Saturday, September 03, 2011

Overheard in Roomie's Bedroom:

Roomie is laying back on her bed, watching a documentary about feral hippos in South America. Apparently these things were imported by drug barons and have escaped to the wild where they have set up housekeeping and are tearing up farmland like giant wild hogs and breeding like three-ton rabbits.
RX: "What?!? They're going to trank it! Shoot the hippo! It's not a puppy, it's an invasive species! Shoot the hippo!"

Me: "Better yet, let the land owner charge some yanqui gringo three thousand bucks to come shoot the hippo."
I wonder if they're any good to eat?

Hmm... My .405 Win Encore barrel looks a little light. Perhaps I should order one in .416 Rigby?

37 comments:

Aaron said...

Seeing the post, I first read it as feral hippies, a much more destructive invasive species....

Alan J. said...

Wow - a twofer plan of getting rid of pesky Hippos and starting a new tourist industry. Bonus points for freaking out PETA as well.

"Save the Forest, shoot a hippo!"

Chas S. Clifton said...

Now if Mexican drug barons would keep pet hippos, and said hippos would escape, we would not have to trek all the way to South Africa.

Problem: lack of suitable riparian habitat on la frontera Hmm.. how about rhinos?

Chas S. Clifton said...

Sorry, for South Africa read South America. But maybe there is drug-baron habitat in South Africa too.

Anonymous said...

Huh. I read feral hippies too, and was trying to figure out why the hippies had hippos.

Late middle age, it's like a permanent hangover!


phil

Robert Fowler said...

Teddy R. Took quite a bit of big game with a .405. Should be plenty good. Good hunting.

45er said...

Let the free market drive that and you'll take care of the problem real quick. I'm interested to see the effect of Texas legalizing private individuals paying to hunt wild pigs from helicopters. If you can make money at something while you're solving a problem it seems to really work. Imagine that.

og said...

Only ones I ever saw shot were two guys with 577 nitros, and I'm here to tell you, I was just WATCHING the video, and i thought they were undergunned.

Will said...

IIRC, the preferred technique is to shoot them while they are in at least hip deep water (their hips), so they can't effectively charge you. Because, if they live long enough to charge, you're toast.

Will said...

African natives love eating them, but since they aren't armed, doesn't happen often.

wv: monsto. Yep, they qualify for that label.

Skip said...

Mr. Bell dropped a lot of pachyderms with a 7mm.

Peter said...

Hippo make great eating! Their meat is well marbled, and works spectacularly well in a stroganoff. Must be a couple of decades since last I had it, but I can still remember the taste (with great pleasure, and real longing for more!).

Mmmm . . . Hippo - the other wet meat!

:-)

Charles Pergiel said...

"...breeding like three-ton rabbits." Ha!

Brigid said...

Texas is now allowing feral pig hunting from helicopters.

Pork Choppers!

45er said...

Oh, Brigid, if I had the capital to start that business I would steal your idea in exchange for a free pork shoot.

Firehand said...

I've read that the meat is quite good.

And of the non-carnivores in Africa, these things kill more people than anything else; Capstick had a chapter on them in one of his books. Fast, aggressive, territorial and fighting tusks that are downright awesome in use.

I hadn't heard about the hippos before. I had read that there's a region of Brazil that has Asian Red Water Buffalo; someone wanted water buffalo for farm animals back in the early 1900's and- God knows how, and I mean that truly- the guy they bought calves from shipped them Asian Red's instead of carabou. They got about half-grown, broke out into the swamps and made themselves at home. As somebody put it, "The only predator that can bother them(other than man) is jaguar, and once they're half-grown or more the stupidist jag in the world isn't dumb enough to annoy one.") Capstick made a trip there to hunt one, and said it was one of the hardest and most dangerous huts he'd ever made.

Joanna said...

You guys sound like me when I watch bad action movies. "Forget the elaborate death trap! He's already trapped! Just shoot him in the face!"

DirtCrashr said...

Just imagine the size of the slices of bacon you could get out of one of those! One slice to a plate!

Stephen said...

Think Rodda 4 bore double.

Charles Pergiel said...

Mmmm, bacon.

Anonymous said...

Jeff Cooper once waxed rhapsodical about making an attempt on a hippo:

One of the things that we look forward to in the New Year is the chance to confront an angry bull hippo on dry land. Arrangements have been made.

Sport Pilot said...

W/O doubt someone would willingly pay to hunt these hippo...but not me...

And as for you Ms. Brigid, Pork Chopper indeed, now I've got a stich in my side.

Ed Skinner said...

Yep. I read "feral hippies" too. Woodstock anonymous off-spring shipped out by the local farmers would be my guess.

John Stephens said...

Not just bacon, think of the ribs!

BGMiller said...

Why stop at .416 Rigby?

Make the antis really wet themselves and get a .700 Nitro Express.


And wouldn't a hippo make a nice trophy over the fireplace at Roseholme? Just think how happy Huck would be to have somewhere else to sit.

BGM

WV: chity - Sorry Bwana, you must sign chity before you piga kiboko.

John B said...

I vote for .505 Gibbs. Knowing it's not a democracy. But that's the 'stopper' caliber African Pro Hunter's and Guides carry for everything.

I'm looking forward to the Bloggers South American Hippo Shoot in 2016.

Joseph said...

Nobody else here ever watched Peter Potamus?

sobriant74 said...

My wife came into the living room when she heard me yelling at the teewee "shoot the damn hippos...shoot the damn hippos" again and again. I dont understand why feral illegally imported former zoo animals are allowed to reproduce like bunnies.

Jason Rogers said...

As I first started reading this for some reason I saw "hippy" instead of "hippo". I thought the story was better my way.

Borepatch said...

Hippo is quite good. Surprisingly mild flavor, and not at all porky tasting.

TimP said...

That's what they do for the feral water buffalo in Northern Australia. For a few thousand dollars (it seems to vary upwards from $5000 AU) you too can blow away a big ol' water buffalo.

Lergnom said...

I got here too late to suggest .700 Nitro first, but +1 on the idea.
Also, hog jowls for days!
stay safe

Anonymous said...

"Roomie is laying back on her bed..."

The verb "to lay" is transitive, which means it takes an object. You lay something on a bed. What is roomie laying on her bed?

Or did you mean to say "roomie is lying back on her bed" in the sense of reclining on her bed?

Tam said...

I'd be lying if I said I didn't mean 'lying'.

I am aware of the difference, but it still trips me up sometimes.

When I'm writing where it counts, my editors catch it before they mail me the check.

Anonymous said...

I've done the Cape Buffalo thing, along with some of the less, um, "bite-y, scratchy and stomp-y" things. Hippo is on my list for next time.

Hippo in water, lots of things work fine. Hippo on dry land, then follow the generic rules for "stopping rifles" which seems to be bullets of at least:
.45 caliber
.300 sectional density
Solid construction
2000 fps impact velocity.

a .458 Win is the bottom of the list. My .458 Lott is a little more comfortably over the minimums. On the advise of a very trustworth Professional Hunter I know, I wouldn't try it with a .375 or a .416. Those things kill a lot of hunters when taken on dry land, especially when you manage to get between them and their water. But I will try it on my next trip to Africa, and maybe I can arrange for a trip to S.A. in the interval. All the better if there are Hippies on the license!

FormerFlyer

DJ said...

"I wonder if they're any good to eat?"

Pete Capstick says, in Death in the Long Grass:

"It is my personal opinion that hippo meat is one of the finest of game foods. I had a safari chef who could make s better stroganoff from the thigh-thick interior filets that lie up under the ribs along the spine than you could buy in New York. Just as it would be difficult to describe the taste of beef to a person who had never tried it, so it is with hippo. The taste is mild, less than lamb and more than beef, slightly more marbled than the usual venison. It tastes exactly like, well, hippo."

J.R.Shirley said...

Skip...dammit...Bell was recoil-sensitive.


1. Bell only took head shots.

2. Sometimes the head shots DID NOT WORK.

3. Bell eventually moved to the 318 Westley Richards. (250 grain Soft Nose Bullet or Solid; Muzzle Velocity 2400 ft/sec. )

http://www.westleyrichards.com/gun/ammo_metal.php