Sunday, November 13, 2011

Damning with faint praise.

Apparently you can get vacuum-packed sammiches from CMMG now that will let you enjoy the savory tastes of post-apocalyptic tomorrow on your camping trips today. Available in beef or barbecue flavors, reviewer Ed Friedman describes it thusly:
The bread was surprisingly spongy—not at all stale—and the beef wasn’t as dry as one might expect from a vacuum-sealed food product. We’d describe the taste as similar to beef jerky on under-baked focaccia.
Which makes me want to rush right out and get some, let me tell you.

Although, compared to some of the stuff I've eaten out of vacuum packets in the woods previously, which tasted far closer to sweat socks than underdone focaccia, that's really not that bad of a recommendation....

By the way, has anybody tried that canned bacon yet? Or is it mostly bought for novelty purposes?


(H/T to Insty.)

23 comments:

Matt G said...

The canned bacon that comes cured but raw, ready for the griddle, I first tried 20 years ago, after it had lived in the back of our cabinet for 10 years.

Fan. Tas. Tic.

og said...

The Tactical bacon is thankfully NOT like Advanced Tea Substitute, in that it tastes almost, but not completely utterly unlike bacon. It's actually OK, except that the flavor and quality varies from can to can (Duh, like regular bacon). I would not pay $15 a can for it when good regular bacon is readily available, but park me in the middle of the Zombie Apocalypse, and I'll gladly eat it by the truckload until I can find uncontaminated real bacon.

Frankly, Spam is the survival food of the Zombie Apocalypse; cheap, easy to serve and prepare, and has the shelf life of gravel. Assuming you can stomach it, which, understandably, many can't.

WV: Flathmet. The taste Bacon eventually accumulates after having been stored in metal cans for an extended period of time "Do you have a fresh CMMG? this one is all over flathmet"

RandyGC said...

If you have a boatload of Spam, and can make it to Hawaii, you'll have no trouble buying your way onto the island.

I remember the first time I walked into a Zippy's restaurant and looked at the menu. Thought I'd walked into a certain Python sketch.

Bubblehead Les. said...

They make a BLT Sammich yet?

Homer said...

Well, OK, there's some value here; I think I can survive, based on these data.

But tell me - who can I contact to purchase 5 gallon carboys of Dewar's 12 year aged scotch, or, better yet, the same quantities of Glenfiddich single malt? Moderately acceptable food I can probably find in several places, decent booze, not so much.

azmountaintroll said...

So basically it's a meat Pop-Tart? Not that I have a problem with that.

Kristopher said...

If you add black dye to the canned bacon, it becomes tactical canned bacon.

You could also make a tactical vacuum packed sandwich this way.

Hope this helps, have a nice day.

Kristopher said...

Of course, these days Dark Earth is the new tactical black.

Not sure if I want to eat Dark Earth Bacon.

Anonymous said...

Re the bacon. Have you checked with Barkley? Understand he is the REAL expert.

wv: elbagno not touching that one with an eleven foot pole.

Terry
Florida

Joe in PNG said...

No survival food kit can be complete without ramen noodles! Your best bet is to get the ones from an asian grocery.
As for spam, you cube it up and stir fry it with some cooked ramen noodles with a bit of curry powder. Not all that bad, really.

Mikael said...

The really serious survivalist types stockpile whole wheat. Practically unlimited shelflife. They'll be able to make fresh bread after the apocalypse(probably unleavened bread but hey).

Having meat on hand is always nice as well, but ammo might be more storage space efficient than freeze-dried/dehydrated/canned meat.

Standard Mischief said...

CMMG just slaps a tactical label on stuff and tactically ups the price, though they do seems to sell in smaller quantities.

longlifefood.com/pbr--Meat-Entrees/products/1025/

And here's bacon before it gets its tactical on:

mredepot.com/servlet/the-364/Yoder%E2%80%99s-Celebrity-Canned-Bacon/Detail

I've only had the shelf-stable plastic packaged precooked bacon on the trail and I must say it kicks (store bought) beef jerky to the curb. Hormel & Oscar Mayer make it and you can buy it in the grocery store.

Standard Mischief said...

As for SPAM, I'd advice people to buy the generic at Aldi or Wal-Mart because it tastes the same as their "lite" and its at least a buck a can cheaper.

To improve palatability, slice it as thin as possible (say about bologna thickness) and fry it up crisp.

Hopefully, we'll all be able to avoid potted meat or vienna sausages after TEOTWAWKI.

Standard Mischief said...

canned bacon review:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/taste-test-yoders-canned-bacon-and-oscar-mayer-ful,2481/

Sherm said...

You may want to jump on the dehydrated squirrel while you still can.
http://www.internet-grocer.net/squirrel.htm

Anonymous said...

Pops worked for Hormel. He claimed that Spam had a bad reputation because the product GI's ate was rarely Spam. Others claim it has a bad reputation because it is...well...Spam. I like Spam...a lot. Cubed in mac 'n cheese, grilled Spam and cheese sandwich, Spam maki, Spam and eggs, and Spam fried rice are all reasonable substitutes for food. Low salt(why?)Spam unfortunately now contains mechanically separated chicken. Why adulterate Spam? sheese! http://www.snopes.com/food/graphics/msm.jpg

BGMiller said...

[shrillfalsetto] I don't like Spam![shrillfalsetto]




Somebody had to do it. And pan fried Spam on slices of fried bread in a can cooked over a Coleman stove in a little shack (deer camp/fish camp/get away from the world camp on a cold rainy day makes "civilization" seem a mighty poor idea.

BGM

Anonymous said...

Somebody sent me a can of Tactical Bacon in a care package in Afghanistan. It was the single most appreciated item I ever received in the mail from anyone. Ever.

-Alec

greg said...

That's not a very inspiring review on the canned bacon by the AVClub gang...entertaining though.

I personally have tried the Red Feather Canned Butter...and it is outstanding. A few cans of that, and a few cans of B&M Brown Bread will help that neighborhood cat go down easier.

tanksoldier said...

Those sandwiches are in the MRE "First Strike Ration" and are available elsewhere for less.

Likewise canned bacon.

Stretch said...

Along with emergency supplies of Spam, tinned meat (DADT applies to more than the military) and water also have a list of neighborhood dogs and overweight children. Just in case ...

Robert said...

Just ate some Yoders canned bacon yesterday.

I now want a truckload of the stuff...For the coming ______ apocalypse. Promises to be one of the greatest morale boosters in my preps - up there with rum and ice on the taste of civilization scale.

Cybrludite said...

I've had the Yoder's canned bacon, and found it quite tasty. The can of CMMG Tactical Bacon I had, I ended up giving to a food drive so as to give the food bank folks a nice WTF moment.

WV: hizerers. Who knew that Snoop Dog worked for Captcha?