Dear Smith & Wesson,

You know I love you, right? I go to sleep cuddling my plush stuffed Horace Smith doll. The backs of all my notebooks are covered in loopy cursive reading "Mrs. Tamara Wesson". We're still going out.

But there's something I need to talk to you about.

It's about your new plastic "Bodyguard .38" revolver. I don't mind the plastic. Whatever. It's not like the black anodized aluminum Airweight in my coat pocket is oozing 19th Century tradition, either. And the idea of a built-in laser on a pocket revolver from the factory is kinda cool, especially since I had to go aftermarket and add a Crimson Trace unit to the one I'm carrying.

Here are my beefs:

1. The "ambidextrous cylinder release", which is "ambidextrous" only in the sense that it's just as awkward and fumble-prone with either hand. Plus, the amount of wiggle and play in it just doesn't fill me with confidence. The latch may not actually be flimsy or fragile, but it sure feels that way.


2. The only way you could have put that laser activation button in a less-accessible place is if you'd put it in a locked box two rooms away from the gun. The switch needs to be activated by gripping the firearm, so as to avoid the whole "Hang on, Mr. Bad Guy! Time out to turn on my laser!" thing. I haven't seen such a poorly-thought-out control placement since Insight came out with that positively moronic laser that fit in the rear sight notch of a Glock; the "On" button might as well have been in Albania for all you could access it in a hurry on the draw.
   

"Ambidextrous" and "laser" should be more than just advertising buzzwords. They should be useful and helpful and not just going through the motions to check boxes off on a brochure.

If you want me to consider purchasing your new product, you're going to need to click on this link and copy what you see on the blackboard five hundred times.

XXXOOO,
-T.