Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Ah, my fair village...

Apparently, the punter for our city's football squadron was found taking the waters in scenic Broad Ripple at 0mygawd30 this morning:
Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee has been arrested by the Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department.

Police were called the Water Company Canal at Broad Ripple and College a little before 5:00am Wednesday on the report of a man swimming in the canal.
The guy on the TeeWee solemnly intoned that "alcohol may have been involved." Ya think? You'd have to be near three sheets to the wind to try and backstroke through all that algae and duck crap. Especially shirtless at 0500 on a 40°F Wednesday morning.

Based on his actions, I'd say he was probably as drunk as two IMPD officers, two-and-a-half Marion County Deputy Prosecutors, or three regular people. (The difference between a Colts punter and a local cop or prosecutor? The football player is smart enough not to try and drive.)


UPDATE:
The news is now reporting that his initial breathalyzer result was a .15. Or, as we say around here, exactly one DePrez, which is .04 shy of a full Bisard.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I hope his attorney attaches a photo of David Bisard to his appearance.

Shootin' Buddy

rickn8or said...

"You'd have to be near three sheets to the wind to try and backstroke through all that algae and duck crap. Especially shirtless at 0500 on a 40°F Wednesday morning."

I'm sure Mr. McAfee thought it was a good idea at the time.

And if you're gonna break training, BREAK TRAINING.

West, By God said...

As a West Virginia University alum who has followed McAfee's career, I can say with all honesty that I'm proud of Pat for not being anywhere near as retarded as most of the other NFL-employed players from our great state.

mikee said...

Just so I am clear on this - it is apparently illegal to swim in the canal? I spent years of my youth on a swim team, getting up before dawn to swim. Admittedly, we used the indoor pool in the fall, but what is the problem with somebody taking a dip in the local waters?

Tam said...

I think the charge is Public Intox, not taking a dip in the canal. Although that might be illegal, too; I haven't checked.

Weer'd Beard said...

You simply need to mix some anti-freeze into the fluid reservoirs to keep the works running in cold water.

Nathan said...

Swimming in the canal probably constitutes trespassing on the water company's property...

Laughingdog said...

Public intoxication is another one of those laws I wish would just go away. Drunk and disorderly at least makes a little sense, though the disorderly is already covered by disturbing the peace.

Tam said...

I think he managed to nail the "disorderly" part when he mistook the woman's car for a taxi and tried to climb in. ;)

But, yeah, if someone just wants to sit there quietly drunk in public, I've got no problem with it. (...and probably the law wouldn't either, I guess.)

Anonymous said...

"Drunk and disorderly at least makes a little sense, though the disorderly is already covered by disturbing the peace"

Indiana has no such statute as "disturbing the peace".

IN has Public Intoxication and another statute, Disorderly Conduct. There are many roads to Disorderly Conduct, but Public Intox simply requires intoxication and public place or place of public resort.

Shootin' Buddy