Friday, September 09, 2011

Like a Cliff's Notes of everything that's wrong.

So, on the weekend of the tenth anniversary of the start of the Global War On a Noun, my fair city is unveiling, not a giant bronze equestrian statue of a Green Beret on horseback, trampling Taliban bodies 'neath his hooves, or a huge mural of a shroud-wrapped bin Laden being sent to sleep with the fishes off the fantail of the Carl Vinson, but a pair of rusty, charred beams more appropriate to an Al Qaeda Victory Monument.

Apparently, NYC's been handing these things out for the asking, and if Shelbyville has a WTC girder, then Springfield needs one, too.

And, this being America in the 21st Century, we just went ahead and erected the monument and are now shilling to pay for it, since we bought it on credit.

And, since the dedication ceremony will be taking place on the tenth anniversary of 9/11, I'm sure the local police will be at Threat Level Plaid, complete with bomb-sniffing dogs and everything. And this being postmodern America, I'm sure police K-9 handlers have all taken a one-hour block of instruction on how to not offend Muslims with their dogs, which are, after all, haraam.

And meanwhile, the networks play footage of collapsing buildings over and over and over again, as viewers are invited to wriggle in their hair shirts and remember "New York or Nairobi, Bali or Belfast, Mumbai or Manila, or Lahore or London."

It's like a giant multi-layered wedding cake of everything that's wrong right now.


Carteach said...

There is much truth buried in your snark. It is, in fact, the truthiest and bestus snark I have read in some time.

I agree.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Snark or no, I like the equestrian statue idea. Beats two pieces of steel all hollow.

perlhaqr said...

Are they really giving 'em away? I wonder if I could get one. Make something useful out of it.

Bubblehead Les. said...

In my current Abode of Eastlake, Ohio, we got our WTC Twisted Steel years ago. But they are just another thing on the City Hall's Front Lawn that no one pays attention to until its Election Time.

Fuzzy Curmudgeon said...

Well, Indianapolis is known as a city of war memorials.

Problem is, most of them are a bit more memorable -- and more prominently located -- than this one will be. So I fully expect it to be forgotten and the subject, perhaps 20 years from now, of an indignant letter to the editor of the newspaper regarding "that ugly monument" and how it is little more than a pigeon-attracting nuisance...

JimB said...

I lived through 9/11. I watched those buildings fall from a few blocks away. I need no reminder. I'm going to a gun show in Middletown NY this 9/11.

Anonymous said...

How about we take these steel beams and recycle them into high grade steels which are then turned into some all steel 1911s. There's your memorial.

Brad K. said...


Peddling 9/11 mementos, whether the chunks really came from the dump where the Twin Towers were dumped or not, is an integral part of the American tapestry.

The snake oil salesmen selling remedies that might not actually kill you, the talking heads working up their resumes and Christmas bonuses by dramatizing how "catastrophic" Hurricane Irene "would" be, the President with a Nobel Peace Prize for all the peace he would (never intend to) bring, even a President that swears (almost) in public to abide by and support the Constitution, and be a President to *all* the peoples of America (OK, I made that up, President Kennedy said that), Companies that changed the name of their breakfast cereal from "Sugar Pops" and "Sugar Frosted Flakes" because they didn't want to call attention to "the man behind the curtain".

America is rife with funeral homes making a really good living from planting some dearly departed's remains into a (mostly) permanent "resting place". Hospitals that set up Emergency Wards as cash cows to circumvent insurance company price averaging and Medicare partial payments.

Tree huggers that whine and campaign against raising beef because cows emit methane -- without ever proving that an acre of pasture with a cow produces any more methane than that same acre without said cow -- or rabbits or deer or other "natural" methane producers. Tree huggers that decry burning fossil fuels for all the CO2 that is produced, when methane is 12 times more "green house" active, and 97% of the methane produced in the world comes from swamps and wetlands -- and tree huggers protect wetlands and natural habitats as sacred.

Those eager to bilk the public and their fellow citizen have been a boil on the butt of America since America was a shadow on the distant ocean horizon. I seem to recall reading something about Columbus' claim "With enough money in my pocket, I bet I can sail to India and not have to pay those greedy Saracens nothing".

Whether the huckster calls it "selling", someone is making a good living at pawning off "real, genuine girders that might have come from the WTC".

You could always paint them pink, and post a Mary Kay sticker on them.

Anonymous said...

a local FD received some of those girders too. (I thought they'd all been scrapped to China right away... Didn't Uncle Sam really keep a few of these laying around as keepsakes or eBay?)

I'm hoping they mount the girders vertically in the memorial, so I can add a scale model of WTC7 getting flattened by Wonder Woman's Invisble Jet. Maybe I'll add a briefcase and a yarmaluke to accompany the Fallen Fireman's Boots and Helmet, since the Investment Bankers were the targets. "Never Forget."

staghounds said...

Mr. Mayor?

K├Ąthe Kollwitz on line 2...

skidmark said...

[quote]After weeks of internal debate, White House officials adopted the communications documents to shape public events and official statements, and they sought to strike a delicate balance between messages designed for these two very important but very different audiences on a day when the world’s attention will be focused on President Obama, his leadership team and his nation.[/quote]

Where does the NYeffn'T get off thinking the world will be focusing its attention on Obama, let alone his "leadership team"?

And who the eff besides the NYeffn'T thinks that the county belongs to Obama?

Buying two hunks of twisted steel from Ground Zero ought to be considered in as bad taste as carrying away a hunk of rock/glass from Mt. Kiluea, and ought to have a similar curse attached.

But if I had to pick which was the worse atrocity, I'd say it was what the NYeffn'T said about Obama owning the country. It aint his; it never was his; and it never will be his. Hell, he aint even renting it, he's just driving it off the cliff.

stay safe.

Tam said...

Anon 11:47,

Go suck-start a shotgun, you gullible moron.

If you really believe your government murdered 3,000 people on live TV ten years ago and has lied about it ever since and you're not in jail for at least knee-capping the mailman, then you're a contemptible coward and as useless as a three-legged cocker spaniel.

Either that, or you don't really believe that and just like wanking on the internet to imaginary conspiracy theories.


alcade said...

On this date in history...

President Roosevelt criticized a new Warner Brothers cartoon mocking Nazi soldiers as "hate speech." The president was quoted as saying "These hateful provocations undermine our efforts to stop Germanophobia. We are in a war against Adolph Hitler, not Nazi ideology, which is a political party of peace."

Staff at Warner Brothers have apologized for the incident and have promised to take a course on tolerance.

Anonymous said...


BGMiller said...

"as useless as a three-legged cocker spaniel."

A three legged spaniel would still be cute, fuzzy, and mobile and quite useful (depending on temperment) as a therapy dog.

Just sayin'.


Mattexian said...

I don't know about y'all, but I'm already burned out on this national orgy of mourning. The countdown to it and "inside secrets" shows on cable, everything. I keep expecting the ShamWow guy to be selling on TV, the Genuine, Official, Limited Edition, Red-White-and-Blue Ashes and Sackcloth set (made in Germany-- the Germans make great stuff!) Somebody please wake me on the 12th.

Tam said...


re: Shamwow guy.

I laughed out loud at that. Thanks!

Brad K. said...

@ BGMiller,

A three-legged cocker spaniel would also bark at intruders, greet returning home-mates, be as fertile as before.

A dog that eats unassisted and does it's "business" where expected is as much a dog, and as valuable, as it needs to be.

Even if it gets frustrated trying to chase cars that are actually, like, moving. (Yes, I have seen three legged dogs that didn't slow one whit, too.)

NotClauswitz said...

If investment bankers were the targets, why did Obama give 'em so much free money?
We have two chunks of the Berlin Wall out by Google, but I bet the Googleoids never visit them or even know they are there, too young.

Cincinnatus said...

Tam, 1:52 PM, September 09, 2011

Hear, hear. Truthers are despicable.

Anonymous said...

I plan on remembering 9/11 by eating pork and shooting a Qur'an.

Kristophr said...

Anon: Not m1911s.

Turn them into MOAB cases. And use the fuckers.

Anonymous said...

Happy "I Hate Muslims Day" to all you bigots and racists on here.

Bring on the Quran, camel, and sand jokes. You make me ashamed to be American.

Brad K. said...

@ Anon 11:53,

Excuse me, but of the 3,000 or so killed, and thousands of families affected by loss, some have cause to remember the day with grief and hurt. I haven't heard much about a co-ordinated, compassionate outreach from the international Muslim community.

My own unhappiness with the hoopla of today is that so very many hucksters and shills are working overtime -- pimping a non-existent "occasion" to deck out their resume (face time on TV, number of "special reports", etc.) and striving mightily for a hefty Christmas bonus (for helping their organization, paper, TV, fundraiser) to bring in more cash flow. Note the angst and contention in NYC over various clergy that were not invited to the ceremonies (which just happen to put city and other officials in front of voters, er, cameras, to reinforce to the community how well the good citizens are being led.

You know, the conversations about "Who is Bloomberg, wasn't he the wacko barging in on gun shows in Indiana?" "Oh, no! Bloomberg was the one that rebuilt New York City, and he told us how he got the money and built that pretty park and all! And how it was a shame that all those people that would have voted for him were gone now, but we are supposed to vote in their stead, or something."

Are you promising that the folk that trained and organized the thugs that damaged NYC and the Pentagon, and the Pennsylvania fields, think of today as just another day to commit mayhem, with no thoughts of past mayhem or even thinking they serve their faith? Pardon me for being skeptical that fundraisers anywhere know shame.