The latest is especially hilarious, though. Don't take my word for it; listen to the Big Idea for this week's gala from Maximum School Leader Arne Duncan. Here are the words straight from horse's a... er, mouth:
The goal of the summit is to engage governmental and nongovernmental partners in crafting a national strategy to reduce and end bullying.Wow. The Federal government is going to end bullying in schools.
Look, school bullying has been going on since Sargon wouldn't stop poking Lugal in the ribs with his reed stylus during third period math, and the only reason it wasn't going on earlier than that is there weren't any schools, so it was just plain bullying. If you backtrack those footprints at Laetoli, you'll see where one of the australopithecines was giving the other a noogie. This isn't some fancy new American invention, and you're as likely to stop it as you are to stop sex, war, or eating.
Further, where in the sweet name of Shiva do you get off thinking the federal government has any business at all even worrying about this, huh? I know you work for the Department of Education, but did you cut class a lot in Civics or AmGov or whatever they called it in your school? Don't you think that, had they wanted to, Washington or Hamilton would have leaned over and said "Hey, James, prithee put somethinge in there to keep little boys from dippinge little girls' pigtails in the inkwells..."?
Wait, wait, I know how this happened... The dorks running the Department of Education got wedgies a lot, and when they started crying and ran to the teacher, the class bully said "Hey, you don't have to make a federal case out of it!"
And now they can.