


(Mine is an evil laugh.)

tweell said...

Proclaiming that your 'good works' have earned you a place in Heaven is... an incredible amount of hubris, IMO. I'm not who decides that sort of thing, but will note that no saint has ever claimed sainthood in life. It's more the opposite for them; they write that they are wretched sinners.
Mr. Bloomberg, you may want to open that Bible and read the parable of the Pharisee and the publican.

Goober said...

Bloomberg is totally that guy CS Lewis was talking about when he wrote about tyrannies sincerely exercised for the good of their victims.

Lewis was absolutely prophetic on all accounts, and it is because of Bloomberg.

Also, imagine the cockiness and ego of a man that is so certain that his good works will earn him a reward, that he'll brag about how he's absolutely certain that God will agree with his politics and that the things that he did are "good." That, alone, would be a pretty solid display of at least one of the sins specifically listed as a dis-qualifier to entering heaven.

It reminds me of those charity workers who would never work charity if it weren't for the fact that they got to brag about how charitable they are.

People like that are worse than folks who don't do charity at all.

azmountaintroll said...

Predestination? IIRC, certainty that you're one of the Elect is considered positive proof that your not.

rickn8or said...

Pretty presumptious, I think.

I mean, how does Micromanagin' Mikey know JHVH is pro-gun control? Luke 22:36 would indicate otherwise.

(Unless of course, Mikey told JHVH that He was wrong.)

TS said...

"I will crush the NRA like this paper cup [groans]. Smithers, crush this paper cup for me!"

Anonymous said...

Bloomberg is a Reform Jew, to the extent he is anything at all. So he was raised to believe good works get you into Heaven and the guy from Galilee does not show up in Tanakh. The arrogance comes from thinking his works qualify as "good".

Kishnevi

Matthew said...

If he really wanted to promote gun *safety* that 50M would pay for Eddie Eagle to be taught in every K-12 classroom in America and a fully staffed NRA Home Firearm Safety course in every community college.

Ken said...

To borrow from Bill James, I'm not sure whether that constitutes chutzpah, or chutzpidity.

But by all means, Prince Pompadoodle, have at it. Why stop at $50 million? Add a zero or two. Show us how your checkbook goes to 11.

Jeff F. said...

Don't box your own ears, Tam. Boxing your own ears leads to tinnitus. Trust me on this; I know...of course, you have to do it repeatedly...

Jeff

RabidAlien said...

You know, when he passes, I will in all honesty and sincerity observe a moment of silence. I will request those around me observe this same moment. Because its not every day that you can be quiet and literally hear Heaven laughing.

Brad K. said...

rickn8or, an interesting quote. Reading through Luke 22, it appears JHVH warned the disciples to arm themselves, and that two swords among them was "enough". Then, in the Garden, when JHVH was taken, the swords kept the disciples from being taken.

Interesting -- arming the *victims*, in the Bible, was advocated, and shown to be prudent and useful.

Anonymous said...

Even as an atheist/agnostic I find his comments on his entry to heaven extraordarily offensive and the mark of someone who has no capacity for introspection.

My daily, agnostic prayer is "Lord, save me from true believers".

Mike in Oz

mikee said...

$50,000,000 being distributed by a person whose control predilections lean toward the tyrannical?

How do I get me some of that?

I can rant like a VPC or Brady, illogically spewing FEEEEEEEELINGS and dancing in the blood of children, achieving nothing of any use, if the price is right.

And if he pays ME to do it instead of some intern at the NYT, the money will go to purchasing interesting firearms, and keeping those firearms off the streets of our inner cities. I promise!

How about just 1% of the total for a 1 year effort by me, commenting on gun blogs everywhere that gun rights supporters are big meanies who use facts and logical arguments to support their proposition that self defense is an inherent individual right, instead of just doing what Bloomie wants?

Goober said...

Og;

That sounds more like heaven to me....

:)

rickn8or said...

mikee, good plan but there's still that ol' looking-at-yourself-in-the-mirror thing.

And what if you do the pro-gun control thing too well?

rickn8or said...

mikee, good plan but there's still that ol' looking-at-yourself-in-the-mirror thing.

And what if you do the pro-gun control thing too well?