Saturday, September 24, 2011

Czar Vladimir.

In an address to his party's congress (and by 'his party' I mean 'his party' in the same way I'd mean 'his car' or 'his socks',) Vladimir Putin has announced that he will stand for election as president next year.
[O]bservers say Mr Putin's return to the Kremlin is now all but guaranteed.
During the speech, he complemented the kneecaps of the Russian voter, and said that it would be a real shame if anything bad were to... happen to them.

I guess he's just tired of having to keep his hand up Medvedev's butt. That, and not even Charlie McCarthy could sing the national anthem while Edgar Bergen drank a glass of water for three frickin' years; this has been one of the most impressive feats of marathon ventriloquism I've ever seen.

18 comments:

og said...

Well, Pelosi and Jugears had a pretty good run.

Robert said...

He just wants a freer hand in taking advantage of the utter incompetence of President sh*twiskers and his solar rangers.

"No better enemy, no worse friend."

Anonymous said...

Imagine what Mr. Putin could accomplish if he weren't saddled with the failed state of Russia as his only resource. A man like that in China or the US would have an imperial reign going in about 3 weeks, tops, and his descendents would still be running it centuries later.

Garrett Lee said...

Anonymous,

Do not make such assumptions about his descendants - they may turn out to be completely worthless. Often happens with the children of "great" leaders, actually.

Anonymous said...

Interestingly, 'Vladimir' means 'conquest of the world.'

Apparently he is one of the folks named Vladimir who takes that more or less literally.

Alath
Carmel IN

Bubblehead Les. said...

Well, all those Tin Horn Dictators around the globe don't have to worry about any UN Security Counsel Vote to remove them from Power happening in the future, now do they? But I do wonder what Khaddaffy Duck did to P.O. Tzar Putin? Probably was going to under cut the price of Caspian Crude. So like any good Mafia Boss, Putin sends out his LT.'s ("You want to Freeze this Winter, Sarkozy?") to "take care of this punk who's Muscling into my Business."

Kristopher said...

I'll give him credit for following constitutional forms to the letter.

He didn't pull an FDR and make himself President for Life.

GuardDuck said...

Does that make him Vlad the impaler II?

DirtCrashr said...

How soon will Tomas Friedman be moving over to assist and advise him in his new imperial palace?

theirritablearchitect said...

and by 'his party' I mean 'his party' in the same way I'd mean 'his car' or 'his socks'..."

More like, his underwear.

Nathan said...

Although, to be fair, this was predicted before Medveded ever became President...

Ed Foster said...

The only thing keeping Russia afloat, if leaking, is oil and gas reserves to the west. Said reserves start tanking within a decade. Imagine a starving country with nuclear waepons, led by a now crotchety old bastard like Czar Vlad will be in 8 or 9 years.

Old NFO said...

Yep, not saying the KGB is involved at all... nope, not a bit...

Anonymous said...

Perhaps this will stir up this country to elect a better idiot to the White House this time?

Just sayin'.

Ulises from CA

Tam said...

OldNFO,

"Yep, not saying the KGB is involved at all... nope, not a bit..."

KGB, FSB... toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe...

Scott said...

Ulises: "Perhaps this will stir up this country to elect a better idiot to the White House this time?"
You mean an idiot in the White House that can say he "...looked the man [Putin] in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul."

Oh wait...

Tam said...

Scott,

I know this is hard to believe while you're still in the throes of a bad BDR relapse (like malaria, Bush Derangement Syndrome never seems to go away, just go into remission) but "Thinks Obama's An Idiot" != "Loves Them Some W".

Anonymous said...

"...looked the man [Putin] in the eye. I found him to be very straight forward and trustworthy and we had a very good dialogue. I was able to get a sense of his soul."

...lets just hope that one doesn't go down in History as an assessment of character and intent on a par with Chamberlain's of Hitler at Munich...