Friday, April 04, 2014

Grumble.

I haven't looked at the barometer on Clifford the Big Red Watch to see what the air pressure's been doing, but I don't much need to. It feels like I'm walking on someone else's legs from the knees down.

Thing is, if I was going to steal someone else's legs to walk on, why would I pick someone whose legs hurt so much?

And while I'm grumbling, I'd like to grumble about the jackhole who keeps dropping their bags of dog feces in my trash can after the trash man has run. Unless you are walking your dog here from some other county, you know that they don't dump these cans, which means that I have to retrieve your pooch's precious package out of the bottom of the can and bag it myself.

If I wanted to handle bags of your dog's crap, I'd come on the walk with you and offer to carry it, you ************* entitled-actin', self-absorbed, thimble-headed gherkin. I hope your dog has the runs all over the most expensive and hard-to-clean floor covering in your house.
.

29 comments:

Bob said...

Don't suppose you could rig the can with a jack-in-the-box-style boobie trap, could you?

OldTexan said...

In the part of Texas where I live that comes real close to a defense for justifiable homicide.

New Jovian Thunderbolt said...

Got a deer cam you can rig?

Anonymous said...

Set up a game camera to id the miscreant?

davek

Pakkinpoppa said...

In my old lodgings, there were condos next door to the apartments. A jackhole would walk his dog over to our apartments, and let it do its business in the grass between the sidewalks.
I discovered that the hard way when moving into that place when I realized I'd tracked it up my stairs.

At that point, I was a regular in Camel country, and I didn't smoke inside. A few times I saw someone with a dog wander around the back of the building into the courtyard, then pull up short and walk the other way (pets were Verboten in our place being rentals...).

Usually it was late at night, after dark. All I could think of was...if you have a dog, and are so against cleaning up its leavings, then why have the dog? Its not like that whole "walk dog and it poops" is a surprise to about 99% of the populace who have brains...but how many people have those engaged these days?

"Chutzpah"...as you put it the other day. Using someone else's trash can for your own dog's poop.

Keads said...

brinno TLC200 time lapse camera. Amazon is your friend. I have two here. They work great.

Chas Clifton said...

What davek said.

Knucklehead said...

Our local park has these doggie bags strewn into trees ferkryinoutloud. Nice that you pick up after your dog but why do think the next thing to do is heave the baggie into the trees? Sometimes they catch on limbs like some sort of sick ornament.

Of just toss it on the ground for... whom?... to pick up?

Anonymous said...

Maybe you could just shoot the SOB & make it look like a terrorist attack? :)

Merler

rickn8or said...

Leave a friendly heavily-armed-borderline-psychotic note for the doggie doo depositor on the inside of the trash bin lid.

Anonymous said...

Maybe print this post and tape it to the can?

og said...

We had a neighbor in my old house who let his dog shit all over our yard. I collected it and dumped it down his chimney.

We have another such miscreant who lives in this neighborhood but whose exact address I have not discovered. When I do, I will be using one of those USPS flat rate boxes to mail it back to him.

Tony said...

Periodically, I take my daughters out with extra bags and we clean up along the roads where we walk our dog. It's a great "punishment" chore for when they've been shirking their normal duties around the house, and a great lesson that a BIG part of life is often cleaning up other peoples shit and how I'm raising them to NOT be the person other people have to clean up after. Only time will tell if the lesson takes.

Jeff said...

I'd imagine it would stop after rigging up a game camera with a very bright and visible flash.

Mike_C said...

> When I do, I will be using one of those USPS flat rate boxes to mail it back to him.

Boy, I sure hope I haven't got on your bad side. I actually downloaded the USPS manual, and on a cursory reading it probably isn't illegal to mail dog shit ("hazardous material" and all). Come to think of it, 'round these parts someone proposed a research protocol involving 24-h stool collection (human, for purposes of understanding fat absorption) and having the study participants mail the day's worth of poop to the central lab for analysis. The legal and logistical folks actually signed off on the protocol, so it probably is legal. At least if you can claim it is for medical/research purposes. (Perhaps mailing dog shit to an asshole neighbor could count as "educational"?)

For the idly curious, that part of the protocol was NOT implemented after the investigators asked themselves, "Hey, if someone asked me to shit in a box for 24h and then seal up the (provided, waterproof) box, would I do it?"

Anonymous said...

Stick a note a can under some clear peel & stick stuff. "PLEASE DO NOT PUT your DOG SHIT IN THIS CAN"

Will said...

Jeff:

a visible flash would likely cause the camera to disappear.

I'm thinking a large photo taped to the OUTSIDE of the lid would stop this idiot. (no one looks at the inside of a trash can lid when depositing trash)

My preference would be to track him down, and dump as much "crap" at his place as possible. Got any elephants in the local zoo? Nearby cows, etc?

leaddog said...

A very loud bell, buzzer or siren rigged so it activates when the lid is removed. Besides scaring the $#;* out of him, it could alert you introduce yourself as the owner of those fine cans, or follow him and dump it in his driver's seat.

og said...

Mike C:

Fertilizer.

D.W. Drang said...

I fi9nd it curious that you, me, and DDaddy Bear all got a visit from the Ghost of Getting Old within 24 hours. Or at least, felt compelled like blogging about it...

Will @ 4:20: Elephant dung is highly sought-after for it's utility as fertilizer.

NotClauswitz said...

As for the barometer, there's WeatherSpark (via DW Drang at the Cluemeter).

Anonymous said...

Now, Tam, you've got to learn to let your feelings out - it's unhealthy to hold these things in, you know.

DJ9 said...

"I hope your dog has the runs all over the most expensive and hard-to-clean floor covering in your house."

You could probably arrange this by leaving a little "snack" for his doggie somewhere near the can (the dog is probably with him when he makes the deposit). Beefstick with a tiny bit of laxative inside, maybe?

When our neighbor from the far end of the 4-plex used to walk his dog over to our yard and let him poop, I scraped it into a pile all winter, and when spring arrived, I waited until the left the house and then opened their back screen door, raised the storm window, and shoveled it all into the gap between the doors. They began walking the pooch in the other direction, on the kids' soccer field (some people...).

Anonymous said...

A common problem - so common, in fact, that there are "no-dog-poop" stickers for sale that you can stick on your trash can. They're the generic red circle with red diagonal line over a silhouette of a dog taking a crap.

We try to bring the trash can inside the fence as soon as the trash man has emptied it, but it's not always convenient to do so, especially when they're running late.

BSR

bedlamite said...

All you need is an address

Buzz said...

I'm with og.

Mark Philip Alger said...

Is there such a thing as a brown note dogwhistle?

M

Anonymous said...

http://www.predatorpee.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=CTGY&Store_Code=LE&Category_Code=BEAR

Sprinkle & the dog won't go near your yard w/ out a lot of fussing. Noose can alert you to human malcreant.

Ulises from CA

perlhaqr said...

Since the trash cans here are all those big attached lid units that get picked up by the robo-claw on the side of the trash truck, honestly, I'd vastly prefer bagged dog poop in the can to loose dog poop in the yard.

If the garbagemen don't dump your cans, do you just put loose bags by the curb for them?