Sunday, February 13, 2011

The purpose of the orange tomcat is to occupy space.

King: "Catan, what is best in life?"

Catan the Barbarian: "To sprawl full length in the doorway. To stare insolently at the ankles of those forced to step over me. To hear their lamentations as they trip and fall. That is best."

19 comments:

McVee said...

Hey Pinkie! Your purpose in life is to serve Me!
Now where's my tuna?
:)

Netpackrat said...

"To hear the screams of the human as I dig my claws into his chest and launch." The formerly feral cat that my brother adopted is staying with us, and because she is normally very sweet and cuddly, I forgot how dangerous she is when startled. I got reminded yesterday.

Joshkie said...

Ah, he is still young. So, he will learn it is best to sprawl at the top of stairs if avalible.

:-)
Josh

bluesun said...

My dog must be one of his camp followers, the one he sends out to do the late night killings. He waits on the stairs and then chews on your socks as you come down, which is probably against OSHA regulations, let's just say...

farmist said...

He is yet young. He will (as my grey tabby and prior dogs did) learn to stand up just as you attempt to step over him.

John said...

I am CAT, Royalty of Egypt and Master of the Dancing Electrons in which my servants dwell. You humans are slow to learn, but you will be trained.

WBFF088 said...

Dogs Have MASTERS, Cats Have STAFF.

rickn8or said...

Egyptians once worshiped cats as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Hmmmm. Could Catan possibly be employed as a draft stopper at the bottom of a closed door??

Jim said...

Also, to occasionally deliver superficial flesh wounds that bleed and sting a lot more than they should.

Jim

Midwest Chick said...

To jump onto the counter and drink the bacon grease. To hear the lamentations as they have to clean the litter box a day later. That is best.

--Bob

Rabbit said...

I have a Siberian husky that does that moreso than any of the cats. Everybody's tripped over the dog at least once, resulting in one torn rotator cuff and a crunchy kneecap. The cats know to get out of the way.

Kristopher said...

And to prevent the evil that are metronomes.

Anonymous said...

Orang Kitteh like to no ware humans ar. Purpus of doorway sprawl is
1) so kitteh can sees 2 ruums at same time, an
2) make human STOP an skritch mi bak.

Kitteh

Ed Foster said...

I didn't know Cuchullain had a cat.

John said...

Ed,

Our cats were pre-Chessie.

Irish's Cuchullian and his mate, the Macha, are not small-fur tolerant, tho quite willing to quietly observe outside-the-fence sun-preening felines in the hopes of an absent-minded property line violation.

'Cullen is thirteen yrs old, and during last evening's walk along the Maumee, quietly disappeared over the riverbank. When I peered down the ice-clad eight foot embankment, he was at the bottom on river-ice, head-shaking a suddenly-dead-floppy medium sized raccoon. No noise. Lots of practice on making woodchucks into meatbags.

However, if Cuchullain did have a cat, then you could then defacto pretty much declare the park wildlife free.

Justthisguy said...

Mah kitteh ain't like that; he's actually rather shy and diffident and always asks permission to get up on a chair, say, by blinking at me and pawing me slightly. He only sleeps with me or sits on my lap when he's feeling ill, otherwise he'd rather take the chair next to me, thankyouverrimuch. He seems to have a lot of Maine Coone in him and is kinda autistic, even for a cat. He never says meow, though I think I thought I heard him trying to say "kittycat." I think he thinks that is my name, as that is the most common noise I make at him.

WV: sched: What comes just before Yule.

jimbob86 said...

A Tomcat? He is young, yet, then: When he gets older (unless you fix him), "What is best in life" will be to indelibly mark your home as his property with a smell so noxious that you will be inclined to let him keep it. Or "let him have it" ..... or get him fixed. One of the three, your choice.

Justthisguy said...

I remember the best time I ever had with my kitteh. I believe it was possibly in the late nineties when the AF launched an unmentionable payload into a polar orbit from the Cape. It was a beautifully clear, cool, night, so I poised the ladder and climbed up on the roof to watch. I had my binoculars, and kitteh had his eyeballs (he had followed me up the ladder)

We watched the solid boosters of the shuttle burn spectacularly and fall away, and then watched the pinpoints of the SSMEs all the way to Brennschluss. I looked over at the kitteh from time to time and I swear he was watching, too.

Michael said...

The fiance's pet rabbit takes a more active role. Running in circles around your feet when you try to walk is his favorite game.